Thawed

The sled skidded around the lake behind Jeremy, the kids throwing their heads back laughing. Dean was holding Delila’s waist tightly, squeezing her new ridiculously pink coat, as she bounced around with joy. Jeremy was sticking to the edges of the lake even though the kids were begging for him to do something more exciting. The coffee cups’ warmth seeped through my gloves as I watched. Jeremy stopped in front of me, obviously needing a break, leaning on his knees as the kids yelled for him to go again! That was the last time I laughed. The last time my cheeks ached of happiness.

***

“That day plays over and over in my head.” I allowed the words to fall out of my mouth as I stared out the window at the local pond. I fumbled my thumbs in my lap.

“What day?” The psychologist encouraged. Maintaining a blank clinical look.

My hands began to shake. A tear landing on my knuckle, I watched as it made its way to the end of my finger and dropped to the floor. Disappearing. Disappear…ing.

“Can you explain to me what day you are talking about Amy?”

The words barely register.

My eyes and ears focusing on Delila’s pink jacket, Dean’s big smile and Jeremy’s exhaustion. He loved those kids. He loved our little family.

“Amy? Amy?” The echo drew me back. “Amy?”

“Umm, ye…yes?” I readjusted my position in the armchair. Deep breath, my mind encouraged. The psychologist cocked her head examining my rugged existence.

“What day were you talking about?” They encouraged me once again while handing me a mug of tea. I stared at it, at the steam as it danced off the surface.

***

The smoke from the chimney had started to dance swiftly against the grey sky, that had began to settle in. Jeremy had taken Delila for a skate, holding her in front of him. Dean was able to skate by himself at that stage.

***

I looked right into her crystal blue eyes “The day they disappeared.”

“What makes you say disappeared?” the voice smooth and calm as the question seeped over me. I closed my eyes.

***

Nooo! No, No, No. Jeremy. Jeremy! My fists collided with the surface of the ice, my hands no longer warm but bloody, torn to the bone as I attempted to crack the surface. Noooooo! Jeremy! Delila! Dean! I ran back to the hole that sat silently in the middle of the lakes' icy surface. Looking deep into the heart of the lake. I plunged my arm in, flailing around, trying to find anything… absolutely anything. My hand caught something, something heavy and I yanked on it pulling out one bright pink coat.

***

I clenched my fists. “Because they disappeared!” I screamed at the psychologist before collapsing to the ground.

Silent they sat there, as I allowed the soft carpet to calm my trembling body.

“Are you referring to the three people that you say you saw drown in the lake 12 months ago?”

“Yes. The day they… died.” I gave in…

“Ok, can you tell me a bit more about who these people were to you?”

“They were my family!!” I started to pace. My head shaking. My eyes rolling.

“Amy, you need to calm down.” The voice remained unaltered.

“Calm down?! Calm down?! No-one believes me! No-one cares!” My cheeks strained as I aimed my anger at them.

“We care, your sister cares.”

“No! No! My sister doesn’t care! She put me here! She wants me locked away!”

“Amy, she is just concerned about you.” The person paused “We are concerned about you.”

***

I rushed to our house on the lake and shoved triple zero into the plastic frame. It dialled…

“Triple zero what is your emergency?”

“I need help! I need help!”

“Ok madam, what is your location?”

“Umm, the lake house. Wait no the lake... umm umm” panic had overcome me. My eyes fixated on the hole in the ice hoping for movement, hoping for a miracle. Nothing…

“Ok madam, can you give me a specific lake?”

I couldn’t respond. I felt hopeless so I left the phone hanging from its yoyo cord.

“Madam? Madam? hang on I am tracing it ….”

I was back at the gaping hole that swallowed my heart.

**

“You? How are you concerned about me?”

“You were found in the middle of a frozen lake almost hypothermic.”

“Yes, because my family drowned!”

“Remember Amy? You never had a family..”

“Nooo, no, no, no. I had a husband and two kids.”

“No Amy that was your sister ... you lived alone.”

Someone knocked on the door … it wasn’t a usual knock, it sounded urgent and demanding. The psychologist opened it and an officer walked in.

“Excuse me! You can’t come in here I am in the middle of a session.”

“Not anymore you’re not.” The officer looked young maybe a fresh newbie, and he looked straight into my eyes. “Madam, will you come with me please?”

The voice seemed familiar. I stood slowly and followed the officer through the building, going through doors and corridors I had never seen before.

“Where are we going?” No answer came but I continued to follow like a lost puppy. The corner rounded to two large red doors and the officer stopped. I looked at him and at the door and continued walking. He stayed by the entrance, a mere mail man.

“Amy?” The voice came from a thick set man with a bobble head like, friendly face. He had an unusually large nose that matched his untameable moustache.

“Yes that’s me.”

“That’s good. I suppose you are wondering why we have brought you here.”

“To tell me I’m lying, like everyone else thinks, I assume.”

“Well I’m sorry you think that way but we are actually here to help you.” I could feel my eyes grow.

“What?”

“We believe you Amy.”

I think in that moment my eyes twinkled. I suddenly felt understood. I felt as though I had been frozen all this time and now I had thawed. The feeling of relief tickling my fingers and toes.

“We discovered three bodies that were found in a lake in Tasmania. The one you claimed that you had a house at, where you claimed your family drowned.”

I couldn’t speak, my throat had seized. I just listened.

“We have photos of them for you to identify, if you are up for it?”

I looked at him a tear running down my cheeks. All I could manage was a nod.

“These images are graphic and if it is too much, I need you to tell me. They are from two days after the incident report. The day the lake had fully thawed.”

I continued to nod.

“Ok right this way.” He smiled and led me down another hallway.

My step seem a little lighter, there might be an end to this fluorescent day and night after all.

“Ok Amy, take a seat.” He gestured to the seat opposite. I forced myself to do so.

“You ready?”

I nodded.