Humor
The Aliens That Laugh at Us
How often do you think your workplace or living situation would make for a good comedy or drama? Well let me tell you about the Reticula Alliance. The Reticula Alliance is an alliance of billions of star systems throughout the universe. Some are billions of years more advance than Earth while others are only a few hundred. They share culture, history, language, science, entertainment and much more between each other. They do find human entertainment interesting but their studies of the billions upon billions of worlds they have studied have shown no planet that has not united as a whole after a century pass their industrial revolution ever colonizing outside their star system and very few make if a thousand years after the Industrial Revolution or at least they knock themselves back centuries through climate change, social upheaval and war. They give humans a 0.00012% chance of ever making it out of their system.
By Ferrari King3 years ago in Fiction
The Real Uncensored Story of Ogopogo
Legend has it — and fake news has been trying to bury this story ever since I made a meal of one those, particular, Kelowna inhabitants — that I lurk just off the coast of Knox Mountain, in this sort of bay, a wee bit from a place called: Paul’s Tomb. It may be, for this reason, that Kelownafornians erected a sculpture of me and then promptly sank the darn thing into the water, at a depth of 25 feet. But, anyhow, it is often here, upon the side of the gorge, where the unfortunate would-be trekker might just lose his or her footing, and, quite unceremoniously, fall from the jagged ledge — and plummet into the cool, dark, waters below. Occasionally, it is here, too, that I happen to snatch one of these Kelownafornians by the ankle and swiftly drag them with me far, far, down into the depths below, whilst he or she is still squirming like spawning salmon during the month of September.
By Delusions of Grandeur 3 years ago in Fiction
The Samhain Chronicles: Ch. 15
Danny lay there as still as a corpse under the covers. His heart thudded faster against his ribs with every step the intruder took closer to his bed. The room was pitch dark save for the sliver of pale moonlight that crept in through the cracks in the shutters, shielding the intruder's identity...not that Danny would be able to see them very well anyway without his glasses. Soon however, he was able to make out a silhouette in his peripheral vision, standing directly over him. He tried to control his breathing and lie as motionless as possible, pretending to still be asleep. If he could surprise them, there was a chance - however slim - that he could overpower his attacker before they carried out whatever dastardly deeds they had come to enact.
By Natalie Gray3 years ago in Fiction
Agency of the 5th World Head Mission 5: Code: Red (Remix Version) Part 2: The Battle of the Agency
Previous Mission First Mission <Original Plotline by Jeremiah and Nic Ellison I do not own Club Penguin, Roblox, or Super Smash Bros. Brawl. They belong to their respective owners with respect to all other character ownership rights.>
By Jeremiah Ellison3 years ago in Fiction
My Aunt Jackie Part IV
They fingerprinted me after I was strip-searched. Then threw me into a cell with a female Kramer from Seinfield. RuPaul's female twin, with a beard and five tattoos on her breast. Which was showing. Along with two other ladies-of-the-night, who had more holes on their bodies than the Ozone layer. A jewel in each hole. Someone painted their faces with more colors than a rainbow in the rainforest. I had six hours or less for someone to see my sheet ladder, and I had a feeling Mom would need an IV to swallow this.
By Annelise Lords 3 years ago in Fiction
Chapter Seven: A Different Perspective
“Come on, we need to get you out of here.” quickly looking around and pulling out my lightsaber, I twist the knob on the handle; adjusting the length of it. After doing that, I ignite it and try to cut Darryl’s binders, only to have my lightsaber extinguish. “What the...” pulling his hands closer I see some sort of energy surrounding it and I grit my teeth. That bounty hunter must have known I was a Jedi. That means, Aydgage sent them or decided to go after the bounty Revan put out. Darryl lets out a low, pained moan. I look at his face, to gauge how much pain he is in. Sweat is all over his face and down his neck, his eyes have now closed and I can feel nothing but regret coming from him. “Darryl? I need you to talk to me.”
By Sweets Ameli3 years ago in Fiction
Body Hugger
Whenever and wherever the sales pitch was heard, Dave the Gadget Lover took it personally. If they said it was all the rage and a real must have, then Dave had to have it. He was always a sucker for a new gadget, a new toy with which to amuse himself. With a high paying, low stress job in the public service and only himself to feed, Dave had more than enough disposable income to accumulate the latest and greatest scientific novelties and technological marvels. He had a wonderful time with his collection of innovative time-wasters. They called them all time-savers but years and years of pouring good money down the gurgler had taught him that they saved him no time and cost him a packet of money.
By D.A. Cairns3 years ago in Fiction
