Please be a tough guy in your middle age

Sometimes when people reach the middle age, they will inevitably be a little pessimistic about the future, and they can't help but feel that when they have reached this age, it seems as if everything has already become a foregone conclusion, and their life will be just like that.

Although I occasionally think this way, I still hope that I can be a strong person in life, can protect my family from the wind and rain, and can make the next 20-30 years of my life more comfortable.

The only way for a person to become strong is to be "tough".

This kind of "ruthless" is not to others ruthless ruthless, not hard-hearted ruthless, but a kind of attitude in the world ---- bold, persistent, focused.

Whether it is a real historical figures, or fictional characters in film and television works, every successful person is not a ruthless person, such as Zeng Guofan, such as Zhen Huan .....

Do a ruthless person may wish to start from the following aspects.

01. Accept yourself

People in their middle age will encounter a lot of bad things, from work, from family, and also from personal ..... Many people face these bad things, will complain, will be annoyed, will be internal consumption.

Complaining about the unfairness of fate, self internal consumption will only let themselves deep into the mire can not pull themselves out, so as to lose the enthusiasm and hope for life.

Sometimes a lot of things happen, the individual can not help, such as unemployment, can not just blame on their own ability, the environment and the company's development direction will have an impact on you.

When we change our attitude from passive to active acceptance of ourselves, acceptance of everything that happens, behavior will naturally change from blaming others to accepting ourselves, facing up to our own mistakes, accepting our own ordinary, accepting our own shortcomings.

When you face your true self openly, you will realize that many people and things are not worth occupying your mind and emotions.

Acceptance of oneself, the outward looking into the inward looking, to solve the problem of the spearhead from other people to their own, before the internal conflict will be changed to calm and open.

Acceptance of oneself is a process of re-knowing oneself, when you know more and more deeply about yourself, you will reassess your own ability to adjust their own state, and then change the countermeasures of work and life at the right time.

Knowing yourself and accepting yourself is the core issue that everyone needs to face, and it is also the first step to becoming a ruthless person.

Once you accept yourself from the heart, no one can ever hurt you with your own weaknesses.

02. Delayed gratification

Human nature is eager to achieve instant gratification, which is why we all like to watch cool drama, see the unknown hero / heroine because of their own a kind gesture, immediately get the sky rich, easy to complete the class leap, how can this not call the bitter middle-aged people on the head?

But the reality is: if you want to achieve something, you have to be patient and learn to delay gratification.

Middle-aged people want too many things, decent jobs, generous earnings, spacious houses, luxury cars ...... This is partly because of the necessities of life and partly because of face.

It is also because they want too much, so middle-aged people live a particularly tiring.

Good things who all want, but not everyone can want, so it will lead to resentment, and then complain about God. It is not difficult to find those ruthless people are more patient people, but also know how to delay gratification of people, they do not care about the immediate gains and losses, will be willing to give up for the long-term goal of the benefits that are within reach, and the temptation of the immediate.

Can not resist the immediate temptation, will lose the future happiness.

03. Deliberate Practice

Many people have heard of the 10,000-hour rule, which originated with the author Gladwell in his book The Alienist.

What makes a genius extraordinary is not his or her talent, but the constant effort he or she puts into it, and 10,000 hours of refinement is all that is needed to take anyone from mediocre to world-class mastery.

Most people only see 10,000 hours as a number, but miss the two important words in that sentence - "constant" and "refinement". See, there is a qualifier here for 10,000 hours!

You can't become a tough guy without deliberate practice, and any skill, even money, requires practice, lots of practice, lots of deliberate practice, if you want to reach a point of excellence.

In addition to skills, a positive mindset and the wisdom of life also need to be deliberately practiced, such as encountering rotten people and rotten things to learn to deliberately practice their own attitude of not getting angry and not getting entangled, such as encountering a mid-life crisis, you need to practice to give yourself positive psychological hints of the mentality .....

People to the middle age need more than just skills, more need to be soft power, only practiced enough wisdom, can really become a ruthless person, can be invincible.