breakups

When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.

Three years later. . .
Three years later. . . Life's going great. I'm truly happy. Once in a blue moon I would think of J. During those moments when the moon would show up I would think long & hard about him. We left off senior year silent. Not a goodbye or wishing well for one another. It was still. The type of still that makes you think "all I want is answers." I didn't let anyone know that I was hurt about J leaving me confused. He left my head full of the unknown. Thinking could he be the one that got away if I tried harder? Does he still think about me? At one point making me feel there was something wrong with me. . .
By Kellzzz6 years ago in Humans
The secrets of an unloved object
He’s after me because he likes the challenge: the cat-and-the-mouse game, the construction puzzle of convincing me that it is worth it. He says I’m so unlike the others; of course I’m so unlike. The one at that moment always is.
By Salomea Becquerel6 years ago in Humans
The Last Time
I thought we were best friends. I thought she trusted me. She’d tell me everything and anything, even if she wasn’t supposed to, as if it was just gossip. But not this time. No, this time she didn’t tell me anything whatsoever. I always confessed to everything that was going on with me. Why hadn't she?
By Lucy Robinson6 years ago in Humans
To All The Men I've Pushed Away
Dear Men I’ve Pushed Away, I know the chance that you’re reading this is slim, but if you’ve found yourself here, I want you to know it’s not your fault. Whatever happened between us was a result of me trying to protect myself. It’s likely that you’re a great man who I pushed away. I didn’t mean to, it’s just something that happens whenever I sense that someone likes me. It doesn’t always have to be someone who is romantically interested in me. I’ve ended friendships because of my need to protect myself. Sometimes I don’t even know I’m doing it until the person is gone and I end up hurt. So why do I do this if that’s the outcome? I guess it’s because I’m afraid. No, I don’t think you’re dangerous or that you’ll end up using or hurting me. The problem lies within me. I don’t trust myself to pick someone who is good for me. I know that sounds insulting, so I want to clarify that I don’t think you’ll hurt me. I didn’t think HE would have done the things he did to me either. Throughout the course of our relationship, I excused his behavior as a product of his past. I told myself that the reason he wouldn’t let me out of his sight was because his mother didn’t let him out of hers. I wanted to believe that he picked fights with me because he didn’t know how to love me. He didn’t have the best example, since his parents were always physically fighting and name calling each other. Someone recently told me he must not have been so bad since I picked him. There were so many things I wanted to say in response. Each thing would have revealed more about me than I felt comfortable with, so I kept it simple. I told him that my ex was different at the beginning of our relationship, which was true. It wasn’t hard for him to trick me into thinking he was everything that I wanted. In reality, he was a liar and an abuser. It’s because of him that I’m not able to love as freely. I was a different person at the start of that relationship. I was the kind of girl who still believed in soulmates and other innocent things that I find to be silly now. I would have never thought that I would end up with a man who abused me. That innocence was likely the reason he picked me. It’s easy to be with someone who seems excited to be with you, so it was easy to be with him in the beginning. I magnified the good things he did for me, which aided me in overlooking the vibrant red flags. I allowed him to change me until he destroyed the sweet girl that I used to be. It started out with little things, like him making a comment about my weight that bothered me. I let him nitpick my looks until I believed that I was ugly. It wasn’t long before I didn’t feel comfortable in my own home without makeup. I started starving myself and developed an unhealthy relationship with food as a result. I gave up most of my interests and hobbies for him and became a shell of the woman I used to be. You’d have probably liked that woman. The woman I am now is stuck somewhere between fight or flight mode and I end up pushing everyone away. I’m trying to fix the woman I’ve become, but it takes time. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate it, and I hope that you can find it in yourself to be patient with me.
By Jade M.6 years ago in Humans
And So It Begins
S You don’t know me but you think you know something of me. You have never met me but you think you have, in some small way, through the words of my husband. You are on far sturdier ground than I because I know nothing of you except that you make my husband’s heart beat faster and he won’t hold my hand now he has held yours.
By Lexie Swann6 years ago in Humans
Young Love and Broken Promises
That bastard, the liar that broke my heart and all the promises he made... My ex boyfriend. His name was Eli. In all honesty, the day I found out his name I should've ran for the hills. His name is basically saying that E (his once upon a time nick name) lies. Anyways let's get to how this story connects to figurative fear.
By Anita Rose Kennedy6 years ago in Humans
Stay by Antoinette
The world around you is dark and gloomy. Every decision feels like a wrong turn on a twisted path, every minute a sharp hit on the brakes.
By Antoinette6 years ago in Humans
My First Love
Since I was little I have always looked at things from the outside, an observer. When my siblings would get in trouble I would take it as a lesson of what not to do. However, I've also always been shy, and protective over my heart, I've never given it away easily. Everyone has their first love at some point though, right? Normally that comes with your first heartbreak too unfortunately. More often than not though, people have some small "relationships" before they have their first real love. When we're young and dumb, this always ends up being the person we believe we will spend the rest of our life with. This is exactly what happened to me too. When I first met him, he was sweet, kind, and never treated me bad. He became my best friend. However, as things progressed, life happened. His home life wasn't great, he had some health problems, he developed some anger issues, and struggled with the "long distance." Before I knew it he gave me a promise ring. When I first took it, I thought OMG YES! As time went on though, I though, what happened, and I grew scared of the future. About half a year passed by and we began to grew apart. Things weren't getting better, and we were always fighting. One day I broke up with him. I was devastated but relieved because I knew that even though it hurt now but things were going to get better. A few months passed and I was still hurting, I did stupid things to try and feel better but nothing was working. So what did I do? I reached out and before I knew it we were back together. Things were slightly different but I felt happy. Come to find out it wasn't the same for him though. New Years Eve, we talked about everything, and what all we wanted to do in the next year. The next day told me something different though... we broke up. It was odd, how he changed his mind that fast, literally within a few hours. How do you go from loving someone, and wanting to spend years together, then not want anything to do with them? Later I found out, he changed his mind quicker than I thought. He went to lunch with one of his friends and heard all about how his friend loved seeing his girlfriend everyday. That was the moment he decided that he wanted to have someone else. He didn't want me anymore. It was odd, not knowing how someone could change their mind about you that fast. I still loved him. How do you not love someone that you spent nearly a year with? It's hard not to, I'll tell you that. For a while you're numb, but time goes by and you learn to be okay, and start to love yourself again. You move on, and you find someone else. First loves are the one of the hardest ones to go through. You never truly forget your first love. They're apart of who you are.
By Grace Sharp6 years ago in Humans
documenting heartbreak day 1.
I don't really know what else to do except write. So here's my heart. It's broken real bad, but I'm going to try and let words fill the gaps. This is documenting heartbreak; no edits, no revisions, just raw truth and hurt.
By Jennie Harluk6 years ago in Humans
THG III
I still think about you from time to time, though I did delete your number from my phone to remove the temptation to text you. Which sucks, but there's Facebook that helps me keep in contact with you. I still think about our last time hanging out sometimes. Last time was the 2nd time I ran to you when I was in trouble emotionally and also mentally. Which, both times that ended poorly.
By Peter D6 years ago in Humans
Dear Ex-Boyfriend
Dear ex-boyfriend, I never thought I’d write you another letter, but Misa died in November and she was as much your dog as she was mine. Sometimes I thought maybe I should have left her with you, but I know that wouldn’t have worked out. I would have missed her too much and you didn’t want a dog anyway, but I felt guilty because she loved you. Maybe you wouldn’t have even missed her, but she’s not the only reason I’m writing you. I also wanted to apologize, but not to you. You don’t deserve an apology, and you certainly didn’t deserve any of the time I wasted with you. I remember when we were breaking up, you asked me the most important question you’d ever asked me. We were sitting at a table at Chili’s and you asked me what was so special about you. At the time I remember feeling sick to my stomach, as I pushed my plate away. I’ll probably never forget the look of disgust you shot me as I tried to name anything that made our relationship special. The only thing I was able to come up with was our mutual love of video games and movies. There was nothing about you that stood out, I could have been with anyone. It took time for me to realize that I didn’t like anything about you. I certainly didn’t like the way you made me feel. Being with you changed the way I view relationships. I was innocent when we were together. I was the sweet girl who still believed in soulmates. I think my naivety made me blind to how unhappy I was with you. I stayed with you, despite the fact you treated me poorly. I even excused your behavior as a result of your rough childhood. If I could go back, I’d end our relationship sooner. I’d end it before you had a chance to change me. I don’t trust myself because of you, or maybe it’s more accurate to say that I don’t trust myself to find a non-abusive partner because of you. So, why did you cross my mind today? Well, I remember you showing me a postcard we’d gotten from the vet. The picture on it was a Christmas picture of the staff. You pointed out each woman you thought looked better than me. You didn’t care that I was crying, and you certainly didn’t care that I was only eating once a day because of you. You wanted to make sure that I knew you thought I was ugly. I even believed that I was ugly for years after we broke up. You know who didn’t find me ugly? Men. Not all men, but there have been several men who’ve tried to get to know me since we ended things. I wanted to get to know some of these men, but I ended up pushing them away instead. I didn’t mean to push them away; it was something I couldn’t help. I wasn’t even aware I was doing it at the time, and I regret it. Most of all, I regret being the person you made me. Now I’m the type of girl who hurts people to protect herself, the type of girl who is closed off. Most of all, I’m the type of girl who will have to preface any relationship I get in with ‘my ex abused me, and I still have emotional scars from that.’ My apology is to the woman you’ve forced me to become. I’m sorry for the time I’ve wasted on you, and the impact I’ve allowed you to have on my life. I’m sorry for the ways in which you’ve changed me, because none of it was for the better. I’m sorry for the way I’ve allowed myself to treat other people because of you. I’m also sorry for the next person I care for enough to let in. I know that person won’t have it easy, because I won’t love as easily or be as carefree as I was with you.
By Jade M.6 years ago in Humans
Missing the invisible
I miss the invisible. I miss what can't be seen and never really could be seen. It's something that was or is a part of all of us. A link to your past and evidence of your innocence and your honour; depending on your values. I miss my virginity. And even now I'm not sure if it is really that that I miss. Maybe it's the things that come with it that I miss or maybe I just miss the girl I was before I knew about loving and desire.
By Carolyn McMurray6 years ago in Humans