humanity
Humanity begins at home.
Raising a Family in a System of Division
I don't want to talk about the things that affect me or hurt me for others to say things like I'm so sorry you're going through this or you are so inspirational to me. When I speak about the hard topics I speak about them in hopes to provoke change. To provoke a new way of thinking and a new approach that will not only benefit me but benefit those around me also affected by the hard topics. I am not looking for sympathy. I'm not looking for a hand out. I am simply telling it as it is. I've heard things like what do you expect, you decided to subject yourself to discrimination by living in boonie town. Well my response to that is this; I have experienced discrimination in boney town and in very diverse populations. It makes no difference where I live, the discrimination will always be there because my skin will always be brown. I have had coffee thrown at me while being told go back to where you came from while driving in Toronto, Ontario, a very diverse area and plenty of people of color. I have had someone stop their car, come out just to throw racial slurs at me out of the blue, me just minding my own business, oblivious of this attack. I have been told I was: a coon, a monkey, a nigger, a drug addict, all in a very culturally populated area. I have had smoke blown into my face while standing in a bus shelter and told that the welfare system is corrupted because of people like me and the other niggers who don't pay taxes (Wasn't even on the system and paid my taxes). I chose not to have my children be subjected to racial slurs and tensions by removing myself from this area. The incidents happened more frequent than I could wrap my head around them. I wanted my children to have the same or similar advantages of the average Canadian child. Not the average black child but the average Canadian child. So I moved to the boonies. In the boonies my kids have been able to utilize the extras the inner city schools won't get, like a decent education, access to music, sports, technology that they wouldn't otherwise had gotten in an inner city environment. I raised my kids to be the best them they can be, not to be the best black kid they can be. Race has been such a big issue lately that it causes some uproar of conversations at my dinner table. It causes tension within my own household because of the varying responses towards it. I have been silent for a long time while I mend the hurt feelings of my kids from being told they couldn't possibly have done an A plus job on an assignment because people of your color cannot possibly have the understanding to complete such complex things. I have had to simmer rage between siblings who have varying views on how a racial incident should be addressed. The unequal treatment of black males verse black females. I have had to deal with unresolved feelings from my children when called niggers, monkeys or pretty for a black girl. My kids have triggered this post because I have always said I will protect my children no matter what and help them be the best they can be. I write this with feelings of disservice to my children for not teaching them how to be black while growing up. My eldest said to me that she was happy to not be taught to be different because it allowed her to see herself for who she is and what she is capable of rather than a black girl plus whatever the title is that may be added. She believes that because she is able to see herself for her and not limited by her skin she is able to fight through the labels and barricades that society tries to place on her. My children are thriving despite the racial attacks whether passively or aggressively thrown their way. Why do I write this then some may ask. I write this because the first insult/swear words that my youngest has ever dealt with is being told she's a nigger. I write this because instead of the typical conversation of counseling my child on why people say hurtful things I have to add racism to the hurtful things. I write this because my kids cannot go anywhere without me knowing where they are for fear that them being late or unaccounted for could mean they were lynched or arrested (yes I worry about that in Canada). I write this because they fight. We fight for everything and or paths are constantly blocked. I feel defeated most days. I don't know how many different ways I have tried to be of comfort to my kids through everything they go through. I feel broken most days but I still have to build them up. I don't know how to continue to do this for them, my heart is hurting and I feel broken. When I advocate for my kids or I expect policies to be followed, our human rights to be granted, I have been told you're asking the right questions and these are the questions that needs to be answered. So who is going to answer the questions that mothers and fathers of color have about the injustice they experience and now their children experience. How can we stop talking about change and actually change something. Report and statistics will not change the emotional damage racism has on our entire society. This is not a black problem this is an everyone problem. I'm going to just end this by quoting one of my favorite quotes: "Be the change you want to see in the world".
By Trish Nala8 years ago in Families
Forgiveness is an Act of Consciousness
Has it every occurred to you that you would fall in love and marry someone outside your religion/ethnicity? Let me tell you a little story about myself. My name is Michelle, I am 22 years old I was born and raised in Chicago, IL. I was raised in an old-fashioned European lifestyle where respect is everything especially in the Polish culture. I live an average life, a perfect family and a toy poodle named Mia. Everything sounds good right? Wrong have you ever felt like you have everything but yet you're still unhappy. People always telling you what to do because they want you to be successful and not struggle like they did in life to get where they are? It was killing me inside, it led to altercations that didn't need to happen, it led to hatred between parents and siblings. It made me feel like I was always the bad guy because I felt trapped. You felt unheard of. So one day your friend gave you an opportunity to let yourself be you, let yourself be free and do what you want to do, so you move to another state.
By Michelle Zubek8 years ago in Families
Thanksgiving
For years, Thanksgiving has been an afterthought in my family. Seemed like we always went from fun in September and October of Halloween directly into the festivities of Christmas in November and December. Aside from the Football games on Thanksgiving and the shopping afterwards, there wasn't much love for turkey day. We would go to an aunt's or uncle's house or my mom's cousin's house for the meal. No real traditions. No real celebrations. Just another day to get together with the family. My mom wasn’t big on cooking a Thanksgiving feast. I remember probably 2 or 3 times she hosted dinner for the day. The holiday never really had any significance for us. Just eat and watch football. Just like anything else in life, the day holiday took on a more significant meaning after the lose of my mom, which in turn helped to build my relationships with my family.
By James Roller8 years ago in Families
Common Practices We Need to Stop
Nowadays everyone has Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or other social media. We're all used to seeing articles of people being offended one way or another. For a long time women have been told what to do, where to go, and what time our husbands or boyfriends want their food ready. Well recently a new trend of shaming breast feeding mothers has appeared. Mothers in public areas are being told to leave or to stop breast feeding their child.
By Bailey Simpson8 years ago in Families
The Story of Me and Mine
Hello. My name is Chloe Burke. I am 19 years old and a mother of two. My name is nothing more then a name to other people. My whole life I grew up with people not exactly knowing who I was or where I came from or what my purpose was. Well here's my purpose. When I was nine months old I was put up for adoption in the state of Nevada in Las Vegas after my biological father had tried to kill me by hitting me over the head with a hammer. I was hospitalized at Sunrise children's hospital for about a month. My case worker was Nancy Burke. Married to Steven Burke. She spent almost every day with me, getting to know me, falling in love with me, of coarse this is what she has told me because I was too young to remember anything at that age. Later on through the months my case worker soon turned into who I call my adopted mother. I was put under their care as foster parents and three years later was officially adopted into their family. Little did I know that my life was about to turn in to a living hell. My father was a very religious man a man who believed that everything happens for a reason and that everyone of his children should be baptized into his church. My dad is LDS. My mother on the other hand wasn't very involved with God or really any spiritual being of that matter. She believed that whatever happens happens and that was that. At the age of five I was introduced to the Mormon church and out into what they call primary sunbeams.
By chloe burke8 years ago in Families
Orphan
Your baby dies unborn. Unloved. Fatherless. It’s OK because its mother never really wanted it anyways. “We’ll get through this together,” your boyfriend tells you. You’re not even sure if it was his to begin with. It doesn’t matter. It's been two weeks since you’ve seen him. It’s Valentine’s Day. You’re alone.
By Aliza Dube8 years ago in Families
Stress at a Young Age?
Have you ever seen anyone that was so stressed out that they changed, including yourself? As I remember as being a young girl and helping my mom watch my younger brothers, I have seen it a lot in my family and friends to identify it. To see anyone you love go through harsh times is not fun to see nor tempting to bring out of the blue, mostly being at the age of four. Looking back, I had been affected and now look at me, my emotions take control of me more than it should.
By Putting It Out There8 years ago in Families
Unexpected Miracle
Living your life as a teenager is hard enough... especially when your life gets turned upside down within nine months. As a kid I was the social butterfly, until my brother turned on me. Growing up with an addict brother was different. But I never let it get me down, I still went to friend's houses, birthday parties, and skating rinks with my friends. Then one day after school, my mom had to work late and my dad was always at the shop till at least 9 o’clock. But I thought my brother was home so I was good. Then an hour later, he comes barreling through the front door like a bat out of hell, screaming at me for making a mess. I could tell he wasn't right. In his eyes there was nothing. Like being in a crowded room, where you don’t know anyone. The more anger he had in his eyes the closer he stepped towards me. Finally I ran in to the wall, no where else to run to. Then it happened. He struck me with all his strength. Over and over again I felt his whole body weight hit me over and over again. The one I was supposed to be able to look up to, the one I thought I could trust, turned on me. Made me his personal punching bag for the night.
By Hanah Evans8 years ago in Families
