The People in the Psych Ward Aren’t Who You Think

You might be reading this because you are interested in what it’s like to be surrounded by people in a psychiatric hospital, or you might be having thoughts of needing to be admitted and anxious about what people are like in a hospital.

When I heard the words “we need to take you to the hospital” coupled with “you have to be okay with the fact that you may not be coming home tonight”, all I thought was I am ending up in the “nut house” surrounded by crazies. I was high functioning, I led a successful career, and I was just your “normal person”. So many thoughts flooded my mind about the kind of people I was going to be surrounded by, and in that moment, I was taken to the hospital with my first admission into a psychiatric ward. I was asking so many questions of myself: How could this be happening to me? Do I belong here? What can I expect from the other patients?

The first days are always tough; it is a huge adjustment to go from living a normal life, with a “9 to 5” job, freedom to cook, and come and go as you please. To restrictions, no cables longer than 30cm, everything magnetically held together to prevent people from hurting themselves, with hourly checks to make sure that you are still alive. Initially, it sounds like you are going into a prison, and often it feels like that. I have been admitted into three different psychiatric facilities, both public and private. Across all these facilities, the people were never what I envisaged. If anyone has seen American Horror Story: Asylum, that is what I was expecting when I first went in. But it was far from the truth.

I did meet some interesting people with interesting stories. But one thing I learnt is that mental illness affects the best of us. Sure, there were people there under mental health orders, because they were considered a risk to themselves or others. But some people would be considered ordinary people. People that you would meet in the workplace, they could be like your friends, family. They came from all walks of life, from socio-economic backgrounds to white collar professionals. All there for the same purpose: to seek help with managing their mental illness.

The types of people I met were varied, and as I managed to get around to speak to different people, they were all so kind and welcoming. They all had their own issues and their own perceptions of why they were there. We were all, I guess you could say, “crazy” in our own way. But they were all so understanding. They understood the pain, the trauma, the feelings, and emotions. Things I tried to explain to friends and family were not able to be understood. However, in the psych ward, if you told someone how you were feeling, they understood, without worry or judgment. There were no overreactions or outbursts of emotion. It was just understanding and solidarity.

I was fortunate enough to meet some really genuine and amazing people in the psychiatric hospitals. They made me feel safe, at home and free of judgment. We were all fighting our own battles individually, but it felt like a community or a family. As patients were being discharged, my friends, whom I had made, would come and visit me while I was in the hospital. The friends I made in the hospital visited more than my friends who I had before coming to the hospital. They were just genuine people who were struggling and battling their own demons. For those who do not have a lot of support, you will often find more support from other patients than you would outside of the hospital.

I met people who were in higher leadership positions, mums, and former soldiers. But I met one elderly woman who told me of her experience as a child living through the Blitz, when Nazi Germany bombed London during World War II (WWII), while her father was killed in the D-Day battle in Normandy, France. She talked about when she dies, she wants her ashes to be scattered on his grave in Normandy. Telling me, “if I couldn’t have my father in life, I will have him in death”. She reminded me of my grandmother, who also lived through WWII as an army nurse.

The life stories you hear when you are in a psych ward are just normal lives that have been lived, and at different stages of life, their bodies and their nervous system just collapse. Sending them into a spiral of emotions, depression, nightmares, anxieties, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress disorders and so on. Some slip through the cracks, and others get admitted into facilities.

I sat eating dinner one night, and a new patient had come into the hospital. He had his mum and another woman with him. I couldn’t help but overhear his mum say, “No one is judging you here”. She was right. There would be no judgment from anyone in these places, because we are all going through something. We already feel as if we are at our lowest point in life, and we are at our lowest point. Being in a place like this really humbles you, and your perception of others changes a lot. In all the months that I have spent in psychiatric wards, I have seen people from different walks of life managing in a crisis. Some of the strongest people I have ever met were patients and often considered “frequent fliers”. Psychiatric wards are not just full of people who are “crazy” or “delusional”; they’re just your average person.

Psychiatric facilities might seem scary at the start, but you will actually find they are a safe place to heal. Whether you are admitted to public or private facilities, they are there when you need them, and there is no shame in that. The people and the environment are not as you would expect. Although the facilities have their pros and cons, the people are what make the experience of healing better.

If there was one piece of advice that I could leave, it is that if you are ever faced with needing to be admitted into a psychiatric facility, do it; you will find people who will truly understand you there. If you felt like you had no support before, you will find that support in a unit. It’s okay to be unwell, and it’s okay to be admitted to a hospital, because that is one step closer to recovery.