Ixchel

In the ethereal tapestry of existence, under the watchful gaze of Ixchel’s guiding light under my mother wove the threads that brought me forth into this vibrant, chaotic world. You gifted me to my mother and before you left, you said, when it is time for me to return, you will be confused, but as you look to the uj (moon) in the sky, you will be comforted.

Years unfolded, and unknowing, I met a reflection of my very essence, my soul in another, entering our sacred circle. They came with their mother as their circle had been decimated by disease. The first stolen glances were taken. Unfamiliar aching had settled in my being. As the sun began its descent, an onslaught of emotions stirred within me. Embarrassed by these emotions, I felt the need to hide from my circle. Fear drove me to seek refuge in my haven, alongside my mother. Yet, sleep eluded me, compelling me to venture back out in search of tranquility. It was then, beneath the majestic uj, that your guiding light found me once more. A searing pain forced me to my knees, a bloody mess running down my thighs. I was scared that my death was imminent and I started to pray. Then, your warm and soothing light touched upon my abdomen, easing my pain and banished the mists of uncertainty and thoughts of death. In that moment of profound clarity, I understood I am no longer a child. The path to womanhood stretched before me, requiring a new journey, a necessary parting from the constant embrace of mother. I must venture from my haven and start learning to become familiar with possible new ones.

Before the moonlight receded again, a whisper: "When you become ready for womanhood, Temazcal will reveal the other half of your soul. You will know them by the maize they offer, the same hues as your honey and wildflowers. A heat you have never felt will rise within you. And when the shadows lift, you will recognize each other, as if you have always known."

The very next day, destiny unfolded. The mother of my unknown other half, a guide to new skills not practiced within my circle was introduced. Each afternoon thereafter, while learning my new skills, beneath the watchful eyes of Yum Kaax, the sustenance of the day was offered by the males, and my soul's unknown other half was encountered briefly as they greeted their mother.

More years turned, filled with nights of silent dreams, untold even to my mother. I waited for the next chapter with such an entanglement of excitement and anxiety that some days were unbearable. And when I started losing hope and belief in what was foretold, the night of Temazcal arrived.

Mother and I ventured into the fields, gathering blue wildflowers and green leaves to craft a bouquet mirroring the sky. At home, golden honey was poured into a decorated jug, resting until nightfall. The music began, chanting a powerful invitation to the center of our world. Our circle. All the young, poised to identify their life partners, were blindfolded. Only the females walked the walk.

Anxiety became a tremor in my being; the pounding drums a rhythmic reminder of my destiny. It was finally my turn to walk the outline of the circle. A sudden frigid air of terror enveloped me. My steps are shaky, fueled only by sheer determination. I pushed forward, until a foreign heat began to burn my being, starting from the very soles of my feet. Each step burned hotter. When I could bear no more, I fell to my knees, tearing off my blindfold. And there they were: the other half of my soul. A beautiful basket of maize, three rings of color—gold, blue, then green—a perfect match to my offerings of honey and wildflowers. Then my other half ripped their blindfold off, and we saw each other fully. A smile etched on both our faces as a blinding white light enveloped us, a timeless moment of union. As quickly as it came, it vanished, leaving in our laps two baby rabbits, our gifts transformed.

When the uj was starting to set and the new light was sparkling on the horizon, I heard a whisper. It said, “I will see you in 3 seasons for you will need my guiding light under you.”

Ixchel, my moon goddess, thank you.