Bad habits
From the Green Room to Forever
I was on the dance floor when I spun around and noticed him standing at the bar, staring at me. He raised his glass, and I could read his lips saying, "join me?". I never do things like this. My mother always told me never to talk to strangers. I could tell even from afar he had a presence. I walked toward him, nervously biting my lip. He was about six feet tall, with tousled sable hair. As I got closer, I noticed he had piercing green eyes. When I approached him, he smelled of bourbon and musk. The scent was intoxicating. This was a real man, I thought. I had never seen anyone like him. He was wearing worn jeans and a black shirt, a little unbuttoned enough that I could see he was cut like a Greek god. He asked if I wanted a drink, which of course I said yes, but I should have said no. I've had one too many already. We finished our drinks and went back out on the dance floor. I guess my friends got tired, as I noticed they were now sitting down, giving me the thumbs up as I followed him. We danced all night, sweat dripping off of our bodies. As I writhed up against him, his mouth was all over me. He sunk his teeth into my neck, and my blood boiled. It wasn't painful, it was erotic. That's when I realized......
By Nicole Alvy5 years ago in Confessions
From Day One to Year One: A Sober Journey
I smoked the last of my stash, finished off the vodka bottle and drove seven hours to check myself into a drug and alcohol rehabilitation treatment facility, one year ago. Although I sensed change in front of me, I gulped down trembling fear, gripping the steering wheel tighter as the high wore off. I wanted to leave my past in the rear-view mirror, but my mind and body were still addicted looking back at me.
By David Jahr5 years ago in Confessions
my life
Since the dawn of my life, I was all alone who had been engaged with the seatbelt to compete in the race of this long journey which passes so fast and never repeats. Physically, I was raised carefully till now but mentally the feelings were like the water soaked in the desert. Today after passing 17 laps of years through the beginning, a desire and idea hit me hard to express my hidden emotions in the form of text. The trophy of freedom might have taken me a long, long way if I hadn’t met my friends who are generous, sarcastic and bonded strongly. Every day I have the big bang of ideas bursting in my nous. Certainly, the loops of ideas roll over an instantaneous smile fades away after I noticed that idea need a lot of hardships to bear. That’s the degree of creativeness and laziness I possess. Every evening when I am with my clan of friends in the long carpet of greenery extended longer than football pitch by the bank of the river, I feel like the infinite blue sky is wrapping me with informal gossips steadily circulating through my ears, accompanied by the cold breeze at the climax of dawn and release of night, is providing me with stimuli of pleasure. Sometimes money seems more important, sometimes people seem more important. Collaborating these feelings I get, Money, people, and all the things are equally essential inappropriate amount. Beneath my red flesh and concrete white pillars of bone, half a kilogram heart and Brian holds millions of feelings, emotions and knowledge. Growing up as the telephone turns into iPhone, the memories became Stories of Instagram, Emotions became emojis and dating turn virtual, sex became nudes exchange, all I endure is the unexpressed love of family. With no visual memory of my papa, no presence of mom, a day-off in a month from the hostel and unmanaged plans tightly compressed to be entertained in place of some weeks long. All these lines are the Preface I want to introduce about me and the emotions in this phase 2/7 of my whole life. After finishing high school and being back in my grandma’s home I am feeling a sense of uneasiness without a penny and the laziness wrapping me from all directions. Every time I feel like laziness is injected into my veins. The biggest and irresistible for tackling in everybody’s success is the laziness you bear. Though the idea of teaching haunted my mind I haven’t been able since who offers a job, as it's water in the functions. Sometimes I felt like a junkie dependent on somebody in the age where collective energy is at maximum in radar. The energy is only wasted on the puffs and talks I have enrolled through. The whole day long I showed up in my uncle’s shop as a calm down for my gluttonous mood with a plate of food on the hotel menu. Someday all I had in my body were water and smoke with venom like a tear, nicotine but still, it seems favourite and a ticket for friendship. Surfing through my Instagram and swiping right accidentally, a will to post a story arises within my senses. Then I wrote about my main problem but no one gives such interest. The line “Certainly and ending with the degree I possess” is the line I have written within a minute. Later that, night I wrote about the world or the situation I was in. Up to that my mobile had beep several times regarding the nice comments on my story. Though they were very short, they provide me with longer happiness. Some typed good ones while some texted nice and one humorously replied regarding the improvement of English with the three stories I’ve posted. the hangover was still on that morning and I was hopeless about what to do. I then started writing me but I hesitated. An hour later I continued and find myself delighted with the sentences and hidden emotions I carry. Then, I realized that I am capable of doing that. I showed it to some of my friends they replied ” I wish I could write like that” which widened my lips to portrait the joy I was on.
By Saurav5 years ago in Confessions
Cheers... Add to Cart
The knock at the door seems unnecessarily aggressive. I sit up 一 far too quickly given the wine I consumed last night 一 and trudge to the door. With each step, I try to recall what I’ve ordered lately. It will probably be whatever my lockdown-drunk self thought was useful three to seven nights ago. Most likely something I saw on TikTok or Instagram.
By Kirsty Lee Hutton5 years ago in Confessions
Instant Gratification
I WANT... I KNOW, I KNOW, I DON'T NEED IT! Seeing all these sales ads in my email -Daily barrage beckons me... NO! I say to myself, You KNOW you don't need another thing. SO MANY THINGS just sitting there, collecting dust! So many things , GOTTA HAVE THIS! Because I smile, I think... GET IT! If you want it. Why not?
By Bonnie JS Eglin5 years ago in Confessions
On Radical Transparency
The Story: The Story: I struggle with mental health and addiction. In the spirit of deconstructing humanity to it's core, I have to acknowledge the fact that there are many men and women who struggle with issues that I have not personally experienced. I am not a minority. I am white. My parents have money. I am not a member of the LGBTQ community (except for that one time & then another time & maybe a few more times after that-stay open to intimate and loving relationships, always-as long as there is proper communication & understanding). There are certain (many, many, more) struggles that I will never fully understand because I have not personally had to face them. I was born an American Citizen, in Illinois. I am not a victim of any type of childhood: emotional abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, or physical abuse. I acknowledge my privilege and take personal accountability for all of the times that I have used this privilege (wisely & unwisely) to save my own face. The awareness is there. I know that I cannot speak on behalf of these strong men and women. I cannot speak to the anger and sadness that must culminate due to the irresponsible and pitiful excuses for "human beings" (I use that term very, very, lightly) that inflict this type of pain onto any adult or child. For all of you men and women trudging through these excruciating circumstances, I see you and I hear you. I do not understand personally, however, I would be honored to be an ally in any way that I possibly can. I am always up for contributing to a cause that I care about in anyway that is possible for me at the time.
By Claire Geeee5 years ago in Confessions
Sweet Confections
Mia was feeling absolutely fabulous today. For the last 2 years, she had worked so hard to finally lose all that weight. Spending long hours on the computer for months had taken their toll on her body. All that sitting and little moving for weeks at a time lead to a slow increase. And it didn’t help that the food provided by work was delicious and plentiful, yet calorific. But when her knee started acting up, the doctor told her she needed to lose weight. “If you want to live to a ripe old age, you have to lose some pounds and get healthier” the doctor scolded. It was hard work, and Mia hated gyms and workout routines that meant she had to follow set schedules. There were other ways to get exercise that seemed more fun and freer of form. Bicycling along the beach paths, dance oriented classes, and water activities ( like water aerobics) got her burning calories and moving. Also, Mia realized she had been doing a lot of emotional eating to fill a void in her life and heart. Getting to the center of her mind matters allowed her to realize she used food to escape or “drown” her sorrows. All of the dietary plans, physical activity, and mental changes led to a healthy, steady loss of weight over these past 24 months. Now she knew she would never be as skinny as a 20 year old Mia, but she definitely liked herself and her body.
By Janet Freedland5 years ago in Confessions
Losing Cell Phones and other things...
I’ve lost many cell phones, some literally and some figuratively. When my first flip phone with "affordable" service from Cricket Wireless was temporarily lost, it led to many accusations thrown towards my 5th grade classmates. Only to be found in the depths of my bookbag just a few weeks later. Not too long afterwards though, it was lost forever.
By Vernon Macklin5 years ago in Confessions
My Weight loss Journey start
This is a tough thing for me to talk about. There is so much hate for those who are dealing with food addiction. I have been dealing with food addiction for so long I cannot remember a time when I was not addicted to food. The last few years I have been trying to deal with it. There has been plenty of times when I attempted to deal with and lose the extra weight. My biggest fear was being over 300 pounds until one day I discovered I was at my heaviest of 352 pounds. Which surprised me and I panicked and freaked out. Currently, I am at 323.4 pounds. Over the past few years, I keep bouncing between 310 and 330 pounds. I looked through what I have been doing and what been causing it to bounce. After some checking I noticed that I did better when I was keeping track of my eating then when I was not, so I am attempting once again to keep track and sticking by it.
By Brandi Lansdowne5 years ago in Confessions
