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What if I Told You?

The nightingale swoons

By Cathy holmesPublished about a year ago β€’ 1 min read

If I told you your eyes light the crescent moon,

if I said that your voice makes the nightingale swoon,

if I swore that your smile warms the new day,

and insisted your arms keep the night chills away;

if I said, with your hands, you could make the world turn,

or that one kiss from you, and volcanoes would churn,

if I told you your passion causes oceans to rise,

and that when you are sad, I watch the sky cry;

if I said that the heavens call out your name

that the planets are honoured to spin in your frame

would you still turn and walk away

would you still believe

there was nothing

left

to say?

inspirationallove poemsMental Healthnature poetry

About the Creator

Cathy holmes

Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (35)

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  • The Invisible Writer12 months ago

    Wow you blew me away with this one. Soooooo good Cathy!

  • David The Explorer12 months ago

    A very fitting poem with nightingale photos to match.

  • VoiceOfAnOutlier12 months ago

    This poem is filled with amazing imagery. Loved it. Thanks for sharing.

  • L.C. SchΓ€ferabout a year ago

    "the planets are honoured to spin in your frame" - oh!

  • Gerald Holmesabout a year ago

    Just beautiful!!!

  • CindyπŸŽ€about a year ago

    Your imagery is stunning – "eyes light the crescent moon," "voice makes the nightingale swoon," "arms keep the night chills away" – it's all so evocative. The ending is heartbreaking, though. That sense of despair and the fear of rejection is really powerful. Great job πŸ‘πŸ½

  • Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! πŸŽ‰πŸ’–πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸ’–πŸŽŠ

  • D.K. Shepardabout a year ago

    Love the diminishing line length structure of this, Cathy! Just beautifully done!

  • Leslie Writesabout a year ago

    Beautiful, Cathy!

  • sleepy draftsabout a year ago

    Oh, my heart. This is beautiful and heart-wrenching, Cathy, πŸ’—

  • Komalabout a year ago

    What a beautifully crafted piece! It flows like a gentle melody, each line painting vivid emotions. The imagery is celestial, and the vulnerability at the end tugs at the heart. Truly captivating!

  • C. Rommial Butlerabout a year ago

    Wow! Well-wrought! This reminds me of the best work of the greats, Cathy. Shelley or Keats or Frost or Dickinson or Poe couldn't have done better. This would also be a great poem to set to music.

  • ❀️ So romantic!

  • Michelle Liew Tsui-Linabout a year ago

    This was absolutely romantic, Kathy. And like Dhar said, we deserve someone who has complete faith in us. This would make great song lyrics!

  • John Coxabout a year ago

    This is a beautiful and strikingly sad poem, Cathy. And like all of your poetry, masterfully written. I love Dharsheena's response. Of course, it does not address the response at the end of your poem to the love-struck words expressed to the lover who walks silently away. But it is a pleasant dream. Why is true intimacy so difficult, so threatening, so terrifying? Clearly, I don't have the answer, so I'm just asking.

  • Tiffany Gordonabout a year ago

    Go gurl! This is absolutely gorgeous! πŸ’•

  • I don't know, sounds too good to be true. If anyone said this to me, I'd be like "What do you want from me?" 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 Jokes aside, we all deserve someone who genuinely feels this way about us. Loved your poem!

  • Beautiful words and I love the picture you used

  • JBazabout a year ago

    Once again you managed to hit all the right emotions

  • Caroline Cravenabout a year ago

    Swoon…. This was just beautiful!

  • Sid Aaron Hirjiabout a year ago

    nice love poem

  • Kelli Sheckler-Amsdenabout a year ago

    Beautiful, Cathy ❀️

  • Vicki Lawana Trusselli about a year ago

    Aewsome nature poem!

  • Babs Iversonabout a year ago

    Gorgeous nature poem!!! Love it!!!β€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’•

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