Werking Gurls: A Sitcom (#1)

The club was hopping, lady balls were neatly taped, and the tips flowed. It was a great night to be a werking gurl at Donna's Haus. If you showed up, of course.

"Hey Betty," Donna called out from behind the bar.

"Hey Donna," Betty Dicker-Downs, took a seat at the bar. She just came off stage, rattled from a powerhouse dance routine. Her pink wig was crooked, and sweat caused her mascara to run.

"Great show. Hey, have you seen Onyxxx?" Donna poured Betty a shot.

Betty threw the whiskey back and wiped her face with a napkin, causing her eyeshadow to bleed down her cheeks.

Before Betty could answer, her bestie and HBIC, Michelle Mann, came up with the sharp click of heels. "The newbie is crying in the dressing room. Very unprofessional if you ask me."

Betty shook her head at Michelle as the queen took a seat at the bar. "Please tell me you asked poor Onyxxx what was troubling her?"

"You know damn well she didn't," Donna gruffed, pouring Michelle a shot. "Only thinks of herself."

Michelle's skin had been painted crimson. Tucked into the red curls of her wig was a set of horns. The she-devil slammed her shot and said, "you know it." Michelle proceeded to the stage, blowing her loving audience a kiss.

"What a bitch," Donna commented.

"You're the one who hired her," Betty mused.

"You're right," Donna sighed, pouring a third shot. "Take this to Onyxxx. The only people allowed to cry in this club are the patrons and me. Girlfriend needs to get it together before she's up."

Betty looked at her watch. She had precisely twelve minutes to calm Onyxxx down and get her ready for the stage. This was going to be a project.

Betty was out of breath by the time she reached the dressing room's top step. She took a deep breath before loosening her corset. As she walked into the room holding a shot in one hand, she used the other to fan herself ferociously.

"Everything okay, my love?" Betty found Onyxxx sobbing on a bench in the corner of the room. None of the other queens could be bothered to comfort her. They were too self-absorbed to even consider it.

"No," Onyxxx whined into her wig, afraid to reveal her face. "My stupid ass boyfriend dumped me."

"Oh honey," Betty patted Onyxxx on the shoulder. "Welcome to dating in drag. None of these men see us as anything more than a joke. It's just something you'll need to get over."

"You're… not huuuelping," Onyxxx moaned.

Betty pursed her glittery lips. "Did he give you a reason?"

"Yes," Onyxxx sat up, squeezed Betty tight, and cried on her shoulder. "He left me because I told him I'm non-binary."

"Oh, sweet baby queen," Betty patted Onyxxx between the shoulders. "If he can't accept you for who you are, that's his problem. We'll love and respect your identity here. Don't you worry about that?"

Betty made a mental note to remember Onyxxx's pronouns. She also reminded herself to tell Donna to avoid using colloquialisms such as 'girlfriend' when it came to Onyxxx.

"You really mean it?" Onyxxx lifted their dark eyes to Betty. They were an absolute tragedy. Their makeup had run away, and their wig was covered in snot. Betty couldn't let Onyxxx hit the stage looking so frumpy.

"I absolutely mean it. Your identity will be respected at Donna's. I'll make sure of it. But first, why don't we get you ready for your performance? Unless you planned on doing a little heartbreak ditty, we should probably clean you up."

"Well," Onyxxx broke down again. "I was going to Lip sync to One and Only by Adele, but now I think I'll have to find something different. I don't know if I can…."

"No," Betty cut her off. "You will still do that song. Don't sing it for some shitty boy. Sing it for you. Be your one and only and show the world who you are."

Onyxxx pulled their lips into a half smile before hugging Betty. "You're right. Thanks, Betty!"

"You're welcome," Betty gladly accepted the hug. "Now let's go fuck up that pretty face of yours."

The queens headed to a large vanity in the corner of the room. As Betty painted Onyxxx to look a little happier, Betty had a thought…

"Absolutely not," Michelle told Betty as they were backstage watching Onyxxx perform. "I'd rather spend a night with a Trump supporter."

"First of all, that's disgusting. Secondly, at one point, you were a queen coming of age. We should help them. Besides, a weekend outside of Chicago would be good for all of us," Betty insisted.

Michelle rolled her eyes so hard it caused her blue contacts to shift, giving her an alien-looking double pupil. "Fine, we can take your stupid little road trip but that doesn't mean I'm going to be nice to the newbie. She's tragic, and you know it."

"They're," Betty asserted. "Onyx uses they/them pronouns. And Onyxxx isn't tragic. They're young and broke like we were ten years ago. Give them a damn chance Michelle."

"Why do I feel like this will become a thing?" Michelle ripped off her eyelashes before walking up the stairs. Halfway up the steps, she turned back and shouted to Betty, "I don't understand these kids and their pronouns, but you see potential in them, so I'll try my best to be nice, but bitch, I'm not making any promises."

Betty nodded, laughing as she turned back towards Onyxxx, who was eating up the stage. Onyxxx might be a new queen, but they certainly had the spirit. Betty was pleasantly surprised at the intensity of the baby queen's lip sync.

The next week…

"Thanks for taking me on a road trip?" Onyxx said joyfully from the backseat.

"No," Michelle rolled her eyes from the passenger seat. "I'm being forced to take you on a road trip. There's a difference."

"Michelle," Betty snapped a finger, taking a hand off the wheel. "Don't be rude to my baby."

"Your baby?" Michelle scoffed. "Interesting choice for a drag mother. You'd think the baby queen would have chosen to learn from someone with more esteem, but it is what it is."

"Could you both be my drag mom?" Onyxxx's cherub-like face lit up with a smile.

"No," Michelle spat, lowering her sunglasses off her wig to shield her eyes from the harsh morning sun. "Same-sex parents are a disgrace to society."

"Coming from a man in a dress," Betty shook her head. "Michelle. You know I love you, but if you're going to be Debra Downer the entire trip, I will leave you on the roadside."

"Whatever," Michelle crossed her arms. She spoke with a snotty tone. "Fine, we can both be your drag mom, but that doesn't mean I'm a lesbian with her."

"As if I'd date you," Betty chuckled. "You might be a pretty queen, but beneath that mug, there's a real…."

Betty didn't have time to finish. The conversation was so distracting that the trio didn't see the motorcycle.

As Betty whipped the car to avoid hitting the biker, Onyxxx's wig flew off. It tangled in the wind and blew away.

"You're supposed to compliment hot guys," Michelle gasped. "Not try to fucking kill them!"

"I'm sorry," Betty took a breath, trying to steady herself. "I was distracted by the thought of being with you. So disturbing."

"Girls," Onyxxx interjected. "I don't mean to get in between your little argument here, but that biker is following us. He looks pretty mad, hot as hell but mad."

Betty stepped on the gas pedal, hoping to escape the ire of the biker daddy.

Thankfully, the queens made it to their hotel, seemingly losing the biker somewhere along the highway.

"You begged me to leave Chicago to stay here?" Michelle's black lipstick twisted in horror.

"Yeah," Onyxxx raised their eyebrows and clenched their jaw. "This place is haunted."

"It was the cheapest place I could find," Betty shivered, looking at the creepy estate.

The mansion was old, grey, and falling to pieces. There was a thin, scraggly man with yellow eyes holding a candle in the window on the second floor.

"Maybe this was a mistake," Betty took a sharp step backward toward the car.

"Obviously, Mary," Michelle followed behind. "Where did you find this place, Craigslist?"

"Yes," Betty gulped as the thin figure left the window.

"Craigslist died when they stopped allowing people to post for hookups," Michelle got in the car. "You two can die here, but I'm gone."

"No, I'm too young and beautiful to die," Onyxxx dramatized with a hand over their forehead and a swagger backward. "I think the old lady is right. We should go back to Chicago."

Betty was bummed, but she got in the car. She took the passenger seat. Michelle's cranky ass could drive.

"What's wrong?" Onyxxx placed a hand on the sequin strap covering Betty's shoulders.

At first, Betty didn't speak. She opened the visor and looked in the mirror. Silently, she pulled off her eyelashes, undid her wig, and started cleaning the makeup off with wipes.

Onyxxx's shoulders sank as she watched her new friend's sparkle fade.

"I know you planned this trip to make me feel better," Onyxxx said. "Betty, I know we've only known each other a few weeks, but I think you're cool. I think you're both amazing. If I had a sliver of your talent…."

"I doubt you'll get there," Michelle quipped, "but we can help you try."

Betty, who looked more like Devon, felt her heart skip at Michelle's sentiment.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up," Betty turned and grabbed both of their hands. Michelle never drove with both hands on the wheel. "Onyxxx. Thanks for asking us to be your drag mom. I think we both needed it."

Michelle shot Betty a severe look.

"Betty, don't start," Michelle cleared her throat. "I'm driving. I can't handle your bleeding heart right now."

"It's amazing you two are friends," Onyxxx commented. "You're so different."

Betty was about to go into a long, maternal speech about how we should all embrace our differences and how it was the whole point of the trip. Yet Betty couldn't speak. She could only point a long, flaming pink nail toward the window next to Michelle.

"Bi…bi…bi…," Betty shudder.

"Bisexual," Michelle rolled her head, causing her dark curls to bounce. "We get it. What's the point."

"Biker," Onyxxx shouted with all the fury of a scream queen.

Michelle looked to her left, and there he was, biker daddy. He was driving on the side of the road to keep up with the trio. His face was severe, yelling at them to stop.

"What should we do?" Michelle squeaked.

"I think I just came untucked," Betty howled in fear.

"I got this," Onyxxx shook their head and scooted over. They rolled down the window and shouted. "What's your deal?"

Then, the biker daddy took one hand off the handlebar and reached behind his back.

"Oh shit, he's got a gun," Michelle pushed on the gas, but the car wouldn't go any faster.

"This is not how I wanted to die," Betty cried out. "Dear God, I'm sorry for all those times I hooked up with a chaser behind the dumpster at Donna's."

"You did what?" Michelle scolded Betty.

It was too late. Biker daddy was already aiming for Onyxxx. Except, it wasn't a gun at all.

"Hey, cutie," Biker daddy winked at Onyxxx. "I got your wig. It nearly sent me flying off the road."

"Oh my god," Onyxxx beamed, seeing little hearts everywhere. "I only have two wigs. You saved my life. How can I repay you?"

"How about we pull over, and I'll take you for a ride," Biker daddy winked to Onyxxx.

After Onyxxx took off with the handsome stranger, Betty felt a nervous tickle in her throat.

"Do you think we should have let her go like that?" Betty asked Michelle.

"Who cares?" Michelle shrugged. "They're head over heels for biker daddy, and I finally get some peace. It works for everyone."

"Always the optimist," Betty laughed.

The next Friday…

Donna was working the bar. It was extra slow, considering it was the weekend. Even worse, none of the drag queens had arrived, and showtime was in twenty minutes.

Donna was standing in the corner, biting her nails, when Betty, Michelle, and Onyxxx walked in. Betty first, looking like a neon daydream. She was followed by Michelle, who rocked a punk look and a Joan Jett wig. Last but not least was Onyxxx, who walked arm in arm with a handsome man in a leather jacket.

"Where have you been? I've been over here sweating!" Donna asked.

"It takes a while to look this gorgeous darling," Betty blew Donna a kiss before heading upstairs.

"Don't let her fool you. It took her five minutes to get ready," Michelle rolled her eyes. "Can't you tell?"

"Hey Donna," Onyxxx beamed, giving flirtatious glances back and forth between the man on her arm and the bartender.

"Hey, kid," Donna nodded. "Cute, but he's not allowed in the dressing room."

"Shoot," Onyxxx gave a nervous laugh. "I thought maybe…."

Donna, a tall, imposing woman with red curls, leaned forward with a stern look. "You thought wrong, kid. It's fine. You can live without him for a few minutes. Give your music to the DJ, and I'll get him settled in. How does the front row sound?"

"Sounds good to me," Vic kissed Onyxxx on the cheek.

About twenty minutes later, Vic sat at the table closest to the tiny stage. Disco lights stopped with the music as the room went dark. Vic took a sip of beer in anticipation.

Onyxxx took the sudden spotlight. They stood confidently with their hands on their hips. As the music started, a red pump tapped along, commanding the audience. Suddenly the music started, and Onyxxx was a free bird, flying across the stage in pure excitement.

Vic was at the table pumping his arm to the beat, "that's my they/them!"

Onyxxx had heard Vic, causing their cheeks to flash red behind heavy contouring.

Michelle and Betty were standing behind Vic. Michelle had startled him.

"That's not how you use pronouns," Michelle asserted, snapping in Vic's ear.

Betty slapped her best friend on the breastplate and said, "Stop it, sis. He's still learning. Just like you are."

Vic turned around with a big smile and pulled the queens in for a hug. Betty was excited, but Michelle groaned.

"Thanks for almost killing me," Vic shook their hands. "If you hadn't almost run me off the road, I would never have met Onyxxx. They're so great."

"You're welcome," Michelle cackled. "Next time, I'll finish the job."

"Ignore her," Betty glared at Michelle. "She means well, but she permanently has a stick in her ass. I'm Betty, and this is Michelle."

"I might be the one with a stick in my ass," Michelle looked at Vic. "But if you hurt our baby, you'll be the one getting the stick. Onyxxx is special, don't fuck this up."

"I won't," Victor assured.

Later that night…

"Well," Onyxxx said to Betty and Michelle. They were upstairs untucking. "What do you think?"

"About the boy or the tripping over your dress?" Michelle said harshly.

"I know I messed up," Onyxxx's eyes turned grey with sadness.

"You didn't mess up," Michelle softened. "You did exactly what you're supposed to do if you flub. Keep the show moving. You killed it. I'm a proud mom."

Onyxxx looked like they were about to cry.

"Awe," Betty gushed. "Look at my best Judy finding her heart."

"She never lost it," Onyxxx interjected, hugging a squeamish Michelle. "She's been hiding it, keeping it close for her friends."

"You wish," Michelle kissed Onyxxx on the cheek. She hugged Betty and said, "See you next weekend queens."

"Don't let her lie to you, Mary," Betty hugged Onyxxx, grabbing a rolling suitcase overstuffed with drag. A few flyaway wig hairs flapped behind as Betty rolled it down the stairwell. "Michelle, or Roger the ran rehind the rask, will get bored by Wednesday and call you for lunch by Thursday. Mark my words, baby queen. We'll see you before the week is over."

Onyxxx stood there with a heart full of love, friendship, and dreams. Their eyes twinkled with a future of possibilities. "I look forward to it," they said.

"Oh," Betty turned back. "I know our vacation didn't work out, but I booked you and Vic a trip out of town next weekend."

"Betty," Onyxxx chirped. "You didn't have to do that."

"I did. I can tell by your tone that you're worried about the last theycation I planned for you. But I promise this time will be different. I've given up on Craigslist. I booked you an Airbnb. Check your email. You'll find all the deets."

"I hope you've given up on your other sins too," Onyxxx gave Betty a silly look.

"No more hookups for me," Betty crossed her heart. "I'm going sober."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Onyxxx giggled. "Thanks again for everything, Mom."

Betty's heart swelled with all the love of Jesus, Buddha, and Aphrodite. Did that baby queen call her Mom? Being a drag mom was all Betty had ever wanted from being a werking gurl. Dreams did come true.