Where My True Face Begins

The first chapter traces the early years of a man who has always felt out of place, shaped by solitude, intuition, and a constant search for meaning. Born much later than his brothers, he grows up between a distant father, an exhausted mother, and a childhood split between Paris and the countryside. Animals become his first refuge, music his second, and his father’s workshop his third.

Very early, he senses that life has a hidden structure, something he will only understand years later through Jung. At school, he struggles to fit in. Without pocket money and raised under strict rules, he steals his first coins just to belong. A kind teacher becomes a source of tenderness, until his mother discovers his gifts and moves him to a stricter religious school.

There, two passions awaken: the organ, which overwhelms him the first time he touches it, and a young teacher whose indifference later wounds him deeply. His behavior spirals, and he ends up in boarding school, a place that feels like punishment but becomes the ground of his personal rebellion. Bullied by a sadistic supervisor, he takes revenge by sabotaging the man’s door lock with plaster.

The school uses a system of red‑ink “bonus stamps” to cancel punishments. He learns to forge them, becoming the unofficial forger of the institution, freeing himself and others from sanctions. When his father refuses to support his dream of studying medicine, he turns entirely to music, spending hours at the chapel organ and hacking the school’s discipline system to do so.

A psychiatrist later confirms he is perfectly balanced but highly intelligent, which explains the communication gap with his mother. Through a family connection, he discovers the great organ of Saint‑Eustache, an overwhelming spiritual experience. He then meets an organ builder who teaches him the craft, leading him to build his own home organ.

His mother eventually corrects his academic path, sending him to a business school. At the same time, he joins forces with Father Dominique to create a vocal and instrumental ensemble. There, he meets Catherine, a young chorister who awakens in him a feeling he has never known before — the beginning of a passion that will mark his life.

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