Thoughts.

To The One I couldn't Have

I know we were just friends in front of the world but in my heart, I knew from the start we'd either belong together or you'd be the one I cry about every single night. I loved every single part of you, I adored your goofy smile, loved you even at your worst but still couldn't find the best words to tell you that your name was all over my heart. So I was silent because I didn't want to lose my good friend and the person I love the most all together. So I buried my feelings for you pretending they'll fade away. You know what happens to the feelings that are buried? they grow. Oh did it had to watch you all day and never be able to tell you that I loved you. It was hell but I walked through it all with a smile. Friends don't look at you with a mouthful of forever, I wish you knew that. My heart bled on paper when you would look at her, the girl you loved. I wrote about you in my poems, I'd tell the world about you, I wrote you in songs that would fill my heart. I wished you would see a glimpse of us when you looked into her eyes, I wished you knew that my heart was torn between being your friend and losing you to someone else. You know, it's like the world was playing a cruel joke on me. Imagine finding love in your best friend only to see them love someone else. Imagine finding love and heartbreak at the same time. I know you're happy and I hope the best for you really. Wherever you go, I hope you find love in everyone you meet. Wharever you go, I hope you find home. Wherever you are, I hope peace embraces your heart. I have never known to hate the people I love when they don't love me back, so I'll keep loving you from a distance even if we never get a chance. I'll love you silently through my prayers and hope that someday when we're old, we can laugh about it sometimes and that this storm in my heart would have died away. I hope she gets to be with you for a long time, I hope that her love nourishes you. I know you'll never look at me the way you look at her. I'll never be her, but if only you could look in my heart, you'd know that even if the entire world could love you, they'll only love you a drop compared to my ocean of love for you