A Confession: Why I Remained a Scammer

Life has been good. And the definition of good now is different from the definition of good a year ago.

Good means enough sleep. Good means I don’t have to worry about being electrocuted or being beaten up. Good means I live without expectations.

No expectations means no disappointments.

Rewinding to a year ago. I went from running businesses to fleeing persecution. I was facing police targeting for LGBT advocacy.

I fought hard

A determined gay man against the state.

I lost. My resources exhausted alongside a targeted criminal charged on the facade of license breach.

I left for Cambodia.

“Shouldn’t be hard to rebuild” I thought to myself. But I was proved wrong.

Unanswered emails, desk rejections, plenty of “good lucks”. I was starting to panic, when I got a call for an interview. I was scheduled for work days after.

A car came to pick me up that day. I guess realizing I have finally something to look forward towards gave me some kind of relief that I didn’t have. Relief that things might eventually be slightly better since I am employed.

A relief that turned into a horrific nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.

When I woke up from my sleep, not knowing how long in the journey has been, the sky was already dark. A guy dressed assumingly like a guard was peeking in through the windshield.

I had woken up from him knocking. A short conversation with the driver, and the gate in front opened. The car drove probably another 300m before we came to a stop.

At that point I didn’t know still that I was in a scam compound. In fact, I was so desperate for a job that I just accepted it without asking much. All I knew was I’m taking up a translator job.

But it was no translation job.

A year in.

Resistance turned into compliance. There were abuses. Violence existed.

Other than that? It was a job. Yeah, I ended up a paid scammer.

Just to be clear. I have resisted and gotten punished. I have put on fights.

Those were at times when I feel like I won’t be forced there. Times when I feel like I won’t be trapped. Times when I believed in our justice system. Or for a matter of fact, the world’s justice system.

But repeated requests for help went unanswered. Hundreds of emails. Some phone calls. They all started with some interest, turned silence.

It always end at the point where I mentioned we are paid $1000 a month. Sometimes it gets accepted, but it most certainly won’t get pass the request to pay for my penalty fee out.

You see, within the system, people are paid for sending a worker in. 20k, sometimes higher, depending on the language ability.

The staff will then be tasked to work to pay off the penalty before allowed freedom. It was on my 10–15 communication before I realized the pattern.

Am I supposed to lie? Why weren’t my truth accepted?

I eventually had no choice but to work for my freedom.

Being bilingual gave me insights as to the existence of the disparity gap between reality and media perception. Foreigners are kidnapped for their insights, then used to target their locals members.

They also acted as the “voice” behind phone calls after reading the conversations just to increase realism by “syncing” with the chat.

Same structure. Same exit path.

After payment of penalty or work till you clear it.

For survival, we work. For escape, we work.

Because help that was supposed to come didn’t. Raids were staged but when told to outside, nobody will accept it.

Because stories have been narrated by victims who left during staged raids upon completion of their contract on rescue facade.

Because victims have no choice but to keep up the story of being abused to avoid being punished or criminalised if they speak the truth.

Because nobody would echo victim’s truth.

Because the system and institutions have a truth fixed within their beliefs.

Because doing it will means declaring institution and system failure.

Because it’s easier for systems to deny the fact that abuses only happen to non-compliances or staffs that are caught embezzling or insubordination than accept it so they don’t look like fools for being played.

Because saying sorry for “not being in our mandate” and referring to another department is easier for responsibility shift.

So victims and their truths keeps getting shifted around.

So criminals keeps exploiting these gaps and keeps scamming. So I keep scamming.

I still have a year left.

I lost a year of my life