Shattered Glass

What words speak out

There’s so much pain inside

There’s not enough tears to describe

The demons are circling me

It would be so easy to give in

To let go…

But I don’t want to because you give me hope.

When will I learn

That your hope isn’t mine?

That no matter how much I want your love to be my saving grace

The spirit dying inside of me

Deserves to be fought for

I’m so afraid of being too broken to love

I know these feelings won’t last forever

But I’m petrified that you might not have the strength to stay

I feel like I’m trapped in the prison of my pain

So broken compared to the strong girl I used to be.

I’m struggling to face my fears

I’m struggling to hold onto the edge

There’s hope your feelings are an anchor

A lesson and foundation that’s unwavering

~

I’m afraid of the past

Why am I hanging onto all this hurt?

What am I gaining from feeling all this pain?

The tears bring release

But my body aches

Shivers with the tension shattering my resolve

I’ve carried too much weight

Don’t leave me alone

Don’t watch me break

I’ve been alone with the truth for too long.

I’ve been drowning inside,

Wishing to die,

When all I want is to feel right.

~

I’m tired of being sorry

Tired of feeling like I’ll never be okay

When will I rise out of the hurt forced on me?

Will I ever break free?

Will I ever choose me?

Will I ever be able to forgive ME?