satire
Geek satire, comedy, and all things satirical in the geek universe.
Best Places to Hide During a Zombie Apocalypse
With pop culture’s incessant interest in zombies, the undead hype has exploded into living rooms across the world with TV shows and movies like the Walking Dead, Fear of the Walking Dead and the always classic Night of the Living Dead. These TV shows and movies are becoming more and more realistic, almost too real. Zombies have dominated science fiction for years. But we know they don't actually exist, right? Wrong. There are several real-life diseases that could make you act like a zombie. Some diseases like Sleeping sickness, Rabies and Necrosis show signs that are eerily close to what you’d expect a zombie to be like. Living in our world right now almost feels like everything is upside down. I mean come on, Donald Trump is an actual candidate for presidency so it would be no surprise if the next worldwide outbreak was a bunch of zombies. Anything is possible at this point. Last time I checked the zombies weren’t walking the streets but if they do, here are the best places you should hide during a zombie apocalypse. Every location on this list of zombie hideouts have their pros and cons but be reassured they would be your best bet.
By George Gott9 years ago in Geeks
Worst Super Powers
As a kid your parents and teachers constantly reiterate to you that you are special. The trouble is when you grow up, you actually aren’t that unique like a beautiful snowflake. Yes though beautiful, snowflakes are not actually unique. Perhaps this feeling has crushed you. It sure crushed me. To some it has caused you to say to the world ‘F*** it! I’m going to get high or go do some gardening.’ But your mind wanders and is always doubting the doubters. At times this thinking has led your mind to daydream in which you save a lady trapped in a tower or you organize a revolt against the capitol city with your bow and arrow in your coal-mining town during in some future dystopian land. But alas it's just some daydream, or is it? What if you were actually special? What if some inexplicable event happened that rendered you different from the masses or you discover later in life you actually are unique, allowing you to possess abilities above and beyond everyone else? The creators of super heroes have spoon-fed this narrative to angsty humans for millennia, probably. I’m sure there’s some study out there but I can’t be bothered right now. Do your own research! It’s been done so much that a new cultural trope has risen: the lame superpower. Tragic, comical, tragicomic (yeah I made it up), the superhero who fails so hard it marks a fine breed amongst character types: pegged for greatness, destined by an unnecessary or inconvenient super power to fail. Below, we have compiled our ten worst superpowers and the characters that wield them.
By George Gott9 years ago in Geeks
Best Comic Relief Characters
One of the oldest staples in movies is the comedy relief character. Especially in darker movies, the comic relief character serves to provide levity in times of dire straits and, if used correctly, they can be the highlight of the movie, and usually tend to be fan favorites. There’s a fine line to walk with a comic relief character, and although many of them can be annoying, these are the comic relief characters that we think did the best job of serving the role while being a memorable part of their respective films.
By Geeks Staff9 years ago in Geeks
What Meds Should the Suicide Squad Be On?
The August 2016 release of Suicide Squad brought a new brand of insanity that has taken the world by storm and set the internet ablaze. The Joker wouldn’t have it any other way. Jared Leto has taken over the role as the iconic clown prince of crime, using his method acting to take things to a whole new level. According to director David Ayer and co-star Will Smith, Leto never came out of character between takes. He even went as far as giving twisted gifts to his cast mates like a dead rat to Margot Robbie (Harley Quinn) and real bullets to Will Smith (Deadshot). In fact, the filming of Suicide Squad was so intense that David Ayer recruited an on-set therapist to help the cast keep their sanity during the production. Which had us thinking: what kind of drugs should the Suicide Squad be on?
By Isaac Shapiro9 years ago in Geeks
Funniest Dumb and Dumber Scenes
The year was 1994. While Serbia continued to bomb its own citizens in the regions of Bosnia and Herzegovina, two starry-eyed brothers who at one time wrote on Seinfeld made their directorial debut. Lloyd Christmas is dumb. His best friend and roommate Harry Dunne is also dumb, but slightly less so. Both struggle to survive in society. They go on a road trip to return a woman’s suitcase and find adventure/capers. Dumb and Dumber would gross $247 million at the box office and go on to inform the international comedic sensibilities. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it: this was the mentality as the Providence, Rhode Island brothers’ road trip comedy was the film that launched three other road trip comedy films, two of which also began in Providence. Kingpin (1996), There’s Something About Mary (1998), and Me, Myself & Irene (2000) followed the Dumb and Dumber model to varying degrees of success. The fact that the comedy bros Peter and Bobby Farrelly could sell such similar movies to major Hollywood studios four times is a testament to their landmark film. It’s one of our favorites and below we have compiled its superlative moments.
By Henry Kronk9 years ago in Geeks
Best Worst Love Triangles
Triangles are formed by connecting three different points. While all angles must add up to 180 degrees, they need not be equal. While three humans must be present, in mainstream Hollywood, it seems that one of them must be a woman and two must be men. With the possibility of a ménage a trois hanging in front of the viewer’s snout like a carrot on a stick, these romantic constructs have been the bread and butter of romance narratives around the world. They’re just so dang topical: ladies get tickled by the prospect of two shirtless guys getting sweaty and duking it out in the mud pit to win her hand—guys love any excuse to get shirtless and duke it out in the mud pit for some deferred and unimportant payoff. Because this narrative still appeals to wide audiences, writers and actors can just mail it in. Check out our list of the best (worst) love triangles.
By Stephen Hamilton10 years ago in Geeks
Worst Superhero Movie Flops
From The Avengers to The Dark Knight to Captain America: Civil War, most superhero movies of the 21st century gave both fans and critics plenty of action and excitement. Unfortunately, not every superhero receives the best directors, writers, actors, and production value to lead to a worthy performance in the box office. The 21st century may have ushered in an era of over saturation for superhero movies, but that doesn't mean they were all good. Here’s a list of the worst superhero movie flops.
By Stephen Hamilton10 years ago in Geeks
Political Walk of Shame
Let's be honest, nobody wants to see our politicians forced to walk through the streets naked. That would be more of a punishment for everyone else than it would be for the over-inflated egos that stalk the halls of Congress and lurk in state government. But sometimes I can't help but wish we could drag most of the people currently making a mockery of themselves in the presidential election through the streets and announce their crimes to the world. Just some guy with a cowbell shouting to an angry crowd—without the typical political media circus. I feel like it might promote some honesty in our election if our candidates had to risk a more visceral form of public shaming rather than just shrug off a few limp-wrested punches from the 24-hour election cycle.
By Patricia Sarkar10 years ago in Geeks
SNL Sketches Made Into Movies
Following a balmy Cold War winter, the spring of 1976 came in dry and would lead to global droughts. April 24 was a Saturday, and a show known as NBC’s Saturday Night was wrapping up its first season. Part way through, the camera cuts to a shot of producer Lorne Michaels at his desk:
By Stephen Hamilton10 years ago in Geeks
Funniest Buddy Cop Shows
There are certain mainstays in the film industry in regards to genre. The every man action hero. The scary monster horror movie. And the buddy cop comedy. There’s something so likable about seeing two characters team up in the name of justice. For an audience, it provides such a great pathos and there’s nothing more fun than watching two beloved characters bro out. These are our picks for the craziest buddy cop shows of all time.
By Stephen Hamilton10 years ago in Geeks
Best Worst Movies of All Time
Like a lot of people, I love bad movies. Well, let me clarify. Not all bad movies. Some are insipid, or just boring. The acting is wooden or the plot is cliché, but sometimes it all adds up to be more than just the whole. Everything adds up and transcends how terrible they are to become kind of a glorious ode to hubris and failure. They are more than a bad movie, they become an object lesson. There’s a certain amount of pleasure you derive from watching someone present their creative masterpiece to the world only to realize they were doodling in crayon on construction paper. You can’t help but look away. Below is a list of some of the worst movies you can find, so absolutely awful that they are entertaining in ways the creators probably never intended, but that we love anyway.
By Stephen Hamilton10 years ago in Geeks
