Why Do We Feel Envy Toward Success?

There’s a moment we’ve all experienced. We cross paths with someone who seems to have it all—achievements that shine like polished gold, milestones that feel light-years ahead of our own. And in that instant, a pang of envy seeps into our hearts. It doesn’t matter if their success was earned with grit and integrity. It doesn’t matter if there’s no hint of favoritism or shortcuts. The feeling is there, undeniable and uninvited.

Why does envy take the lead? Why is it the first emotion to surface when we see someone thriving? These questions aren’t just about the person we’re observing—they’re about us. They tap into something deeper, something raw and vulnerable. Let’s explore that.

The Mirror of Comparison

When we encounter success, it holds up a mirror. And that reflection? It doesn’t just show us who we are—it shows us who we aren’t. It reminds us of the goals we’ve postponed, the dreams we’ve shelved, the paths we didn’t take.

That mirror can feel harsh. It forces us to reckon with our insecurities, to confront the ways we might feel “less than.” And rather than sit with those feelings—rather than examine them—we turn our gaze outward. Envy becomes the armor we wear to protect ourselves from the sting of self-doubt.


The Scarcity Mindset

Envy thrives in a mindset of scarcity, a belief that success is a limited resource. It’s as if we think there’s only so much achievement to go around, and someone else’s gain diminishes our chances. But here’s the truth: Success isn’t pie. One person’s accomplishments don’t take away from the possibility of our own.

Yet, when we see someone excelling, it’s easy to fall into that trap. We start asking the wrong questions: “Why them and not me?” “What do they have that I don’t?” These questions don’t empower us—they imprison us. They keep us focused on what we lack, rather than what we can build.

The Weight of Our Stories

We all carry stories about who we are and who we’re supposed to be. These stories are shaped by our upbringing, our culture, and the messages we’ve absorbed along the way. They’re the silent scripts playing in the background of our lives.

When we see someone achieving more, those stories can feel threatened. “If they’ve reached that height,” we think, “what does it say about me? Have I fallen short?” It’s not just about their success—it’s about how their success challenges the narrative we’ve constructed for ourselves.


A Closer Look at Envy

Envy isn’t inherently bad. It’s a signal, a flare that tells us where our desires lie. When we feel envy, it’s often because we see something we want for ourselves. The problem isn’t the feeling—it’s what we do with it.

We can let envy fester, turning it into resentment or self-pity. Or we can use it as a catalyst, a reminder of what matters to us. When we feel that pang, we can choose to ask, “What is this trying to teach me? What dream is this pointing me toward?”


Moving From Envy to Empowerment

The journey from envy to empowerment isn’t about ignoring our feelings. It’s about embracing them with curiosity and compassion.

1. Pause and Reflect: When envy strikes, resist the urge to act on it immediately. Instead, take a moment to sit with it. Ask yourself, “What’s underneath this? What am I really feeling?”


2. Celebrate Their Success: This might feel counterintuitive, but celebrating someone else’s achievements can shift your mindset. It reminds you that success is possible—and that it’s worth striving for.


3. Refocus on Your Path: Envy pulls our attention outward, but growth happens inward. Use that energy to double down on your own goals, your own journey. What’s one step you can take today to move closer to your dreams?


4. Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is the antidote to scarcity. When you focus on what you have, rather than what you lack, envy loses its grip.

Reclaiming the Narrative

Feeling envy doesn’t make us bad people—it makes us human. It’s a natural response to a world filled with comparisons and expectations. But we don’t have to let it define us.

When we encounter success, we have a choice. We can see it as a threat, or we can see it as an invitation. An invitation to dream bigger. To dig deeper. To redefine what success means for us.

So, the next time envy whispers in your ear, listen closely. Not to the voice of doubt, but to the voice of possibility. Let it remind you of your potential, your resilience, your power. Because someone else’s success isn’t a reflection of your limits—it’s a reflection of what’s possible.