The Time I Cried about Each DAY

So to start off let me tell you about my Fantasy- Mystery story The Shells Ancestry before the actual story (anyways it's just one paragraph). If you wanna you can check it out you can get info and some other info about the story. Also starting the actual 'An Event From My Life' story now.

So this is back from about a couple months ago when my 9th exam were approaching. I was in an academy too to let me prepare for the exams cause schools don't do a good job rather academies do (apparently). So I had to do tests there instead.

So the academy teachers were... they're a story for another time anyways my tests weren't going good cause we had "two years to prepare" and the academy people remained lazy and starting over for revisions even with like not even half the syllabus covered cause "the new kid came so their syllabus would get covered too" which meant starting over.

Eventually what happened was that our tests weren't taken properly because of "laziness" and the exams got too close so we had to do bigger tests which I wasn't prepared to do at the time so my marks weren't great or good if anyone would've said that.

Mind "them" I was doing 10/11 PM to 2/3 AM studying with my brother's 10th class and him studying too. I know a daydreaming and focus problem are my thing with mama's (Mother's) phone too but I still studied OKAY…AND also I was also experiencing the shadow hallucinations at that time too! Okay?! Thats a story for another time too…I am excited about that one!

I know i am just complaining and it was probably my fault aswell which probably was alot of my fault in my low marks (We don't have a 'Only' grading system here so we get marks AND grades). I suppose this might be complaining too but i don't have answers so i wanna avoid talking about it.

So the low test marks thing and the teacher's complains which I had to hear were alot so I had to cry everyday maybe twice too if I could. There's no direct bad in crying so cry as much as you want its great and okay to cry sometimes or alot just cry too okay.

What I have been trying to get at here is that I have got an emotional repression probably (Probably because I wasn't diagnosed by a psychologist thats what I fiqured out) because now things have to go really bad for me to properly cry and I am crying about the new thing so the older emotions are just bottled up! STILL?!?!?!

Its like so unnatural like the tears just don't come non matter how desperate I am to cry so its probably a subconscious repression if it is one. Like sometimes I shed two tears but I just couldn't cry to be honest it just not that crying…and also when I cry I just HAVE to sleep afterwards my brain and me just goes numb…and also I would talk about my 12 hour need of proper sleep later another time too.

Also recently i feel like it's starting to go away or maybe i was just more overwhelmed recently or some stuff of the sort. What actually happened is i was able to cry easier now in the last few days not as much as i wanted but the situation didn't go so bad and i was able to cry... Which is GREaaaaat!!!!!! I am still trying to understand what's been happening with me so i am a bit hopefull i suppose now.

Anyways this was me Mit-lark Stay Happy and Allah Hafiz!