Why Does Growth Often Feels Lonely

I am here and right in the middle of it. The Lonely Stage.

It is not just a passing feeling. It is that messy phase where my goals and reality clash like two kids fighting over a toy. It is where old friendships fade, and new ones have not quite clicked yet.

I am left alone with my thoughts, thinking and pondering, realizing that growth often comes with a price. The price of solitude.

People don’t really talk about this part. They talk about winning, the grind, the big transformation but they skip the part where you are staring at the ceiling at 2 AM wondering why you suddenly feel like an alien among your own friends.

Because here is the truth, when you start growing, not everyone grows with you.

Not Everyone Is Meant to Stay

Some friendships are meant for a season, and that is okay. Outgrowing people is not betrayal, it is life. You are evolving, and sometimes that means leaving behind those who only knew an older version of you.

At the same time, you are not stopping anyone from keeping up with you. If they want to grow alongside you, they can.

It is like when you get a new haircut, and your friends either hype you up, pretend not to notice, or straight up roast you. Growth works the same way. Some will celebrate you, some will dismiss you, and some will try to keep you where you were.

And the worst part? You can not really explain it. How do you tell someone, “Hey, I still care about you, but my life is heading in a direction where our paths no longer align” without sounding like a bad breakup line?

In my opinion, frankly you can not. And at times it maybe difficult for the other party to understand too.

So, you slowly drift apart, and yeah, it feels a little lonely. But that loneliness comes from choosing growth, stepping out of your comfort zone, walking away from the crowd, and carving your own path. And suddenly, you are on your own because not everyone is ready to leave their comfort behind.

The Loneliness Isn’t a Trap, It is a Passage

Nobody tells you this, but loneliness is actually a sign you are doing something right. It means you are stepping out of the crowd and into yourself. You are learning to enjoy your own company. And yeah, it is awkward at first, like taking yourself out on a date and not knowing what to talk about.

But sit with it. Feel it. Embrace it. Because on the other side of this? Your people.

Your People Will Find You

The good news is, patience pays off. When you are unapologetically yourself, you attract the right kind of people, the ones who get it, who get you. No forcing, no faking. Just connection.

To be honest, how many close friends do you really need? In my opinion, just a few good ones are enough. The ones who truly matter will be there for you, through the highs and the lows.

So, if you are in The Lonely Stage right now, do not panic. You are not broken. You are just in transition phase.

Take a deep breath, put on your favorite song, and keep walking. Your people are waiting down the road.

And have faith, they will be worth it.

“The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood. It is the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self.”

―George Orwell, 1984

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