comedy
Comedy and humor in the sexuality space.
Slippered! - Chapter 9
Slippered! – Chapter 9 After a very long and leisurely lunch and a walk in a nearby park, Ying and Cherry Lin sauntered hand in hand back towards town. As they once again approached the road leading to the little Bistro, Ying's attention was drawn to a middle-aged geezer who suddenly raised his left arm, as though in greeting. Ying raised his own arm in automatic response, wondering who on earth the man was, and was surprised to receive a snarl for his pains. The man tugged at his elevated arm with his other hand, jumped into a Rover (latest model, automatic transmission, Ying' s mechanic's mind noted) and screamed off down the road with raised arm poking through the open sun roof.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Slippered! - Chapter 8
Slippered! - Chapter 8 In the room next door, Slipper awoke under the distinct impression that he was witness to an attempted murder. At least, that's what the noise coming from the other side of the wall told him. In between the crash of toppling machinery and muffled curses, a series of shrill screams suggested that he really ought to think about leaving. Although, on the other hand, agonised exhortations to a ‘stupid fucking bitch’ to ‘put my sodding leg back,’ suggested instead that he might be better advised in hiding in case the 'stupid fucking bitch' caught him leaving and took his own leg off.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Slippered! - Chapter 7
Slippered! - Chapter 7 “Knock it off, Carmen,” complained Harris, “I've got to get this furniture moved.” Carmen twisted his hair around her forefinger. “Never mind the furniture,” she said lazily, assuming a theatrically languorous posture, “Move me. Make the earth shake. Bring the walls crashing down about our ears.” She laughed.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Slippered! - Chapter 6
Slippered! – Chapter 6 After a disturbed night's rest, Ying pulled up outside the 'Spring Roll' restaurant just as Kwan drew away after making his arrangements with Lin. There was something familiar about the flashy limousine he saw disappearing around the corner that Ying just couldn't place, which irritated him. He was not one to forget a car. Anyway, he had a more pressing problem on his mind at the moment. Cherry Lin's curry. The events of the past night must have had a lot to do with it but, this morning, he had a gut like a stretched inner tube. He let himself in through the side door. Cherry's father stood gabbling rapid Cantonese into a telephone and acknowledged Ying' s semaphored greeting with a raised hand. Although he was not of the 'brotherhood', Ying was guardedly tolerated by the family as a worthy suitor for their youngest daughter. Cherry was very much the modern young woman. The Lins recognised that their ways were not hers, so gave her her head. All the same, Ying was always conscious of a sense of 'not belonging' in the closed community that made up the Chinese enclave in the south-west. Still, Cherry made up for that. Except for her bleedin' curries. He pressed a hand to his midriff as yet another eructation made its presence audible.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Slippered! - Chapter 5
Slippered! – Chapter 5 To all intents and purposes he had. During breakfast, which the group took at a communal table, Hal had sketched in for Freddy the commune's ideals. He had leaned forward earnestly across his plate. “What we stand for here, Freddy, is Universal Love. We strive for unity with the Cosmos. We love everyone and everything, Freddy. Petal, here, she loves me; she loves Zip, over there; Zip, he loves Sheila; Sheila loves me. Me, Freddy? Me? I love …you. He placed a hand over Freddy's arm and shook it gently.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Slippered! - Chapter 4
Slippered! - Chapter 4 While Carmen slept the sleep of the almost sated, and Harris had finally collapsed - Ovaltineless - onto his bed, Freddy Lappit propped open his eyes looking vainly for somewhere to stay the night. He had turned off the motorway some time ago, in a bid to shake off his pursuers. The events of the past twenty-four hours were beginning to catch up with him, and an overwhelming lassitude was about to descend. In the darkness he had taken a wrong turn, somewhere, and was hopelessly lost. At least, that had one redeeming feature: the Kwans were now not likely to find him. What bothered him was how they had got on to him at all. As far as he could remember, he had never mentioned cousin Archie to either Sally or Lisa. It was an irritating mystery.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Slippered! - Chapter 3
Slippered! - Chapter 3 At the same time as Freddy had picked up his second puncture that day, Melsham wiped tomato soup from his moustache with the back of a forefinger and picked up his wine glass. He waved it carelessly at Slipper, sloshing a few drops across the table cloth. “Slipper, move your things out of the Gate House, will you?” he demanded loudly “I'm putting your quarters in the North Wing now.” His voice rang around the cavernous dining room, causing Slipper to wince, as much at the Earl's familiarity with servants at table as the import of the message.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Slippered! - Chapter 2
Slippered! - Chapter 2 Carmen, the Hon. Lady Lappit and bane of her father's life, watched the sun sink behind the distant hills of Houndsmoor, and hitched her skirt down over dimpling thighs as she pushed herself up against the hay bales. She picked pieces of straw from her hair and turned a jaundiced eye on the heaving figure beside her, wheezing face down in the straw like an Olympic marathon runner in final extremis. She liked her men young, strong, healthy and often. Her partner of the moment fulfilled the first three criteria, at least. On a rating of 1-10 she ranked his score at four and-a-half, with E for Effort - not a bad score to Carmen's exacting standards.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Slippered! - Chapter 1
CHAPTER ONE The 21st century had come late to Staddon Hall - but it came with a vengeance, and a new hand on the rudder with plans which Slipper - steward, family retainer, butler and, at times, wet-nurse - took both as a personal slight and a blot on the escutcheon of the family honour. First and foremost in Slipper’s thoughts were the new Earl’s antecedents. “A butcher! A common tradesman!” as he took every opportunity to vehemently describe him to Brandybutt, head gardener and Slipper’s unlikely closest confidante amongst the few remaining staff. In fact, Slipper looked on the new overbearing, coarse - and lewd - Master and his grand plans with nothing short of open hostility. “The end of an era,” he thought glumly, regarding his friend’s slumbering form by the fire in Slipper’s quarters in the Old Gate House. Then, taking a firm grip on his resolve: “But not if Reginald Slipper has anything to do with it!”
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Trope Tripe
In true Woke tradition, a trigger warning is appropriate for this piece. Trigger Warning The following material contains words that will be extremely offensive to some, involving homophobia, transphobia, fat shaming, racial stereotyping, body dysmorphia, disablement, implied sexual practices, cultural appropriation and paedophilia by association. If any of the above are likely to infringe upon your personal liberties, rights and sensitivities when reading them … grow up for Christ’s sake! To the rest of us it’s just good old fashioned fun. Nobody dies. God Almighty!
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
Sting in The Tail
There are environmental activists, and there are environmental activists. And then there was Sid Smith. Sid was more of your actual tree hugger. In fact there was one tree deep in the forest that used to be Sid's favourite. That it had a conveniently placed knot hole was quite by the by and no-one's business but Sid's until a nest of wasps took up residence, unbeknown to him. Naturally, they took great exception at this brazen intrusion on their chaste privacy. When, after a few days, the swelling (and the barely controlled hilarity of the A & E Team) had subsided, Sid was a changed man in more ways than one. For instance, the mere sound of buzzing was liable to bring on an incipient attack of the hives and an instinctive shrinkage of the extremities in the nether regions that temporarily lent him the physical attributes of true gender fluidity. Which, for Sid, was an interesting condition given his predilection for the more extreme forms of sexual gratification. Not only that, the whole experience set him on the path to improve the lot of fellow introverted experimenters like himself.
By Malcolm Twigg3 years ago in Filthy
