Maya Or Tzur
Bio
Hey-O!
Just a 26 y.o woman writing 'nd stuff. Articles, poems, prose.
See 'ya, little munchkins! 😊
Stories (21)
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My friend Sara. Content Warning.
When I was young, I was very serene. Quiet. Always hiding myself from people with my sallies in nature. But as years passed, something in me became reckless. Something has shifted. I have become someone I do not recognize, something I do not recognize. I still love nature. And that's the reason. That's the reason why I'm so frustrated. My favorite place has been taken away from me. My life has been shattered to pieces, scattered all over the place. My one friend has died there, and it hasn't been the same ever since. I'm filled with grief. With anger. I loved her. I loved her. I - I loved her... so much... she was my best friend I-I... She was such a kind soul! so beautiful... When everyone asks me "Hey, how are you?" Which no one does, but I want them to – my real answer would be, "I'm unwell." I can't go to this place anymore, to my real, chosen home. Ahhh such nostalgia... such magic, such beauty! Was there. Experienced there. Lived there. I go there in my mind, though not physically. I soul travel. I can see it so clearly: the comulonimbus clouds, golden when the sun sets. The azure skies. Those poplar trees, so amberish in autumn. I counted three near the lake. The rain came down in silver drizzles in autumn. In winter, soft snow fell slowly. In summer, the sky was filled with birds. Robins, fluff chested. Songbirds, of all kinds. Bald eagles occasionally, singulars each time. That place was magic. Pure magic. And bliss... it was like some kind of an earthly heaven, a haven. A place so stunning it leaves your mouth fall to the ground. And Sara made it better. Even - even better. So much life she infused to that already lively place. Laughter, common jokes, sharing her beautiful, quirky thoughts, her ideas. Who she was. Sara always used to say, "I don't belong here", referring not to our sacred haven, but to Alabama in general. "I mean, I like the people here. Even love some. But I don't completely fit. I'm like a piece of a puzzle that almost fits, but one bit is not where it's supposed to go. It's not my home. It's not where I belong. I belong where the sky is vast and the birds are always chirping. I belong here, with you. With my awfully shy black headed boy," she mussed my hair, "this will always be my home." Softly she said it, smiling gloomily. She was my forever home. I think of her German parents often. They were so nice and welcoming. I loved them as if they were my own parents, as if I was their own blood. I was, and still am, a misfit, a lonely kid. But not with them. With them I felt like home. Less lonely. Much, much less. They welcomed me unto their home. They have given me warmth, care. Sara always made jokes with me at their table, like we were siblings. And we were. We really were chosen siblings. But Sara died from a lightning strike near that lake at our sacred haven. I was almost struck, too. Almost went to heaven with her... if I even DESERVE a heaven. But Sara was an angel. She is already in heaven. In heav... *sobbing* Why does everything has to be SO DAMN HARD?!why am I losing my one person in life when everything else is so bad?! Gosh... I sure hope she's in a good place. She was an angel! She was an angel. An... oh my god... I feel so terrible. First my abusing parents, now this... GOD, WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME?! My God...
By Maya Or Tzur2 months ago in Fiction
We all need to cry
We all need to cry sometimes. Crying is part of life. Tears can be magic, falling softly, achingly, but it's a good ache, the one of letting go, of setting ourselves free. Give me one man that doesn't feel good when crying. What, because it isn't "manly", men are not supposed to cry?
By Maya Or Tzur3 months ago in Psyche
Hope is wherever you are
"Oh Harry, why won't you go out? There is a festival at Garden street. They're selling jewelry and beaded stuff. You can get that beaded alligator that you want. Come outside with me. It'd be fine!" "Sal, I can't. I have my inner world to tend to. It calls desperately for me to heal it. To be with it. To- to drown in it... I-I" he sighed, "You go. Have a great time. Go out without me, Sal. Go out." Sal was not her nickname. It was her name. Chest length hair, ember hued, slightly sheep curly (in such a good way! Not as an insult, the narrator clarifies), the girl was stunningly beautiful.
By Maya Or Tzur3 months ago in Fiction
The metamorphosis
t's not strange that caterpillars change to butterflies. Imagine: golden rays of sun. The small but feisty caterpillar bathes in its' ray. It thinks, "oh, I love it. The sun, the breeze, the friends that I have. The only thing missing: turning into something greater then my nowadays shape. To answer my calling. Bye, fellas, I'm gonna be BETTER." Because what is better, to be bitter or better? It's honestly not better to be bitter. A small pun that was. Anyway. The caterpillar shakes off the lies that it can't transform. That it will always stay the way it is. That it will always be stuck. That the past defines it. We are all stardust. We all have one life to live. We can't waste it. I mean, we can, but for what purpose? The caterpillar waits in its' chrysalis. Waits. It struggles. By struggling, nature makes it stronger. The once caterpillar breaks free. It is now a beautiful butterfly, with iridescent wings. It is happy. More happy then what it was. It now can fly! "Oh, the air in my wings! The birds I hear sing! I feel so light!" It thinks. The butterfly is satisfied now. It changed. The change was its' calling. For now it is free, it has earned the definition of freedom. It broke off the chains. We can break our chains too. We don't need to live lives of enslavement. Think of som of the words that bear the meaning of change, or that share the same essence vicariously: metamorphosis, transformation, evolvement, development, healing. Because changing is healing. Healing is changing. When you heal, something about you is different. New. You are clean, free, healthier, whole. When you respect life, life respects you. When you listen to your own heart, paths unfold before you. Illusions shatter. Patterns reshape themselves. When the false self dissolves, the truth reveals itself. First - heal, lastly - be satisfied with how life has run its' course, with how things are. Breathe. When you breathe, you get calmer. Sit in silence. That's where true revelations come from. Observe, like an artist. Nature. People. Processes. Your own thoughts. Make adjustments. Live boldly. Take one step after the other, and don't ever look down. Look up. Up at the skies, the clouds, the treetops. Up to God. Up where inspiration comes from. Up up up up up. Connect with the universe, with the infinite. Live with all your might. For if you'll hurt who you love, you yourself will get hurt. That's how change is attained. That's how, day by day, step by step, breath after breath, something better unfolds right before you. And you become free. You become the butterfly. Becoming the butterfly doesn't mean giving up on your identity. It only means that you are enhancing your identity. You're not diminishing yourself. You care for yourself. You tend your own garden. Because self care and change are intrinsically connected. When you care for yourself, you change. Washing your face thoroughly - your closed eyes, your neck, your ears, your temples, is a technique that I find helpful. Buying a meditation book and in general reading books is honestly eye opening, heart opening and brain developing. Preparing your own, healthy food. Going to nature. Doing Yoga. Walking on a treadmill. Doing sports. Those are all things that change you, habits that change you, develop a stronger, resilient you that is smarter, better, and in more peace. Those habits will rewire your brain. They will have you living the good life. You'll find richness in every step you'll take. You'll find more contentment in life. The thing is, when you want something that is meant for you, you can have it. People are like butterflies. It's not impossible to change, it's most possible to do so, and it is about respecting life and what it has to offer. It's about respecting yourself. Stay strong.
By Maya Or Tzur3 months ago in Psyche
