20 things not to say to someone with dementia.

Why Communication Matters When Dementia is Involved ?

Communication becomes the most important factor in dealing with cases of dementia as with the onset of dementia comes a fall in cognitive activity, they might find it hard to understand words, forget aspects of their regular life, be less mobile, less responsive to external stimuli, be slower on the uptake and ask repetitive questions, it's important to understand it is harder for them than it is for you, so you need to be clearer in your communication, be concise and simple and give them time to understand and to not be interpreted as inappropriate or aggressive by the individual.

THE 20 Things NOT to say to someone with Dementia.

1. “Remember we spoke about this……”

Try not to invoke memories of conversations or events that happened in the past as they might struggle remembering the event, which might lead them to feeling inadequate and we want to make sure we don’t let them feel negatively about themself.

Instead, remind them of the fact preemptively with simple statements,

“You have an appointment with the doctor today, so should we get ready?”

2. “What Day is It”

Such a question relies heavily on them remembering certain factors that might seem mundane to remember for us but terribly hard for them,

Instead, speak plainly about the day and time like,

“It's Wednesday morning, would you like to go on a walk?”

3. “That Person Died Ages Ago…”

They might not remember such a traumatic memory, so it would be better to not let them relive such trauma by reliving the past, instead help them remember happier memories.

4. “Calm Down”

One of the hardest parts of taking care of a person suffering from dementia is the arguments, they might get mad and puffy about something but telling someone to calm down never truly works.

Instead, talk to them in a calming voice and show empathy when possible as they deserve that.

5. “As I have already said”

Never be stern about repeating things as repeating a statement a 100 times is better than embarrassing an individual by pointing out their inability to remember.

6. “You are Wrong”

Even when they get something incorrect and not completely factual, it's important to understand the emotion behind what they say over the words itself.

7. “Do you remember my Name”

It might be sad to think someone you love or care about might not remember your name or what you mean to them but as a caregiver you must never in the hopes of satiate your curiosity cause them pain in any way, so don’t let them strain trying to remember your name instead try in every instance to reintroduce yourself, “ Hi, its Deb your daughter, how are you doing?”

8. “You’re doing it just to get attention”

An accusation like that hurts the feelings and experiences of anyone involved, instead try to be empathetic in understanding their needs instead of dismissing them for attention-seeking behaviour.

9. “You aren't trying hard enough”

What to you might seem like someone not trying their hardest to do something might in fact be the opposite, disregard any preconceived notions and just be empathetic and present in the moment and help them when they find it necessary.

10.“Why can’t you do what you used to ?”

Losing the ability to do something that you were able to do is a painful process, do not bring up that fact to the individual as that just propagates the pain further instead offer assistance when possible.

11. “You’re too old for that”

Such dismissive statements just dampen the afflicted individual's mood and make them relive their mortality which is very taxing for them to go through, please try to be mindful while talking to a senior with such a disability.

12. “You’re making that up”

Ignoring the facts and understanding the feeling is the best mantra when taking care of someone with dementia as they demonstrate their feelings through non verbal and verbal cues that the caretaker must understand.

13. “You just ate”

They might not remember the fact they just ate and pointing that out leads to no good instead try to be constructive and ask them if they are hungry or whether they would like a snack instead.

14. “Stop Being Difficult.”

As much as it might seem the opposite for you, for them they are not being difficult but trying to convey themselves in the best way they can, so be compassionate and empathetic with your words and not use them in such a manner that feels hurtful.

15. “Just forget about it.”

Those combinations of words are like kryptonite for that kind soul, so don’t ask them to forget about things in an innocent or vicious way as it lets them be conscious about their inability to properly remember.

16. “I don’t have time for this”

The stating of such a statement makes them feel less important and thus can affect negatively in your interactions with the individual thus forth, it is important to give them the importance they deserve.

17. “You’re fine”

Do not presume their condition as it might make them feel invalidated, instead ask when necessary to let them know that their input is important and that they are heard.

18. “You can’t do that”

Instead of forbidding them from doing something, guide them to the outcome you desire, making them feel respected and letting them have autonomy.

19. “What’s Wrong with You”

Compassion is key, they might not understand their mistake so talk to them kindly and with respect so that they know what's right and wrong.

20. “I give up”

Sometimes it's hard taking care of someone with the ailment, but never give up verbally as it might make them feel abandoned or ignored, instead guide them and help with compassion and grace.

Compassion is Key:

When taking care of dementia patients it's always good to remember that they deserve the utmost compassion and love, it can be hard seeing someone you care for be afflicted with dementia, so when needed for you and also for them don’t be hesitant to ask for help through a same day online psychiatrist.