Evil and GOD

Day in and day out, Duck, who was nicknamed that because she would always waddle slowly doing her normal routine: Waking up, going to school, coming back home, doing homework, and chores. She never showed a zest for life. She lived inside of her own bubble. On the weekend, she attended church, practically all day on Sundays. Duck was a PK (Preacher's Kid). She would sit tirelessly listening to sermons and her parents’ teachings that she became numb. Her life was humdrum and sad. She was simply bored. She did not receive all the attention she really wanted or needed. She did receive a hug daily so she felt loved, but only through affection rather than parental guidance, discipline, support, and other role model behaviors. She felt her siblings were the apple of her parent's eye. She often asked herself, “Do my family really know me?” And thought to herself, I bet they can’t tell me my favorite candy, favorite color, favorite movie, favorite sports team, or whether or not I even like sports at all. Can they even see me, who (or what) am I to them? I wonder do they wish they wouldn’t have had me. You know, stopped after my brother and sister. I mean they had the perfect setup, a boy and a girl. That’s an American dream for a family wanting kids, right?

Her parents, and her two older siblings -who were twins-(Lizzie and Lonnie) lived at 666 Swamp Lane, beside the still waters of Grover Lake. They were not a social family outside of the church because her parents were always involved with the duties of the ministry. So, not only Sundays, Duck was in service on Wednesday nights. That was when Bible study sessions were held. And she was in attendance at Sunday night prayer meetings that were often held at other parishioners’ homes.

She was a freshman (ninth grade) in high school. She loved her life [around school] because she felt free, able to be herself. She could mingle with friends that she would not get to see outside of school or at church services. There were no expectations put on her. And most of all, Duck was not compared to her older siblings. That was surprising because the twins were quite the achievers. They were recognized for great accomplishments during their high school career. Lizzie and Lonnie were seniors. Lizzie, captain of the cheerleading squad for three years, and Lonnie was the star, very popular football quarterback. They both received awards for academic achievements, both were on the homecoming court: Lonnie was winner up for the king’s court and Lizzie was the homecoming queen. And, yes, they both had already been accepted into college. One of the highest prestigious colleges on the planet, nonetheless. Being they were so popular, there was not any room for anyone to lean their attention to Duck. This set just fine with her, the less time spent under the microscope at school -like home- worked out wonderfully for her. The school was Duck’s outlet.

Duck was seeing a young man [only] at school. He was a sophomore. She knew her parents would not let him come over to the house. They felt she was not old enough, or mature enough, especially for boys. And they would definitely freak out to know that he was ‘an older boy’ as they would say.

Because of her parents’ strict rules, she sought affection from him anytime and anywhere. This man was young, but he was mature for his age. He really wanted to get to know her, talk to her, go slow. But unfortunately, Duck did not seize the moment. Their time was so limited she didn’t want to waste it with a bunch of conversation. Being that he never refused her physical affection she really thought he cared for her until he asked another young woman to the prom. This devastated her even more than life itself. She grew bitter, resentful, and angry inside. The only words that ran through her mind were, "This too shall pass, and keep looking toward the hills, that's where all of your help comes from." She never understood what that meant; she just heard it spoken by her parents whenever something went wrong in someone's life; or from parishioners who would call for prayer because they were disheartened. Now, she was the disheartened one.

When she got home, this particular evening, she did not do any of her chores. Nothing routine was about this evening. At dusk, she went out to Grover Lake and took a dive. She swam far away to where her home was not in sight. She waded in the lake for a while and entertained all the hurt she encountered from the young man’s decision to invite someone else to the prom. Actually, she entertained everything negative thought that filled her brain. . When she returned home, she was not the same. She was mean and evil; rebellious and cantankerous; and revengeful and unmanageable. She had truly become the proverbial ugly Duckling.

The next day, at school, people who had ever teased her, or bullied her, suddenly experienced weird accidents. Some bumped into locker doors, as if not to see they were open. And, some students could not open their lockers. Another student tripped over a classmate’s bookbag and then their shoelaces; showing excessive clumsiness. This was very strange because this student was otherwise very organized and precise. A bit of a goody two shoes. Other classmates became ill with a 24-hour bug, who were mostly athletes and very healthy, and the young man’s prom date, well let’s just say her hair color turned out to match her dress instead of her natural color. She was so humiliated to go with him to the prom she stood him up. Strange mysterious coincidences started to surface almost like a daily ritual. No one could figure out what was happening. Duck’s behavior and these strange phenomena continued for the remainder of the year.

During the summer, Lizzie and Lonnie got summer jobs, at the same place. And, they were already being recognized as the Employees of the Months. They both were awarded internships, paid, at that. It seemed effortless how good luck just rolled on their laps. Everything came easy for them. How is it that we are all cut from the same cloth, yet fate treats us massively different? Duck thought to herself. Summer was no playground for Duck. She got a job, but it was a cashier and custodian at a local convenient store. Yes, that her parents ask one of the parishioners to give her to keep her busy. “Idle minds are the devil workshops” she remembered them saying.

Duck was a good worker, but she hated the work that she had to do, and she enjoyed seeing her friends come to the store. Even if it was for a short period of time, she enjoyed the fellowship with them.

As the end of summer was slowly approaching, Duck’s friends and classmates slowly stopped coming to the store because they had either relocated and/or enrolled in college. She begins resenting her siblings. No one ever compared them to her or gave her a reason to be jealous. They loved her and tried to offer her support as they were growing up, but Duck refused. Why? Because she never wanted to listen to what others had to say. She couldn’t wait until they went off to college.

Well, the day had come. It was time to take the twins to college. Duck comes downstairs dressed all in black except for bright orange tennis shoes. Her fingernails were painted black, very gothic appearance. Duck’s behavior was not the only thing resembling the proverbial ugly duckling now. She favored a black duck. She was a very pretty girl, with long brunette hair. She had dark, thick eyebrows and long eyelashes. Her walk was always a slow waddle, with a straight posture and prideful strut. Despite how beautiful she was, she lacked confidence. Her attitude worsened. The twins were really concerned to be leaving after witnessing this change. But their parents reassured them things would be alright.

After they returned to Grover Lake from dropping Lizzie and Lonnie off, Duck felt really alone and desolate. She swam out until her house was not in sight. She waded in the water for a while and swam back. This was her pattern when things got too desperately dark and dreary for her. She swam back to shore with her clothes drenched and draped with black seaweed and moss she had gathered from the depth of the water. She entered the back door so her parents could not see her, but her mom was coming out of her bedroom, when she screeched, “OH MY GOODNESS! DUCK WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

Wow, she thought to herself. That is the first time I felt like some attention has been given to me in years. Aha! she thought. That’s the answer. If I continue to do things that will shock them, then I can get the attention that the Lizzie and Lonnie got. That aha moment was very irrational not to mention dangerous as Duck would soon see.

Duck closed herself from the world more so than before. She realized she had been relying on others to bring her happiness, joy, and comfort. She never encountered self-peace, preservation, solace within herself. [Giving others that responsibility is very unhealthy. It relinquishes power over your own personal emotions]

But what does Duck do? Once she hit the maturity age, well what the state classifies as the age of maturity-18 years old-she decided to venture out on her own totally unaware of the dangers she would face. She was so ill-prepared to deal with the real world and its woes. She sets off immediately after her 18th birthday, leaving a note for her parents; who finds it a day later. Duck left with the intent to never return, back to that home, that family, that life. She set out on a destination that only God knew where it was going to end.

Day in and day out, night after night, taking peddling jobs, here and there, with nowhere stable to lay her head; she stumbled upon an alley, adjacent to a busy restaurant, not too far from where her last cash n' carry job was located. This made her think it was a safe side of town. It wasn't the best lit alley but it was quiet enough for her to get rest; just until morning, and then she would move on.

Right before curling up along this lonely, dim-lit street, she found herself starring and gazing into the heavens asking where she can find love. She could not grasp that she had no one to love. Duck was attractive on the outside, but her heart and personality were pretty ugly. [The true beauty of a person is on the inside.] She was totally unaware that the one true love was with who she was looking up.

Soon as she settled down attempting to sleep, terrible rustling sounds came from behind the garbage cans, the side of the dumpster, and from the cracks in the sidewalk. Duck set up! She looked around from side to side. Her heart beat frantically, her eyes bulged and expanded as wide as her eyelids extended. Her mouth opened with slow salivation, tears welled in her eyes, and her hands trembled with perspiration and in fear. She tried to figure out what the noises were. Then without any more anticipation; rodents, raccoons -and the like- came out of the woodwork and walked toward her; creeping with ease, being cautious to her next move. Shocked, awestruck, and paralyzed Duck could not move. The critters grew closer and closer to her because she smelled of the trash escalating from the dumpster she chose to lay beside instead of the warmth of her own bed. "AWWWW, GET OUT, GO AWAY!" She screamed as loud as she could, as she was fanning them away with her hands and kicking at them but it was no use. They pounced right in her very space. They hissed, spit, and arched their backs as they steadily drew next to her. They began nipping at her legs, ankles, and feet ripping holes in her pants and even pulling at her shoes, untying her shoelaces. Then, as if things could not get any worse, bats encircled her head coming close enough to where she could actually see their beaming green eyes and fanged teeth. They scratched her forehead and scalp with their nails. And; oh, their sound! They were screeching with a higher note than that of a soprano, an eighth octave perhaps. The sound was so piercing that Duck covered her ears and closed her eyes to protect her senses from being damaged. She closed her eyes so tight she could feel the veins in her head tightening up and protruding.

While in a fetal position, still holding her hands over her ears and her eyes tightly closed, she was totally unaware that there was a man wrapped in layers of clothes hovering over her casting a shadow. The sounds of the pest had lowered into a whisper, and then gradually stopped. Connecting to the still of the night she felt comfortable enough to open her eyes. As she slowly opened one eye, then the other, she began to raise her head and sit up. As she attempted to sit in an upright position her head bumped into the knees of this man who appeared homeless. His face was unshaven, his appearance was not kept up and he was very rugged-looking. His clothes were tattered and torn. He slid down the wall of the dumpster, beside her, till he met the ground. She told him how she ended up there, but as he began to talk of his presence, she started to yawn. She was so tired and exhausted. He extended his arms inviting her into his space. Before he could say anything further she gravitated into his arms without any concerns and resorted to what was familiar. As she laid her head into his chest, she began to think, he's homeless like me so what could be the harm? We have each other. This is our commonality. If only she would have been more alert to allow him to talk, not been blinded by his hug, she may have heard some red flag warning signs to prevent what happened to her next. He started stroking her mangled hair assuring her that she was safe with him. He encouraged her to fall asleep and offered his legs as her pillow to rest her head. Without hesitation, she laid her head on his lap. She was hurting from the scratches, nips, and pinches. Grinning behind his matted beard he knew he had Duck exactly where he wanted her. He breathed into her mouth as she laid with it slightly opened causing her to fully fall asleep, or pass out. Hours later she woke up in an abandoned building with boarded windows. An awful shade of green paint lined the walls which resembled the color of the vomit that spewed from her mouth as soon as she realized she was in danger. When he walked into the room where she set strapped to a chair, in bondage, he leaned in to talk to her. She instantly recognized his voice, but not him. She looked at him, troubled and confused, thinking to herself, what happened to the gentleman, the kind spirit who had befriended me? In a cocky voice he said, "Oh, it is I." He had seen this confused look on young girls' faces many times before.

Duck could not believe what was happening. Along with his voice, she recognized his beaming green eyes. They were very similar to the bats that attacked her. She mentally asked herself, “Had I come in contact with an actual vampire?” She slowly became paralyzed again with the very familiar feeling of fear. Looking up, gazing at the ceiling, she asked, "What have I done?" She thought she had rather become the food for the rodents than to continue to endure time with him. He untied her from the chair and walked her over to a bathtub filled with water and alcohol. He made her undress and sit down in this water. He wanted this to burn and sting her open wounds and scars so that she will know what will happen if she tried to escape.

The homeless man, whom she thought was a nice man had manipulated her. It turns out he really was a bad man, very evil. He preyed on young runaways when they came into his territory or crossed his path. He would lure them like a magnet with this despicable charm. It worked every time. Duck soon realized that he cared nothing about her. Disappointed again by someone who she thought cared for her she felt blindsided, hoodwinked, and bamboozled, to say the least. Staring continuously at the ceiling, she whispers, "Who is this? What did I do to deserve this? Why do I keep ending up with the wrong person? What am I doing wrong?" Again, not realizing that each time she looked toward the heavens that’s where her true answers were. That is where they existed all the time. She started to remind herself of her parents always telling her, "Look toward the hills (look upward) from where your help comes from." She never understood it, until now! But then…SLAP across the face came his hard hand, "What are you whispering?" He asked.

She blurts out, “It's God!” He is in disbelief that she is shouting at him and instructs her to be quiet. She looks dead into his piercing green eyes and with authority said, “God lives high as the hills. He is true love. He conquers evil. The evil was the pest, rodents, and now, you! NO! I won’t be quiet! He loves me in spite of myself and what I have done. This is why I keep looking up.” Feeling better and stronger from her internal revelation she bargains with God (as we all do when we are faced with troubles, trials, and dangers) "Lord if you get me out of this, I will serve you the rest of my life!" She sits whispering this to herself over and over. She continued the talk with God and realized that she has to listen with attentive ears, and eyes, and understand that only people who love her as He does will not harm her. Even though blood gushed from her lip, she continued reciting and whispering encouraging lessons and sermons she heard from her parents, including; “This too shall pass.”

The next day the vampire brings in a plethora of women. They had regular bodies, and were dressed decently; but over their faces, he had them wearing masks that resembled the pests and rodents. Duck suddenly realized; it was these girls; he had trained to attack me.

The others who had walked into the room gathered around him to receive instructions as to what to do with Duck. Although their faces resembled the pest, she could see something in each of their eyes that was not mean evil after all, rather fearful, intimidated, and restless. They too had become enslaved to this evil man. She knew it was now or never for her to show them the love of God. If ever she had to support the bargain she had just made, the time was now. She had to rescue herself and the other prisoners who were in the room. As they started to move closer to her in the same manner as they did earlier [in the alley] instead of trembling with fear she trembled with strength, power, and resilience. She did not close her eyes or cover her ears, rather opened them and her mouth shouting with exclamation, "NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST US SHALL PROSPER!" When she exclaimed this, the knots loosened from her wrist and ankles immediately. As the others continued to move closer toward her-with harmful intent-Duck embraced them. Yes, she gave them... a hug. The one thing she identified as love. She realized then, that a hug has purpose and value. It has to be embraced with God’s love, otherwise, it can be misunderstood. Oh, how she sobbed as she watched the masks fall off their faces. Their real faces were beautiful. Once she released them, they all turned toward the vampire and walked toward him in unity. He backed up from them until he disintegrated into the cracks of the walls never to be heard from again. They all thanked her for her enormous amount of courage. Feeling nervous to connect with the outside world again, they walked out into the streets. People looked, pointed, gasped with amazement, and immediately called 9ll.

Duck took a deep sigh of relief and looked toward the heavens and thanked God. Then she looked around the old building for one last time. As she was about to walk out the door, she saw a letter. She opens it and it reads, “Return to Grover Lake. Swim out until your house is not in sight. Wade in the water for a while then return home.” She was baffled. This is exactly what she had done to get in this situation. But, without further debating with herself, she did exactly what the note stated because she felt it was God ordering her. She returned to Grover Lake. She swam out until her house was not in sight. She waded in the water for a while and swam back. But this time when she stepped out of the water, she felt relieved, revived, and redeemed. She walked into the house drenched wet and her parents did what? Yes. Hugged her. Her mother exclaimed, “OH MY BABY YOU LOOK LIKE A SWAN!” The tattered dirty clothes she had on had miraculously turned into a gleaming and sparkling white. It was as if Grover Lake had chlorine mixed in it. From that point on, she was called, “Swan”. She liked it better than Duck so the name stuck. Swan continued to embrace her parents, then went and changed her clothes and got into the comfort of her own bed. Her parents called Lizzie and Lonnie and told them about the new change in their sister. They were overjoyed.

In the fall of the year, she got accepted into college. There was a forum where the freshmen students were welcomed. She happened to be standing beside a young man who was a sophomore. He stated his name and she stated hers. Then she said, “But you can call me, ‘Swan.' You don’t recognize me, do you?” She asked.

“No. Should I?”

“I’m Duck, the girl that used to live near Grover Lake? My father was a preacher?”

“What? Are you serious? No. I didn’t recognize you. You are beautiful. Well, you were pretty then too, but something is really beautiful about you now.”

“Yes. Would you like to go somewhere and talk?”

“Yes. Definitely. And I know something has really changed about you now, because talking was furthest from your mind back then.

She had found her old friend and apologized for her behavior. They spent quality time together having lots of conversations. All of the things (and people) she ran from, helped her in her darkest hours. They continued to date and she eventually brought him home to meet her parents.