Satire

Calling Moscow - 4
The following conversation took place on November 10, after a federal judge rejected executive privilege for Trump’s White House documents in relation to January 6 riots.
By Lana V Lynx4 years ago in Fiction
Brutus' Misconceived Fall From Grace
Throughout Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, series of various circumstances are often misinterpreted for the worse and illustrate the blatant ineptitude of characters, resulting in the eventual downfall of many cast members across the board. Senator Cicero’s words on how “men may construe things after their fashion, clean from the purpose of the things themselves” speaks volumes on this matter, accurately describing how people often misconstrue and take great advantage of these opportunities with their benefit in mind and without the proper wherewithal to think beyond face value (1.3.33-36). The sheer inability of characters to grasp the bigger picture is what leads to their demise, highlighting how ill fit the ruling class is to properly officiate Rome. This especially holds true when analyzing the events involving Brutus being manipulated by the instance of Caesar falling in public’s eye as a sign for Rome beginning to crumble under his tyrannical rule, the forged letters to engage in the collective murder plot, and the obsequious cheering of plebeians.
By Josh Cook4 years ago in Fiction
Residents of St. Paul, Minnesota Unhappy to Learn They Used as Consolation for friend Complaining About Trip to Omaha, Nebraska
The close to 300,000 residents of St. Paul, Minnesota were shocked and saddened to learn they were recently used as an example to console a friend complaining about an upcoming trip to Omaha, Nebraska. The conversation between longtime friends was focused on an entirely unrelated topic when small talk about recent travel unexpectedly changed to a serious discussion of upcoming business trips. “I have to go to Omaha for a week in May” said one in a tone of sadness and regret. The other responded by noting “That sucks but I have to go to St. Paul next week for a conference.”
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Fiction
Gaming is my Super Power
Alex Roth had a normal office job, crunching numbering for a tech company. On his off days, he would never leave his apartment because he was too busy gaming. He spent so much time online that he once played straight through the weekend and almost missed work the following Monday.
By Nicholas McKenna4 years ago in Fiction
The real story behind BMW's Ultimate Driving Machine slogan
As a newbie copywriter, I am always being told to keep it simple (stupid). Clarity is the best policy. We don’t want funny, or obtuse, or abstract. So I go all Ronseal* and refrain from tapping into my (questionable) creative talent and stick to simplicity and clarity.
By Gary De Cloedt4 years ago in Fiction
Declaration of War
Many years have passed since the last uprising. The youth of the western land of the county who had once run amok, clean heads scorched in the sun with their blades swinging wildly, have forgotten their now rusted weapons buried in the hearts of their homes. Now those youth settle for their mundane chores; taming small house-beasts, teaching their offspring the proud old art of folding laundered garments, and participating in the ancient tradition of pitting energetic children against each other for sport.
By Emily Dickerson4 years ago in Fiction
Fridging Women
The gaps that separate every house on Ewe Street from its neighbours are a precise and identical ten strides of borderline-neon lawn. So too is this the case in Mare Street to the right and Gilt Avenue to the left. Each stands a concrete oasis with arms opened wide for whatever middle-class socialite has the nerve to temper feuding gossip without the gall to challenge the yearly Christmas decoration expectations. The sort of beauty to be found along that road is nothing if not meticulous and orderly – those who seek refuge in Ewe Street come to the sweet epiphany that heaven is simple, unchanging, and always bending to the ebbs and flows of Better Homes and Gardens magazine covers.
By Abby Cameron4 years ago in Fiction
Please Don’t Read This
Please don’t read this. Probably some click bait huh. Yeah I’m one of those who probably got baited. That’s what you might be thinking. But really. Don’t read this.
By Memoirs of a Random Dude4 years ago in Fiction
Death, Bless the Lonely Souls
I have screwed a couple of witches. I try my damndest not to fuck with them, but their appeal is irresistible. What is a life well lived? What does that mean? If you don’t know, you should mind your business and let me enjoy a quiet death, the way no one expects me to welcome it. I don’t even know what to expect in life. Everyday I struggle to defeat days, nights immortal suicide. Haunting like a problem I wasn’t supposed to solve, like a secret that hopefully won’t be found even in, or after death to keep myself respected and beloved.
By Grizzly Gentleman4 years ago in Fiction
Tony Chestnut
Tony picked up the bloodied stump of his former partner’s arm. He looked down at the now rather deformed body of the man who went to great lengths to take him down without his knowledge.
By Monika SMITH4 years ago in Fiction
Despite Not Having Found a Mate, Local Man’s* Soul Fairly Well Satisfied with Life
Local man (not to be confused with ‘area man’, a licensed, copyrighted, and trademarked term of the The Onion and theonion.com) Eric Feeter’s soul was said to be fairly well satisfied with how things were going in general despite 30+ years of not having found a mate. Even though many souls are said to require a mate to achieve happiness Eris’s reportedly made peace with it’s own situation many years ago. Instead of finding joy and life satisfaction through a mate, Eric’s soul has obtained a similar level of fulfillment through a passion for collecting comic books and paraphernalia related to the 1980s television series CHiPS featuring Erik Estrada as officer Frank Pancherello.
By Everyday Junglist4 years ago in Fiction
The Teal Macaw
The big city. This is where people go to dance on one side of the law or the other; and the pigeons at least have a park while other birds have cages.
By Kent Brindley4 years ago in Fiction