How to Panic Properly

Following Information is certified and very professional.

First, feel something small.

Maybe your friend said "k."

Maybe you waved at someone

Who was not waving at you.

Good.

Now we begin.

Step one: Assume the worst.

Not a small worst.

A huge worst.

A life-ending, move-to-the-mountains worst.

Step two: replay it.

Again.

And again.

Add new details each time

that make it worse.

Did they pause before replying?

That means they hate you.

Did they not pause?

That means they never cared.

There is no winning here.

Step three: walk around your room

like a detective in a crime show.

Whisper things like,

"It all makes sense now."

It does not make sense.

But that has never stopped you before.

Step four: Text your friend,

"Be honest."

Do not say about what.

Let them guess.

Keep them afraid.

If they say "What's wrong?"

Reply, "Nothing."

This is very important.

step five: imagine moving to a new city

where no one knows

about THE INCIDENT.

Start planning your new life.

You will have a dog.

The dog will respect you.

Now, final step:

Eat a snack.

Drink some water.

Sit down.

Notice how the world

did not end.

The mountains are still far away.

Your friend is probably just busy.

Say this out loud:

"I may have done too much."

Laugh a little.

Just a little-

Congratulations!

You have completed

*Sparkle* Advanced Overthinking Level One. *Sparkle*

Please collect your award!:

one slightly bruised ego

and a very normal day.

...