Adam's Doomsday Diary

Day 2,099. A Tuesday.

I always thought beginnings were tough, I never really thought about endings. I was nineteen then. Took a year off a schooling to “find myself”, little did I know that I would have so much more time to find who I really am. Adam. I hate my name. Nobody ever uses it. I hate being here. I hate being alive. I always thought that people back then were unlucky. I’m the unlucky one. Why am I still here? The last person, if you can even call them that, I saw was 48 days ago. I wish I was taken even then. I’m not even sure it’s Tuesday. I look down at my heart-shaped locket. I WISH I DIDN’T MAKE IT THIS FAR!

Day 2,051

I cannot believe it! I saw someone! Well, barely. She had her back to me and she looked clean, weirdly clean. I looked around, it didn’t seem like a trap. I’ve played enough video games and watched enough movies to know how to live out here. I walked over to her. She was kneeling down facing toward an old shopping cart. She wore an old wedding dress, it was torn but sparkling white. I tried to make my presence known by shouting “HELLO”. She stopped, practically freezing. She then slowly looked at me. The front of her dress was covered in blood. She was eating an animal that looked to still be moving. The look in her eye frightened me. Everything else was icing on the cake. She saw my locket and screamed “LOCKET MINE”. I just ran, limped back to my little hidey hole. I missed people I thought. I guess not that much.

Day 1,806

I haven’t seen anyone in a long time. I don’t even know how long. I keep this journal so I can look, and so can you, but it pains me to look back. I look down at my heart-shaped locket. Dinner was a smallmouth bass, I think. I didn’t really care for fishing before this shit but I ran out of the beef jerky we got and I was hungry. I remember going fishing with my dad when I was 7 or 8. I felt bad hurting the fish. I felt worse not eating though. I hate fish. I wish I learned how to cook. Maybe one day I will learn. Probably not. The only thing I can really do here is walk, and I can’t even do that right.

Day 1,104

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I think I broke my foot. I thought I found a good generator and enough gas but I dropped the generator on my foot. That hurt like a son of a bitch. I just wanted to play a game. I found a PS2 some days ago. All the cords, a controller, and a few games. Why did I have to try this. I don’t have a medical degree and I’ve only ever broken a toe. I hope this heals.

Day 956

I really thought the foliage would take hold of everything faster. All the apocalyptic shit I used to watch. I thought Earth would get it’s revenge. It’s taking a lot longer than I thought. I went to an old graveyard, it almost looked like it hadn’t been serviced in only a month. Maybe it was fake grass. I also went in a house today. It still feels weird walking into the homes where people once lived. Feels wrong. I did find a PS2 though. I also found a DVD of The Purge. That’s what that movie was called. I didn’t grab it though. I really wished I was more of a do it yourselfer before this. I’ll look for a generator soon. Maybe figure that out.

Day 791

I never knew laundry could get worse. I always hated doing laundry. At my parent’s house, it was easy, but it still sucked. When I moved out on my own, it was worse going to a laundromat. Who the hell carries quarters or cash anywhere? Looking back, that was easy living. Now, I just find a nice large rock, bring whatever soap I can find and scrub. It’s a good workout at least. Almost everything I do is a workout though. I wish I could just have a day to myself. I miss movies. I miss electricity. I miss people. I miss you. I look down at my heart-shaped locket.

Day 618

I tried… I tried hanging myself. Haha. Day 618 and this is the first time I tried ending it. The rope I found was too short. I chickened out anyways. Am I stronger to keep going or stronger to know when I know my limits? I wanted to find myself. Nobody told me what it would be like to find yourself and hate what you see. Nobody. I hate that word.

Day 610

It’s been 156 days since I last wrote in here. I am still alive. They’re not. You’re not. It hasn’t been great without you the last 156 days. I know you liked reading these so it made sense for me to continue. Do you still read them? I hope so, but I don’t think so. I know you didn’t like regrets, but I have so many. I wish we didn’t go. I never cared for beef jerky. Who cries when they’re writing about beef jerky. I guess I do now. I look down at my heart-shaped locket. I wish you were here or I were there.

Day 454

This dystopian time ain’t too bad. I got me a nice girl. Rachel, I am not writing this for you. Please stop reading these. I write this for me. I like to look back to on my journey. Hell, maybe if the world or currency ever comes back into play, I can sell my story. Is Oprah still alive? Maybe she will have a new show. Maybe I’ll get a new car or whatever that joke was. I never thought I would like reading. I found a novelization of the film Catwoman. I was always a comic guy but I remember that movie sucked. The book was entertaining enough. Good fire starter too. Rachel and I explored an old Target this morning. We’re going to go back there tomorrow morning. There were a few boxes of beef jerky. I don’t think that goes bad that quick. There was a couple there. They said they had enough beef jerky and would watch it for us. I am skeptical but I trust Rachel’s instincts. I look at your heart-shaped locket. Why do you wear jewelry anymore? Why did you take that? Why do you love me? Please read this part and this part only. Please provide answers. Thank you.

Day 365

I told her I loved her. She said I was stupid. That hurt but then she smiled. I felt no more pain. I found a heart-shaped locket in my first 100 days of this shit. I thought it was cool and maybe I could trade it for something cool. I gave it to her. She cried. I was scared. I haven’t seen her cry since we buried Eric. I felt bad, but again she smiled. I was trying to find myself before all this. After this went down, I didn’t think I would find me, let alone her. A year since all of this began. I guess a lot can happen in a year. I still can’t believe you put that on. Oh yeah, I know you read these. STOP! I love you! OKAY REALLY STOP!

Day 115

I met a girl. I actually met a brother and a sister. Eric and Rachel. Eric was old. Like really old. I didn’t think he was her brother but that is what she said. Rachel is 4 years older than me. I like her. It would be weird to ask her out. “Hey, I know there is only me and your old ass brother, but would you like to eat this old apple I found”. Who said romanticism died in the apocalypse? I guess I’ll just be honest. Wish me luck!

Day 68

Being alone is weird. I liked being alone before this but now it’s just strange. I now am pretty sure my family didn’t make it. I have seen some people but I keep to myself. People got weird with this almost immediately. It reminded me of that movie where there is one day a year of no crime. What the hell was that called? I miss the internet. It came out a couple years ago. Damn. I’ll think of it eventually. OH. I also found a heart-shaped locket. I thought it was cool. Maybe I can trade somebody for something with it. I’ll hold onto it for now.

Day 1

Well, beginnings are tough. Yesterday, September 30th, 2015. A Wednesday. The world ended. Unlike every movie I’ve ever seen and book I’ve heard about, the government did try to warn us of the impending doom. They couldn’t explain why, but they did try to warn us. Only 98 people from my city survived. I didn’t hear the worldwide numbers but I know most people are gone. A lot of people left my city. A lot of people were leaving my city before this. Just not in the same way. I know this isn’t the most descriptive of what happened, but I honestly was not paying too much attention to the news before all this shit. Don’t shoot the messenger. Just enjoy my Doomsday Diary. **Copyright pending