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Call of the Ocean

A Crown Cinquain

By Dharrsheena Raja SegarranPublished 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago 1 min read
Top Story - February 2023
Photo by ben o'bro on Unsplash

The wind

It was blowing

She closed her eyes and felt

How nice it is to feel something

Unseen

~~~~~

Unseen

Therefore unheard

But the sea had many

Secrets and mysteries untold

Curious

~~~~~

Curious

She squinted hard

It seemed to her the waves

Were beckoning her to follow

Should she?

~~~~~

Should she

Follow her heart

And jump into the sea

Or listen to the warning bells

Ringing

~~~~~

Ringing

In both her ears

Swimming underwater

Kept going deeper till she found

Answers

~~~~~

A Crown Cinquain is a sequence of five cinquain stanzas functioning to construct a larger poem. The syllabic count for each stanza is 2-4-6-8-2.

The last line of the previous cinquain stanza is repeated as the first line of the next cinquain stanza.

The final line of the last cinquain stanza does not have to equal the first line of the first cinquain stanza, but it is an option.

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About the Creator

Dharrsheena Raja Segarran

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    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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    Well-structured & engaging content

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    Creative use of language & vocab

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    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (80)

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  • Seema Patelabout a month ago

    Brilliant. All your stories have some melancholic tone.

  • Marie381Uk 9 months ago

    Lovely poetry here your poetry tells a story 🍀🍀🍀

  • Test10 months ago

    Life is beautiful, and sometimes we should get a little tipsy — in a good way. I really liked your poem. You express yourself authentically. I hope we become friends.

  • Test11 months ago

    Jumping with our thoughts in the seabed, we become one with the transcendent dimension. Then we accept the ripples of the surface with love.

  • Love the ocean, many thanks for sharing xx

  • Andrea Corwin about a year ago

    NO! stay and feel it on your face and enjoy the day. 2 yrs late, Congrats!!

  • Sarah Danaher2 years ago

    Well done and going deeper is so good.

  • The Dani Writer2 years ago

    Intriguing! I've never even attempted a cinquain, but I really like what you've done with yours. The ocean drew me in. Mystical ending. Well done!

  • Isabella Rose2 years ago

    This one was good. I admire your poetic skills, My Morbid Friend.

  • Joe O’Connor2 years ago

    This poem has such a rhythmic flow to it, which matches perfectly considering there is so much ocean imagery. “It seemed to her the waves Were beckoning her to follow”. I like the idea of her immersed in watching the water. Nice!

  • Wow! Best!

  • Justine Crowley2 years ago

    Lovely. I was relaxed reading this. Congratulations on Top Story <3 <3

  • Nice! 😊💕Congratulations on Top Story🎉🎉🎉

  • Darkos2 years ago

    💜💜💜💜❤️🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡I think no words can describe so I just let the silent speak ! Congratulations ! one of the most beautiful One and painful one I read ! Big Hug Much Love !

  • Laura Lann2 years ago

    What a fun form! And a tragic poem

  • Rob Angeli2 years ago

    That is a really lovely poem, and I am definitely going to have to try out that form, too. Excellent!

  • Dean F. Hardy2 years ago

    Really interested in the form structure of this poem. To a point I'm going to play with it. Thanks Dharrsheena, lovely poem.

  • I hate that I missed this one! (Especially as much as I love your writing!) This is masterfully written and I LOVE the rhythm of it. Reading it, you can almost feel the movement of the ocean. LOVE this poem!!

  • Dana Crandell2 years ago

    I have no idea how I missed this brilliant piece, but thanks to Naomi, it found me today. I'm so glad it did. Beautifully written as always, and thank you for introducing me to another intriguing form.

  • Test3 years ago

    I love the way you experiment with different poetic forms, and share what you’re doing in your author’s note. I want to attempt this type of poem now. What I loved most about this was my personal interpretation of it. I’m not sure if this was what you had in mind, but I felt like it was a metaphor for consciousness. The ocean is so vast and unknowable, like the depths of the human mind. It can be terrifying to explore, but some of us are lured by that siren song that promises a little more awareness.

  • Rachel Deeming3 years ago

    Very evocative but simply so which I think is a trait of great poetry. Loved it!

  • Lana V Lynx3 years ago

    This is beautiful and transporting.

  • Test3 years ago

    You’re such a talented poet! So beautifully written!

  • Test3 years ago

    This was beautiful D, I love the formatting and rhythm of the poem. It felt very whimsical, put me in the mood for summer and beach weather. 😊💕

  • L.C. Schäfer3 years ago

    This is really beautiful 😁

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