Unforeseen Influence

I hate my dad! He's never taught me anything. He never showed me how to be a man, a husband or a father. Due to him being uneducated and having divorced parents he had no ability to teach me these things. Also due to his battles throughout my childhood with drug and alcohol abuse he couldn't even teach me how to be a good person at all. This is the narrative that I've been fighting against my entire life. Him constantly apologizing for not being able to help me with my homework. Him constantly telling me that I am a good dad in spite of him and not because of him.

Was he the dad that society says he should have been? Absolutely not! Was he the dad that my sisters and I wanted him to be? Absolutely not! He was there though. He lived with us. He's been married to and living with my mother for over forty years. He honestly feels that just being there wasn't enough. Maybe it wasn't. What he doesn't know however is the influence that he's had over my life. He doesn't know how much the man that I am today had to do with him just being there. He doesn't realize that it has nothing to do with the kind of dad that he was.

This story is about what fulfills me. What fulfills me other than my children is my creativity. My creativity and my vivid imagination is what I use to write my books. It's what I use to host my podcast. It's the reason why I absorb and love all of the entertainment that I consume. The movies, TV shows and music that I love to talk about on my podcast. The vivid stories that make me want to write better stories. All of the things that push me to be the best I can at what I do.

Even down to the way that I talk, which is what allows me to be a great podcast host. All of these factors in the biggest fulfillment in my life comes from my dad being there.

My mother has been a Jehovah's Witness my entire life. That essentially made my sisters and I Jehovah's Witnesses as children. Now Jehovah's Witnesses have strict rules on what their followers are allowed to watch as far as movies and television shows. We weren't allowed to listen to certain types of music either. For the most part my mother had firmly adhered to those rules. The only exception was the time that I spent with my dad.

My dad loved entertainment. He loved movies, music, sitcoms and especially wrestling. So that's what my dad did with me. We'd listen to music, watch wrestling and a ton of movies. That was our time together. Now my mother, knowing that he didn't have much else to offer never interfered with that. That was where my passion for entertainment came from. My dad loved to spend that time with me. He loved to talk about the movies, wrestling and everything else that we watched. That made me pay very close attention to the films just so that I could have those conversations with him. I used to turn on my TV at night with the volume down and listen from my dad's room. He watched Maude and All in the Family and so did I even though I was supposed to be sleeping. Without that time with my dad I would not have the passion that I have today for podcasting or writing.

The paying of close attention to those films totally embraced me in the art of storytelling. Totally sparked my imagination. Watching sitcoms and adult themed movies as a child taught me how to talk. People often said that I was an old soul but that wasn't the case. I talked like an adult because I learned to talk that way. The older I became the more engulfed I became in entertainment. I wanted to be a part of it. I realized that not only did I want to be engulfed in it but I also wanted to entertain and engulf others. That's why I write books. That's why I host a podcast.

Now I believe that people should support my passion because it is authentic. It comes from an honest place. It comes from the love that I have for my dad. It comes from the respect that I have for my mother. She went against her religious beliefs to allow me that time with my dad. It comes from my genuine love of all entertainment. It comes from my genuine desire to bring others the same joy that I get from it. I'm fulfilled by knowing that one person may have enjoyed a story that I have written. I'm fulfilled by knowing that someone out there has read one if not all three of my books. I'm fulfilled by knowing that one person has listened to my podcast. I'm fulfilled by the belief that my podcast may have changed someone's mind about a movie or television show. The belief that my podcast may have been the reason why someone decided to listen to an album or watch a movie. I'm fulfilled by the belief that at least one person appreciates and loves what I do. The best part is that I'm fulfilled just by doing these things for myself. If not one person had ever listened to my podcast, if not one person had ever read one of my books. I would still do it because I genuinely love it! It's not how I make my living but it most certainly makes my life!