People Pleasers get your personality back!

lets give a bit more insight into the author. I, Grace, 19 years of age is a insufferable people pleaser. A blessing and a curse, with its challenges. I don’t believe waking up at 6:30 am for class after a night of partying is a way to go, but hey we’re all young once right. I’m here to help us get our personalities back! How empowering. yeeaaahhhh!

Let’s get into the fundamentals. Im going to be providing some useful tips that have helped me get overcome this part of myself. It’s something us sensitives have to remind ourselves, (that’s why your here, right?)

Annnd that leads me to my first point.

1. Get used to the word “no”

It’s important to have fun. Believe me being a people pleaser has its perks. People love you and you go on some great adventures outside of your own comfort zone. But there ARE limits, and I’ll tell you how these super important tool can be your super-power.

In setting boundaries we are able to set a clear distinction of who we ARE and who we are NOT willing to be.

I’m not just talking about how going out partying or not, but exercising these practices helps us knowingly practice a sense of freedom of our beliefs, our choices of friends, our hobbies, even our choice of food at the Chinese Restaurant. The confidence we get from the practice of saying no can become empowering and an interesting descovery. Try it every single day. Your going to get used of rejection with the small stuff.

2. Your probably going to start getting pissed at people 👸

Hold onto this. I want you get fixated on the moment, be overwhelmed by the energies of all of the people around us if eventually you use this anger to retreat. This where the cool stuff happens. Think of our brains like a sponge. Absorbant to all of the bad and good energies around us. Even the extroverted most lively few of us need to set apart what we let into our sponges.

Picture the beach. The energy of the waves, and the feel of the sand, can actually be compared to a human being. It’s alive, and it has a certain energy about it, right? The most important part of this example is that what makes the beach special, to me, is that the energy is consistent. It’s positive. Think of an activity, or a place, or an animal, that has made you feel like you can finally take a breath. It could be the running, writing, art, walking through the garden even, and replace it with some social activities that are no longer serving you. (Random examples.) Your going to want to put that on your “my safe space” as no. 1, In your notes page, off your go!

3. Welcome back, romantic relationships can wait

For others, finding the perfect one is as simple as meeting someone at a bar one night and convincing themselves that it’s special. “What! You like dogs too? Your MINE!” If your a people-pleaser, your likely going to mirror people, and you might find yourself in a situation where it’s hard to be authentic in your relationships. A perfect example would be changing your clothes to fit your parters supposed “type.” A perfect example of this is from the movie “Runaway Bride.” Oh Julia Roberts… babe…

Give it a watch, at my awesome psychologists recommendation! You might find it hits too close to home, but it’s okay, because we’re going to put our relationships on hold until we have some personalities back up in here.

4. Oh morals.

Every human, like it or not, are born into a distinguished set of moral systems and beliefs. Unfortunately-or fortunately, these are influenced by our family - the people around us. Who we look up to, and where these people are going with there lives. Ever heard the saying, choose your friend group your choosing your future? it’s not wrong. It’s really that easy to let other people into our moral system without realising it. Get your notes up again. And think about it. What are YOUR morals? An easy way to distinguish this is to think about what you don’t like, is what you don’t you want for ideal yourself. When have you felt uncomfortable? Or angry? If it’s hard to think about some examples it might help to think back the crucial time that this might have all changed for you, before that. Do you want to change anything about this cruel to be kind world? (Movie reference.) Write it down under… “MORALS.” Right now.

5. Your gonna want to practice “self love.”

This is a pretty important one, I know sometimes it’s easy to get ourselves into a dark place, especially if your a deep thinker. I know sometimes it might feel like we’re drowning in everybody else’s shit. Against popular belief of ourselves, and anyone else who makes us feel that way (toxic,) we don’t deserve that. And your going to be MORE than okay! This is the best part, the core part of what makes us who we are, and we’re getting deeper now. Don't give the good stuff away

Now, on a happier note, let’s bring it to the surface. Another amazing tip, in reference to my lovely gorgeous astonishingly cool psychologist again, the mirror technique 💋 find a mirror right now, now look in it, okay. When you do, I want you to piece together anything you can possibly find that you see, that you like about yourself.

We love to look into other people. Time to look into ourselves. One I like to say to myself is “your so resilient, brave. So strong for getting this far.” And that’s what we are, we’re strong. What other person would be able to cope with the in’s and out’s of the world from the front seat of the roller coaster? we don’t even have a seatbelt god damn it!

And I understand, this might not be everyone’s thing, it’s a little presumptuous. Love that word. That’s why I want you to also write a list too, on your notes, of all the things about yourself that you are grateful for. You can use mine first if you want a good booster to ya list! I give you ✨consent.

FINALLY, and not most importantly, still crucial though,

6. Stop being so hard on yourself, cutie

We have a few strategies in place now, and I know sometimes it might feel like if we are not loved and accepted by the other people around us we failed the day. We ARE SUCCEEDING ON OUR OWN🥵 It feels like we’re not, but oh my gosh being the best version of yourself, a self that no one has been heard of before, like a proper individual human being, that person, you. Your already really fucking cool. If all you’ve been doing is trying to survive, your basically a soldier. You cool human oh my god. Alright I’m going to finish up now. But if you want more writing I’m more than happy to. But I’m going to do it anyway. Don't hesitate to like my blog. Aplogies for any grammatical errors, I am sleep deprived after all besties <3