Solitude in the Park

“I wonder how busy the park is,” I mumbled to myself as I drove aimlessly on my day off from work. Cruising by, I curiously checked the parking lot for other souls. Remarkably, I was the only one. Even on a gorgeous day such as this! In a bittersweet moment, I pondered if I preferred a bystander’s company. Or should I savor the moment of solitude?

I decided on the second possibility. Being alone is very natural for me. However, company has their own purpose. I guess today won’t be a social hour, however. The sun shone down on the river like mirrored glass. Refracting the rays back to the heavens. The deep, electric blue hue of the water energized me. I briskly walked towards the pier ahead.

It was old and rickety, in stark contrast to the stunning natural display of the trees and sky. The whimsical clouds were fluffy like vanilla cotton candy. I sat on the bench alone. Alone sounds so dark and dismal… Not at all what I was feeling at the moment thankfully.

I soon settled into my own thoughts, meditating and observing nature. On the dock, I paused and sat on the bench by the water. I reached into my bag to get my bottled water which quenched my thirst. It sounded silly in the moment to say that all around me was inaccessible. Only a simple container held fluid for me.

I reflected on the river’s mysterious beauty and was then soothed. Staring, I wondered what was just under the water’s surface… This feeling resonated deeply within me. I noticed tiny, silvery fish flipping from the depths and it surprised me, just as my own thoughts do sometimes.

Having them leap into the air, brought attention to the thoughts I’d been suppressing. They tend to bubble up whether I like it or not out of necessity. What is beneath the surface still?

I dove deeper into my thoughts and imagined that I had stepped off the pier. Diving into the brackish water that was blue at first glance. These creatures in the river are reminiscent of my subconscious. These fish remaining under the surface are unlikely to ever experience air or land.

What thoughts have I suppressed? Are they safe where they are? Or should they be explored? Should I let my thoughts be preserved like these creatures I know to be brimming below the surface? The fish were safe from outside interference from the land dwellers. I’m sure the fish will continue living unchecked by humans. The sanctuary of my own thoughts married to nature in its pristine glory.

There was a brief moment of privacy before an older gentleman interrupted my thoughts. “Hello,” he said. Nothing more. Are these simple gestures confused as human connection, I pondered? “Hi-hi there,” I stammered back. It was the quickest reaction I could muster.

I decided it was then time to leave the park; the clouds were turning silver and then gun metal gray. I could smell the soil and grass in the distance. Becoming wet from the rain. “Goodbye!” I said awkwardly, before returning home.