Halcyon

I've allowed my anxiety to speak for me. To tear me down like you always used to. You ridiculed my wingspan until it was nothing but bones. You didn't want me whole, you wanted me broken. You loved me when I was fragile and co-dependent. I've ventured out of the cave into spiraling sunlight. I still feel the discomfort because I'm accustomed to the inferiority. How do I overcome this trauma? How do I reach those blessed days of halcyon? I hold myself up to severe expectations instead of being kind to myself. I'm still learning how to exist without you. Succeeding without needing your permission. You can't keep returning and holding me hostage to the past. I can break free because that's not what's expected of me. You wanted me to fail but I have to disappoint you one last time. I was running out of time when I was with you. I was undermining my own potential to soothe your delicate ego. You wouldn't let the truth breathe. I'll take the lead. I'll take the chance that was given to me. This is the one I've been searching for. He's been looking for me too. I'll hang on with all the hope that is inside of me. We're a force that cannot be stopped. You tried to stifle this acceleration but this propulsion will break through. This ascension is something you cannot control, could not contain. The flames will skyrocket into the zenith while you lament down here on earth. The view is amazing up here. I'll take him with me as I explore other universes. When I eject myself into oblivion, you'll be there with me. I can't do this without you. Maybe I could but I just don't want to. When I explode as a supernova, I want you there to witness it. To keep me safe where I hold onto your hand with all that I have. I want to keep you with me for as long as I can. I was never anyone's until I met you. I can gratefully say my heart is yours because it belongs to you. I can't defy the forces that have led me to you. It was inevitable and I am yours just as you are mine. We are finally alive. We are the crack in the sky and we have been blessed with the divine. We are perpetually intertwined. We will stay like this forever until the end of time