Melting Moments
A microfiction entry for D.K. Shepard's Keep It 100 challenge
Edna was finally warm: the communal flame of one hundred candles would do that.
The tuneless chorus of "Happy Birthday" bathed her in love, from the varied pitch of children, grandchildren and greater, singing.
What a legacy.
She hoped they wouldn't ask her to blow them out, the candles. She'd say no. She couldn't spare the puff.
Conversations buzzed, indistinct. Eyes closed, she thought of who was left her age: only Ted, her childhood bear. His ears, like hers, worn-out; threadbare. And inanimate.
"She's sleeping." Sasha. Granddaughter. "I think..."
Neither asleep nor dead, Edna thought. But every time she closed her eyes, it was risky. She wasn't scared. Smiling, she revelled in the living moment, knowing, like candles on a cake, they were melting away.
125 words
This is an entry for D.K. Shepard's unofficial challenge which you can read about here:
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Exes
Bethan Today's the day where I might finally get some answers. These past weeks have been...unsettling. I feel...shaken. But also strangely optimistic. I don't know. I always hoped that I would find Laney and as days turned into weeks, months, years, I wondered if I'd ever get straight again, in my head. I'm not really sure what that means. I suppose it's about closure, about being in a place that's sure.
By Rachel Deemingabout a year ago in Fiction
Comments (16)
I really loved this. I was able to inhabit Edna from her POV, and that was magic. I myself would nominate this for a top story. (Is that a thing?)
This is beautiful. I really love how you incorporated the flame analogy to her life ending, and that line about her not being able to spare the puff is so central to the theme, I think. Wanting to hold on, to preserve everything, to stay as comforted as she feels in that moment, yet the time is running out regardless. Very poignant, and excellently written. Congrats on your win!!
I love this sweet story… well deserved placing✅💖
This is such a lovely micro, Rachel! Congrats on second place in D.K.'s challenge! 🎉
Back to say congratulations!
Such a gorgeous tale!✅
This is so beautiful Rachel. You built such a compelling, heartwarming atmosphere!! I adore this piece!
You got me with this, Rachel. The singing, the Teddy Bear, and then that final paragraph. So much story and emotional impact in just a few words! This is really impressive work! I was so caught up in the scene you created I totally forgot that this was an entry for the challenge. Very honored that you entered such a fantastic piece!
Very, very impressive micro, Rachel! Good luck with the challenge!
This was emotional on every level. Heartfelt and lonely. inspiring and sad.
Oh gosh. This was perfect.
This felt so emotional. "Neither alseep nor dead". I especially loved that!
Great last line!
100 and couldn’t bear the “puff” to blow out candles - loved that line. As usual, great job.
Oh, but this was quite bittersweet, Rachel. A fine mist of tears have managed to make their way over to this side of the pond.
aw this beautiful, poignant and poetic, chummychumleychum! we can all but hope for such a future!