Word of the Day: ヒトデ

I am reminded of Cedar Hills now...I don't want to think of that place. I have all the journals from there. I didn't bother converting them to my blog here. Not everything needs to be digitally uploaded.

Also it is the fact that.. What? I would only be able to do 6 pages a day? That also means I would have to stay indoors for a long time because I wouldn't have room to do any errands. Doesn't make any sense to do.

Ye. I have time and space now, but I rather leave those slots for actual outings because the weather is finally good. Also I have things I actually have to do so starting another project while I am already compromised seems like a silly thing to do.

I have a thing I need to do... that I am very annoyed at because, it costs money and... I don't want to buy this thing.

But it is a necessary buy.

Not only that. I need to "schedule" an appointment with Behavioral Health. That will cost time and slots... of stupidity.

Other things... yes, I know I need to do.. I also wonder if I should add pictures of some of the issues I am struggling with to make it a more productive email. I think it is worth it just to make them sweat at the very least.

But like I said before, I am not doing well. Mentally I am fine, it is Physical.

Psychic.

Eh, sure. Psychic too maybe but this is just turbulent waters right now so I don't think this is particular to me. If I go around naked running in the streets like Lady Godiva, sure lock me up. But, I am not even wanting to do that.

Lol.. I guess that is expected of me, but I am not the orange man's wife.

Also... Ah, spirit is asking me not to admit to something. Lol.. Mm.. Yea I am just using some slots right now but I will actually need to do some things again. Just a break from reality, as all writing is.

6pm... Too late to do anything now. I need to close shop and prepare for tomorrow.

Having lovers of different elements taught me a lot. They have their different humiliation rituals and binds. I have done things like this before, obviously.

I don't think there is any call for anything like this right now. Not at all.

There is no shame nor penitence now.

I can't speak of always but, I am actually optimistic right now.

Mmm... I guess the battle now is maintaining this...

Poise

Well, thank you. Most likely.

I can't be scared of adversity either. Someone in my family also spoke of the power of faith. A fire and air sign both spoke of these. Why should I not believe in them?

I am actually getting more happy. I have a few things to look forward to. But I have to do my work. Jim Carrey even said for manifesting, you can't just think happy thoughts then go eat a sandwich.

Yea, they don't like that I mention them, but I am just saying the truth.

Ahhhhhh yes, people say "believing" is a lesser thing than "knowing" something. Meh, who cares right now. I am getting ready to go to bed. I want tomorrow to come. I need to do things.

Ah..... Well bruh, we're the same so you don't need to try me.

Knowledge is power, but it is also........... a liability.

It is getting colder so, it will be harder for me to actually do my TODO list, even if I stay indoors. I know what I can do though, so... Yea.. I will decide after this.