breakups
When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.
More Than Once
More Than Once He hit me. With his fists closed and my eyes open, he hit me. I sat there alone, crying out for help in inconspicuous little words typed letter by letter on my desktop computer. I entered a chatroom that evening. I entered the chatroom because I needed comforting words to occupy the silence. Fear can lack sound. I found someone to strike a conversation with. I described my feelings of detriment to this complete stranger. They were kind enough to stay with me. My husband [at the time] took our vehicle to go visit his mother. He was still in the process of getting his driver’s license renewed, so I was concerned about his whereabouts and his safety. I knew that if he were pulled over I would hear his voice on the other end of my phone, pleading for me to bail him out of jail. I also knew…I would have to hang up and call someone whom I’d be reluctant to share this humiliating news with, so they could give me a ride to the county detention center. Because if he were arrested while driving our car, our car would be towed and lost forever.
By L.S. Price6 years ago in Humans
Don’t Go Looking If You Don’t Want To Know
Cheating happens. Point blank it happens. Do not be one of those people with there head in clouds thinking it’ll never happen to you. The moment you do that is the moment it happens sad but true. So cheating happens and it sucks that we even have to think like this, but it does. The fact of the matter is that eventually, so many of us find ourselves in a relationship with someone who is unfortunately unfaithful. Boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, it doesn’t matter, nor does it matter what stage of you relationship your in. People cheat, and good people get hurt because of it. Which flat out sucks. It’s something that impacts a lot of us, and every single time it is an absolute hectic vicious whirlwind of wretched emotions. The suspicion, betrayal, and more so thoughts of, what do you do?
By Taryn Thomas6 years ago in Humans
Catching up
Good morning, my name is Autumn Raine. Yes, that is my legal middle name. To start with, I am nineteen years old, I have five brothers and sisters (I am the second oldest), and I am getting a divorce. Let's travel back to May of 2018, I was standing in line after school to get my senior prom tickets and my friend introduced me to Josh Lewis. He was very handsome, defined jaw line, bright blue eyes, and a perfect smile. He was skinny but not too skinny, lean but not ripped. At first I paid no mind to him, until the night of prom. My friends and I had a falling out at prom and I as left stranded with no ride home. My friend had come as his date, but she was leaving to go hang out with her boyfriend who was not allowed in. I went up to her to see if she would stay a bit longer so she could give me a ride home, but instead she insisted I ask Josh. So, I did and he said yes. We hung out the rest of the night until the end of prom. He drove me home in his 2006 Scion Tc. We exchanged phone numbers and he drove off. We were messaging late that night and decided to hang out, so I finished the dishes and told my mom I was heading out for a bit. We went to the beach and we talked for hours and hours, before we knew it, it was three in the morning and I had to be up early. He drove me home and I was starstruck. Never would I have known what was going to come next.
By Autumn Raine Moulton-Pierce6 years ago in Humans
The Famous Last words
I feel immobilized. I’ve been sitting in the car now for I don’t even know how long. Time seems to be standing still. And I’m just stuck as the world continues around me. I can’t get up the strength to drive home. Or maybe I just don’t want to leave this parking lot. I just want to stay here in this tree light shopping center, with the immorally high priced liquor store and deli with putrid coffee. All because I don’t want time to change. I feel ok now but I have no idea how I’ll feel tomorrow or the day after that. And when I say ok, I mean ok in the sense where I won’t hurt anymore from being with you. From things you’ve caused. But there’s a scared feeling that I may lose it. I’m thinking all this through and I realize this is the probably the worst I’ll feel. It should only get better from here on out.
By Tracy Rose 6 years ago in Humans
Our Kilonova Experience
The year is 2017, two neutron stars in a neighboring galaxy are noticed spiraling towards each other. The gradual closeness between these two heavenly bodies caused a distortion in space and time which generated ripples in the fabric of spacetime that were felt all the way back here on earth. The two stars; unaware of their shift towards each other, ended up colliding. They exploded into his huge, beautiful fireball, an event later referred to as a Kilonova, that could be seen burning brightly through the telescopic lens of everyone who managed to witness the event. The Kilonova possibly contained a massive amount of gold, platinum and uranium; elements which scientists believe are normally formed from explosions of this nature. Elements that add great value to our success and evolution here on earth.
By Julia Alfred6 years ago in Humans
Forgive & and forget?
People say that you need to forgive people who have hurt you in your life in order to make peace with your future and move on. It is said that if u hold a grudge towards anyone who has hurt you that you will not have a peaceful life. Do you believe that? Do you think that hate holds you back from living your life? Has someone hurt you?, have you forgave them to save your heart and mind? Did u move on like they didn’t exist and live your life to the fullest? How do you feel about forgiving people for what they do and forgetting? Is there a limit to what they do that determines if they deserve forgiveness? Or it is no matter what they do you need to forgive them to live peaceful? Or doesn’t what someone do to you not matter if you forgive them or not?
By Katherine Pilon6 years ago in Humans
A Faceless Future
Sometimes he was lucky enough not to dream of her. He dreamt of fiction; of a faceless future with which to fasten his faith. A form that held curls and soft skin but never managed eyes; the love of eventually that was just perfect enough to live for. She granted him the gift he dreamed of, the chance to unload his heart without consequence, a someone he could fall apart in front of in intimacy and tell just how much it had hurt, just how much he had loved her, and explain it wasn’t that other kind of love that teenagers gossip of in hallways it was this kind, and she’d know because she would, and because some kinds of love are like deep sea fish whose lights are blank in daylight. If she could give him this he could become hers, could become someone’s again. If she could be strong enough to bear the ice of jealousy, determined enough to listen to ten months of love she’d never feel he could be hers and give her ten years more; but who could do that. Could he? Could he if he really cared, if he'd dreamt of the girl like he’d dreamt of this one?
By Miles Rafael Bairley-Ujueta6 years ago in Humans
I'm Sorry
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't enough. I'm sorry that I pushed for a relationship you weren't ready for. I'm sorry that I loved you so much it made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry I was depressed and it drove you crazy for months. I'm sorry I thought about a future with you. I'm sorry if that kiss on your cheek may have made you cringe and put the nail in the coffin of our relationship. I'm sorry you have no empathy for someone who has been in your shoes. I'm sorry my love wasn't enough. That I wasn't enough. I'm sorry that the person you actually are head over heels for doesn't feel the same for you and never will.
By FindingYourFlowers6 years ago in Humans
Bait and Hook
I awoke today feeling low and uneasy as usual after spending time with him. I always leave his space feeling weak, vulnerable and empty. Why do I continue to wish to be near this disordered human's side? I ask myself this over and over but cannot seem to grasp an answer.
By Misty Dawn6 years ago in Humans
To the sadist; I should've kept my order of protection.
I included real time photos so you could see the evidence I have put together. There’s been other evidence aside from that, as I have done a lot of investigative work. I have proof of him messages me of three different fake accounts, my business Facebook, Only Fans and Instagram. I keep questioning why he’s doing it because I can't understand. Usually we cat fish somebody after a break up because they are refusing to talk you. You make fake accounts to force them to respond and initiate a response. Then we are delighted because now the person who dumped us is being tricked into staying in contact with you. But this situation is odd. And has very different logicality behind it. HE is ignoring me. HE is ghosting me. I am not ignoring him. And I never have. I have always answered his texts. As I am not somebody who would choose to play immature games over being with him, the person I love. Which leads me to believe he really must not love me, because we have only been in communication for about four months these past two years. The entire rest of the time he is just emotionally manipulating me. And theres never any reason for them. If he were to text, I’d answer. If he were to want to be in each others lives, I would. But that’s not the issue. That’s not why he’s cat fishing. It’s not to force me into a conversation because I won’t speak to him. It took me a long time to figure this play out. To understand it. And I finally realize it’s all a game to him. A game sadistic narcissist’s play to keep themselves to continue feeling joy by stringing their victim along. Which in smaller terms, they enjoy emotionally torturing the people that love them. I really did try to give him the benefit of the doubt, I did. I left a lot of in depth and long text messages telling him how he’s hurt me. I begged him to respond and tell me this wasn’t true. I told him I just need to hear it from him. Is this true? Have you been making fake accounts to hurt me? Because I’ve decided to go my separate ways from you and you can no longer ghost me. Are you really just trying to force me to text you so you can ghost me again? And in smaller terms like I said are you doing this so you can continue emotionally torturing me? I waited a while almost a week for a response. I kept sending messages. I kept telling him he was forcing me to believe this theory. And without any response. Without any answers. What was I left to believe. And of course he has said absolutely nothing. He has stayed silent. And it’s very possible this was his plan all along. Right before the corona virus I had decided it was finally time to move on. I actually had signed up for a lot of events to meet people which were soon canceled. Maybe as a methodical sadist he sensed these things. And maybe he realized he had to hook me again. And he did, he hooked me. For an entire month he mad me fall deeply in love with him again. Presenting himself to be everything I wanted him to be. I. After I sent those messages I decided to leave him. But this time for good. A couple weeks before I texted that I was blocking him because he wouldn't stop hurting me and playing with my emotions. Directly after I did that he messaged me as a fake person on my only fans account. What hurts the most is it was the only time in two and a half years he’s ever spent money on me. He’s never done one nice thing for me or done anything for me. But yes he spent $9.23 to subscribe and signs point that it was all to emotionally manipulate into putting the evidence together then being forced into messaging him to show him the evidence so yes, he could completely ignore me and emotionally torture me. I let him know ghosting me and ignoring me hurts me the most. And thats why he does it because he feeds off of my pain. So he catfishes me on my only fans. Thats the message in the photo were he states in both messages “I gotta do this right now, but thank you though”. He sent the exact same message as himself from his phone number and as the anon only fans subscriber. Now I still was upset. And I did confront him. He did not respond, yet I still wanted to believe the best. I wanted to believe he really loved me. I wanted to believe that this time we reconnected all the sweet messages, the bond, the connection, the love, I desperately wanted to believe it was all true. I wanted to believe when he said he has no ulterior motives and not everything's a game or a secret that he was genuine not just bringing my guard down and getting me off his trail of lies and manipulation. I wanted to believe it all. Until now, I couldn’t. I started off my stories very truthful and without a a lot of very mixed emotions. And as you read the others you see that I really loved him and I also really believed he loved me. I thought it was mutual. But this is written in real time. And he has finally told me who he is this. And this was the last sign I needed. A fake Facebook page was messaging me when he and I first started speaking after being apart for all that time. However the profile had messaged me even before we reconnected. During a time he was ghosting me and emotionally torturing me by not responding. However when we reconnected I suspected the profile to be his. As I had all the proof and evidence showing the fake Instagram account was his. But as you know as narcissists do, he gas lighted me. Told me I was crazy. He promised to call. And I really thought he would. Because at first I believed it be coming from a place of love, insecurity and jealously. However he didn't call he went completely ghost again and yes went back to continuing the emotional torture. As you know by my profile I have been continuously publishing stories for the past few days. All expressing my struggles with loving him. And of course he has seen them. Because he watches everything I do. I thought in a romantic way. But now in a methodical, evil way. I had over a few things published in regards to my relationship with him as of yesterday. And I think it was hard for him to be villainized, because he has no chance to defend himself. It’s making him furiously angry. Because usually I never say anything, I am meek. I always just bow down to him, take all the blame and say sorry. Because to him I am the villain and he is the victim. I am to believe after reading my published work he is not only angry that I am monetizing off of him and our relationship. But also angry that people are reading, believing what I am saying and hearing my side of the story. Because for so long my trauma, what I went through, my pain, was completely silenced. It was always about him. Everything was always about him. He is upset that I have been given a platform to have a voice. Because he took away my voice 2 and a half years ago. He never wanted me to speak up or ever be heard. Well I am sorry, I won’t be silent anymore. Which leads to the very last thing that happened, just last night. And this finally ties everything together. As I just pieced it together a few moments ago. I realized I was missing something obvious and I couldn't think of what it was at first. Aside from the photos matched together that I have already pointed out in regards to him messaging me on my only fans account. The “call me on here” message happened yesterday. What exactly happened is he had been cat fishing me from a fake Instagram profile. I found out it was him by tracing it back to him and presenting him with the evidence through the account, but the account just blocked me and he never used it again. However just yesterday afternoon coincidentally after I have started telling my side of the story. He unblocks me from the fake account. He has changed the persons IG name. And reaches out pretending we’ve never spoken before. I don’t know how he was too dumb to realize the messages were still saved on my end. I reach back out saying to him making sure he knows that I know it is him. And reiterate that I know he’s been reading my stories. And he should continue too. So he can realize what he’s done to me. How he’s hurt me and how he’s taken me for granted. And that I am completely done with him because he just keeps bleeding me dry. And I say “The day you call me hysterically crying apologizing over and over again between tears how you’ve hurt, that you are so sorry that you took me for granted’ never appreciated me and that I’m the only person who really loves you and that you need me”, don’t call. And truthfully I don’t deserve anything less than that. Because it is only me who profusely apologizes for everything single thing I’ve done and does everything to make things right and get him back. because like I said he always victimizes himself. He says again that it is not him it’s a guy named Keeshawn and say’s the one thing to ties it all together. He say’s “ Ok then, call me” Followed by “on here”. The same exact thing he said on the Nola profile “Send the pic” followed by “On here”. It was then transparent that the Nola and Keeshawn profiles were both his. I decided before I started having any harsh thoughts I’d give it one last try. Because as this has been going on for a month I started feeling sicker and sicker. My mental health was taking an enormous toll. I decided to reach out to the Keeshawn profile on a different account and say “You said you wanted to call me on here, so call me”. I then sent the screen shot brining the Nola profile and the Keeshawn one together. Showing him, don't you see I know it’s you. Of course I was just gaslighted again and called crazy. Then blocked. I still had one glimpse of hope he had unblocked me and messaged me from that account because when I did call “on here” he was going to start saying sorry, since he’s seen all my writings. But he didn’t. It was a ploy to keep the abuse going. To continue the emotional torture. A pain that is constant. That he never planned on ending. Until I stood up for myself.
By Tracy Rose 6 years ago in Humans
