My Last Night

The human race had brought our planet to its knees. The air was toxic and the nothing would grow in the soil. We slowly moved indoors as our environment began to deteriorate. We became completely dependent on the hydroponic and animal factories which in turn meant that the corporation that owned them were able to completely control us. There was no more free will or choice, you did as you were told or you starved. Me, I was only 16 years old when the corporation decided to take me. I had what they declared to be desirable characteristics, long think hair, blue eyes, an above average height, and a delicate complexion. I would be part of the breeding program. A program designed by the corporation to keep the gene pool fresh for the elite. I would be taken to Renoir and sold off to the highest bidder.

I grew up in the east southern potato district. It wasn’t an easy life, lots of work but I was good at it and everyone I knew was there. My parents and little brother, my auntie and uncle, friends and, Michael. He lived in the apartment two doors down from ours and I always would find myself looking down the hall just to get a glimpse. He was two years older and when we were little, he would look out for me. If the Gibbons twins were harassing me, he made them go away, if I was hungry, he shared his rations with me. It’s not always a safe place in these cramped apartment buildings with dark corners and abandoned units. The lower tunnels that connect each building to each other can be epically dangerous. It’s where the guys who like to skip out on work go and where you can trade food rations for drugs and homemade moonshine which is why most people use the upper tunnels. The upper tunnels are patrolled by the elite’s scouts, looking for possible candidates for the breeding program.

The night I was told I was selected for the breeding program and was going to be taken to Renoir in the morning, I decided to go down there, to the lower tunnels. I figured my life was over anyway, what’s wrong with having a little fun before I go. Maybe I could get so messed up, they wouldn’t even want me anymore. I thought that I was going to wimp out and turn around but the closer I got to the stairwell the less I felt. It was strange this empty feeling, not caring what happened to me, not knowing what I would find. I only made it down two steps before someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, hard. They pulled so hard on my arm that it jerked my body around my face slammed straight into their chest. I screamed and yelled, “let me go”. I pounded my fist on their chest. It was no use. The company must have sent some sort of spies to keep an eye on me, stop me from doing anything stupid. I looked up with fresh tears stinging my eyes only to see his face, Michael.

What was he doing there, how did he know? It was the middle of the night and the hallways were empty. Had my parents discovered I was no longer in my bed and went looking for me? I wanted to be angry, I wanted to pull away but his arms warped around me. The warmth from his body was all I could feel now. This warm completely washed away all my anger all I wanted was to stay there, stay in his warmth. My legs collapsed and we slowly melted down to the floor. He never let go. We sat there in a lump on the floor, me softly crying into his shirt and him holding me. I’m not sure how long we sat there before I eventually lifted my head. He looked straight into my eyes and gently wiped a tear from my cheek. It was like gravity; I closed my eyes as my lips were drawn to his. As our lips touched my arms wrapped around the back of his neck. I pulled him in close and felt his grip on me tighten. There was an eagerness in my chest that just wanted to get closer, be held tighter. It was like time stopped and we were the only two people in the world.

It didn’t take long before I remembered what I had come down here to do and why. I withdrew from his embrace and backed away. It wasn’t fair. Why now? “It’s going to be ok”. The sound of his voice sent a sharp pain through my chest. I turned away, “no it’s not”. “Just talk to me, I’ll help you. Haven’t I always taken care of you?” I turn and looked into his eyes. Those deep brown eyes and felt the lump in my throat blocking the words. I could see how much he wanted to help and exactly how much cared. It didn’t matter, there was nothing he could do. I wanted to tell him but what good would it do? After debating it in my head I decided it would be best not to tell him. Spare him the pain of knowing there was nothing he could do or worse, sentencing our families to death by starvation in an attempt to change the inevitable. No, I would keep this to myself, he was going to find out soon enough anyway. “You’re right. I was nothing. I’m just so tired of having no control over my life. I was being stupid.” At least we could have this time, a few hours that were ours. We spent the rest of the night there on the floor in each other’s arms.

I can remember hearing the 7 am alarm ringing down the hallways and thinking it can’t be morning already. Michael helped me to my feet and we slowly walked toward my apartment, hand in hand. When we were about 10 feet from my door I stopped and lightly pulled on Michael’s arm. He turned and faced me. “I don’t think it’s a great idea if you accompany me to my doors. My parents aren’t going to be in the best mood and I really don’t want you to have to deal with that right now.” He agreed and lightly kissed my cheek. “But I’ll be watching to make sure you go in.” A slight smile found its way to my face as I turned and started to walk away. As I walked further away from Michael, I began to feel a tightness in my chest. I was only halfway back to my door when the euphoria of Michael and last night had faded. My eyes began to burn as I held back the tears that so desperately wanted to escape. It got harder and harder to breathe the closer I got to my door. “Only a few more steps” I kept telling myself, “You`re almost there. Remember what happens if you're not there when the scout shows up or if Michael really finds out the real reason you were out last night.” I wanted to look back and get one last look at him but couldn’t. It was hard enough making it to my door and he would be able to tell something was up. Finally, I reached the apartment door. I started to lift my hand to the handle but stopped. I took a deep breath in, closed my eyes willed myself through the door.

Before I even had a chance to close the door behind my mother had her hands wrapped around me. “I didn’t know what to think. We didn’t know where you went or if you were coming back, not that we would blame you.” “No mom I couldn’t do that to you and Dad.” I looked over my mother’s shoulder and saw Dad standing in the corner of the room. He was mostly covered in shadow but I could see his eyes. He had a strange look in them. It was anger but I couldn’t tell if he was angry that I had left and not said anything or angry that I can back. “The scout will...... he’ll be here......” He wiped a tear away from his cheek. “The Elite Scout will be here any minute now.” He stood in place, unable to move for fear of losing what little control he was managing to hold on to. “Know that I love you and that you will always be the best part of my life.” He started to walk toward me but suddently stopped and turned toward his bedroom. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.” With his head hanging down he walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

“Mom, I love you and Dad. It’s not fair. I don’t want to go!” “I know my sweetie; we don’t want you to go either. I can’t believe we have to say goodbye so soon.” She handed me a silver heart-shaped locket. “In your heart, you can always find a way out.” My mother was not a sentimental person so this was a strange thing for my mother to say in the situation but then again this wasn’t a normal situation. I placed the locket in my pocket and hugged my mother again. I loud thundering booming from the door interrupted us and I knew it could only mean be one thing.

“Open the door, we are here for the girl.” My mother held my hand in hers and then went to answer the door. The first man to enter was a ginormous man with tree trunks for legs. He looked more like a guard or soldier than a scout. After he appeared the original scout from yesterday. He was much smaller with no disenable features. For some reason, he reminded me of the color grey. The two men just stood there in complete silence for about two minutes. I was getting past the point of awkwardness when the larger man finally spoke “Well let’s get a move on, it’s a long trip back to Renoir and I can’t stand the smell here.”

I hugged my mother one last time and followed the two men out into the hallway. As we started to walk down the hallway, the large man in front and the smaller one behind me, my mother called out “remember that you can always find a way out in your heart.” Looked down towards her, not understanding why she was saying that. I shook it off and continued on my way. Michael was leaving for work as we passed by his family's apartment. I lifted my head only for a second as we passed by. I could see the look of shock on his face and then the pain in his eyes as he realized why I was in the stairwell last night. My heart pounded as our eyes met but I quickly looked down to the floor. It hurt too much.

After leaving the district we were ushered onto a private subway train. I took a seat and my escorts sat three rows in front and behind me. Sitting there waiting for my pending doom I remembered the locket my mother gave me. I pulled the locket from my pocket and opened it expecting to find a picture of my parents. Instead, I found a pale light pink oval-shaped pill. It was at that moment that my mother’s words made sense.