Good Bye New Mexico

Good Bye New Mexico

Like so many kids who landed in Alamogordo, New Mexico, I was a military brat. We arrived in 1968, and ten years later I walked across a high‑school graduation stage carrying far more than a diploma. By June of 1978, I was gone—determined to make my mark in the world and just as determined to escape the terror and violence inside my childhood home.

People love to mock and project what they don’t understand. If you are one of those people, I forgive you. I forgive you for me, not for you. I understand that people love to dismiss someone else’s pain when it threatens the stories they tell about themselves. But I don’t need anyone’s validation. All I have to do is look in the mirror at the crooked nose my father broke twice, or trace the scars on my arms and legs, to remember exactly what happened. And that’s not even touching the mental damage. As we’re seeing in today’s world, no one hides and denies their sins more fiercely than an entitled white man. My father is no exception. Yet, we keep letting them get away with no consequences or accountability.

We had moved to New Mexico from Germany, and somehow that desert became the place where I learned to breathe again. This song—this goodbye—is about letting go of the pain with love, not denial. Love for the land that held me when my brick and broken home did not. Love for the mountains that stood guard when no one else would. Love for the sun that warmed bruised skin and reminded me I was still alive.

And now, after all these years, I’ve had the blessing of spending real time with my best friend—my sister in spirit—and her family. We spent our adult lives far apart, but these past weeks gave us the chance to catch up on forty‑plus years of stories, laughter, and healing. Getting to know her kids felt like being handed a piece of life I didn’t realize I’d been missing.

I’m heading back to Europe soon, and I know I’ll probably only return to the U.S. for short visits. But New Mexico will always be stitched into my bones. You were my refuge when I needed one most. You helped me survive what should have broken me.

Goodbye, New Mexico. I love you.

Here is a little song I wrote. It will be on the streams soon.

#alamogordo #alamogordonewmexico #forgiveness #sisters #albuquerque

Good Bye New Mexico

Verse 1

I was just a scared little kid living in my parent's perfect suburban house,

Learning early how to tiptoe, and how to quiet myself down.

But, you held me close, New Mexico you held me close

In ways no one could see—

Your wide-open skies made promises of freedom to me.

And When the nights got loud and the walls felt fragile and thin,

your mountains whispered, "you’re safe here, my friend."

And I’d breathe again under your sky of endless blue,

never knowing how much I love and owe to you.

Chorus

I love you, New Mexico,

But I'm finally saying goodbye

I’ve finally let go

of the shadows that terrorized my childhood home.

Your sun warmed my bones,

your green chili fed my soul,

you taught me how to breathe and stand when life took its toll.

I wear a zia tattooed on my shoulder

Like a promise that won’t depart

you’re in my past,

but always in my soul,

always in my heart.

Always on my heart

Goodbye, New Mexico

I love you

Verse 2

Your mountains were my secret guard,

standing tall for a child learning life could be hard.

You gave me backbone when I felt so small,

held me steady when I couldn’t hold myself at all.

And the years they rolled on like desert wind,

carrying pieces of the little girl I had been.

But every time I smelled upcoming desert rain

I remembered the strength you grew in me.

Chorus

I love you, New Mexico,

But I'm finally saying goodbye

I’ve finally let go

of the shadows that terrorized my childhood home.

Your sun warmed my bones,

your green chili fed my soul,

you taught me how to breathe and stand when life took its toll.

I wear a zia tattooed on my shoulder

Like a promise that won’t depart

you’re in my past,

but always in my soul,

always in my heart.

Always on my heart

Goodbye, New Mexico

I love you

Bridge

There’s a kind of healing only New Mexico love and light can give,

a kind of divine mercy in the way the people live.

And though I’m walking forward, I’m not walking away—

you shaped the woman I am today.

Chorus

I love you, New Mexico,

But I'm finally saying goodbye

I’ve finally let go

of the shadows that terrorized my childhood home.

Your sun warmed my bones,

your green chili fed my soul,

you taught me how to breath and stand when life took its toll.

I wear a zia tattooed on my shoulder

Like a promise that won’t depart

you’re in my past,

but always in my soul,

always in my heart.

Always on my heart

Goodbye, New Mexico

I love you

I love you