Don't Tell Me I Can Stay

I wrote this song about a situation that is still ongoing. Despite it all, I still feel connected to him and I'm trying to let it go. Easier said than done.

[Verse 1]

Since we met, all I've heard is maybe with the door half open

But then I step through, and leave, and you close it behind you

You act like your hands are okay not touching what's real

As if love is something you can decide how to feel.

You smile and I think, this is it, you're finally staying

But you give me just enough, and then it leaves me praying.

I know what your pauses mean, I read them every night

I let my heart glow in silence, I try not to dim my light.

[Chorus]

Don't tell me I can stay

I'm not made for this push and pull

I told myself I'd rather walk away

Than feel your half-hearted love.

I told myself I wouldn't leave a light on.

That I'd start dating someone new.

It makes me feel angry that I stay connected to you.

[Verse 2]

I visit bars and swipe right, maybe have a date every night

Smile through the conversation, pretend it feels right.

I let them touch my hands, let them open doors to walk through

But in the back of my mind, all I really want to feel is you.

Can I try to forget the low lit rooms, dancing close in your arms?

Can I leave behind the long conversations, that built this useless bond?

I need another man in my arms, I need someone else to talk with me, too

I need to build the same bond with someone other than you.

[Chorus]

Don't tell me I can stay

I'm not made for this push and pull

I need to try to walk away.

I don't want your half-hearted love.

I know I shouldn't leave that light on.

That I should start dating someone new.

But through all my trying, I'm still feel connected to you.

[Bridge]

I keep rehearsing what I'd say

if you called tomorrow or today

I keep wondering if you'll call

or if I can even wait another day

Meanwhile my right now

is begging me to stay.

What can I say?

[Chorus]

Don't tell me I can stay

I feel like I'm made for you.

I guess I'll try to walk away,

If you know that you can't, too.

I know I shouldn't leave that light on.

That I should embrace someone new.

But through all my trying, I still feel connected to you.

[Final Verse]

I still don't see your name on my phone as I watch the morning sun rise.

I pretend this silence means peace, that I'm finally free and won't compromise.

I want to step into the future without wondering if you'll be here,

But through it all, I'm hoping that this message will be clear.

I'm tired of loving you in the quiet moments, knowing it won't land.

I'm tired of wondering if in between, someone else is holding your hand.

I want something that will last, that will lead to something true.

What good is giving out my love if I know I have to look for you?

[Outro]

Yes, I miss you. Yes, I wonder if what we had was even real.

But just don't tell me to stay, if you know that you can't stay too.

Rough Take of the Song (Acapela) - Listen on Soundcloud

https://soundcloud.com/kathtsoukalas/dont-tell-me-i-can-stay-rough-take