Daydreaming of a Nightmare

How can it be so painful to watch you die when I don't even know who you are?

It still puts that ache in my chest; a blackhole of unmeasurable gravity building up so much pressure that I don't know if I'll be able to take another breath. Winters, with chills that pierce cloth like arrows through armor and make every intake of air relentlessly sobering, have passed. It must be a decade now since you left this wound on me. Why is this dream tattooed onto my brain with I as the only viewer of the exhibit asking its meaning?

The spike of adrenaline thrusts me awake. My heart threatens to break free of my chest. Wind tears at me as if it means to take my flesh from my bones. The sky is menacing, polluted with a promise of malice.

As my eyes become unclouded discovery confuses me. I tower amongst a field of grass and unknowingly I am standing in a circle with other people, some of which I am familiar. Mats of vine and leaf laid beneath our feet. The others do not speak nor do they look towards me as if I'm the physical embodiment of insignificance.

I am without an understanding to this design, however, terror encroaches upon me and another dose of adrenaline is forced into me. Trepidation blooms within me. Like a fish on a line a forces pulls me towards a destination unknown. The realization that I'm moving happens as moist earth breaks between my toes and molds to my feet. My lungs burn as they plead for oxygen, but the compulsion is unshakeable, and the request denied.

My tether has me break the crest of a hill and concealed below: a valley scarred by a river. The calm of the water betrays the tension of the world and the urgency in which I advance; as I approach, a motionless figure on the riverfront attracts my focus reeling me in. Innately I know this... she is what binds me, and the reason why dread cascades through my veins infecting every inch of me.

Encased in business attire, she lays disheveled upon the pebbles and sand. She is devoid of all color except for yellow tie that adorns her blouse. Anguish replaces my dread as I reach for her. My vision is clear, however, I cannot make out the details of her face nor can I identify her importance to me. I know not of what aliment she is stricken with, but from her weightlessness I can sense this is her end.

Sorrow robs me of my senses; I can tell in these final moments she is trying to comfort me. Amongst the tears I feel streaking across my face I can see her mouth moving. As if in the void of space her words cannot reach my ears. She gifts me with a smile. It fractures me completely because with it, she is gone.

I don't understand how such a thing has left a scar on my soul. Like most wounds the passage of time has dulled the pain. I don't believe I've ever encountered the woman in the yellow tie, perhaps she is purely a creation of a fever dream, or perhaps someone I'm destined to meet.

If you stood with me in that field I pray your encounter went better than mine, and if not then I offer you my condolences.

May your nightmares never last within your daydreams.