Stassi Schroeder: The Gender Gap in Accountability

Stassi Schroeder. The #OOTD creator, the queen bee of SUR, the blueprint of the strong-willed woman. Many believe that Lisa Vanderpump's hit reality television show Vanderpump Rules would not have been nearly as successful without Nastassia Schroeder's strong opinions and intense personality.

We often see reality television as shallow, dismissing the people and the scenes as trivial and obtuse. But what if these dramatic (and sometimes produced) moments could actually teach us something?

Let's rewind to February of 2014. The entire cast of Vanderpump Rules meet for their Season 2 reunion. We previously learned about Jax's cheating scandals, Ariana and Tom officially announce their relationship, and Stassi is back home from her hiatus in New York. But one of the main talking points during this reunion was the affair between Kristen and Jax.

Kristen Doute and Jax Taylor have been two of the main personalities at SUR from the beginning of the series. Kristen and Tom Sandoval were in a relationship for seven years, and Stassi and Jax were together for approximately two years before the news of the affair was aired. Kristen vehemently denied the scandal when Jax decided it was time for everyone to know. While Sandoval seemed miserable in his relationship with Kristen, had previously cheated on her, and was enraged at her once the cheating had been announced, he found it fitting to direct much of his anger toward Stassi in the Season 2 reunion, to the point of her tearfully walking off of the set. When he sees her walk away, he states, "Go feel sorry for yourself, you're good at it." This is only the beginning of a long line of misogyny and blame toward women during the series.

Season 1: Stassi is blamed for breaking up the friend group when she chooses to break up with Jax after news of his cheating habits.

Season 2: News of Kristen and Jax's affair is aired. This news follows Kristen throughout many seasons to come, while Jax is not held responsible.

Season 3: At Scheana Shay's first wedding, we see Kristen and James Kennedy outside of the venue, arguing as they often did. We see a clip of Kristen punching James. What production chose not to air was James shoving Kristen into the bushes. It has now come to light that James has been known to be an abusive partner and even has a domestic violence charge against him. Yet, this scene is labeled as "Crazy Kristen" having a drunken, irate moment.

Season 4: Stassi's ex-boyfriend holds her sex tape as collateral to get his last paycheck from SUR, showing it to anyone who would watch. When Lisa paid the large sum of money he demanded, Stassi is blamed for being upset there was no agreement in writing that the tape would be erased.

As easily as I could continue on about the intricate and bizarre moments throughout each season, the picture is clear. Women are expected to explain, apologize, and atone without forgiveness. Men are expected to apologize with immediate forgiveness, be protected by others, and continue on without lasting consequences. Throughout the earlier seasons, Stassi is continuously ridiculed for wanting to separate herself from these people who have caused irreparable damage to her public image and self-esteem.

Stassi is only a small piece in this puzzle. The question is: when did we get so comfortable blaming women for everything?

This is not a new concept. We see this pattern embedded throughout history: the Salem Witch Trials, the Victorian-era label of female hysteria, the power imbalance of women in religious groups, and a plethora of other examples.

Although we are not being burned at the stake, unable to vote, or forced to be housewives anymore, we are not all the way to gender equity yet. Women are often punished for simply existing, playing the role of scapegoat for men. This idea is reinforced and encouraged in every facet of our lives whether we realize it or not. Men are applauded for taking their children to the pediatrician; a mother is expected to. Men are seen as powerful when in a position of leadership; women are bossy. There are no questions when men go out for the night; "Is Dad babysitting tonight?!" is the first question when a mother goes out. These perpetuated, subconscious ideas are not only unjust and morally questionable, but a societal failure. When we see women as a tool to erase responsibility for others, we dim the hard work that the women before us have done to create an equitable world for women.

This leads us to the final question: will we continue this work, or will we fall in line?