breakups

When it comes to breakups, pain is inevitable, but Humans thinks that suffering is optional.

A Couple Things I Learned While on a Camping Trip with My Ex
The Breakup Backstory To start off, I will tell you why we broke up. This helps to set up the whole camping experience. (I’m going to call him Tate for easy reference.) So Tate and I had not really dated for all that long. We were only together for about two and a half months or so. Before we were dating we were really good friends—you would not really see one of us with out the other. After we got together this was still the case. We seemed to be really happy, then all of a sudden that changed.
By Kaelyn Dibble7 years ago in Humans
A Story of a Quiet Queer
Let's hope that the more personal I get with the world, the closer I will feel with coming to terms with my sexuality. Being the Outcast is not foreign to me. When I was growing up I felt safe alone. Writing stories, songs, poems, and singing to myself. Being among people for recreation was a source of anxiety that is unspeakable. When you create your own life in your head you become your own best friend. But, in my case, I did not treat myself like a friend, more like an intimidating stranger.
By SAYHERNAME Morgan Sankofa7 years ago in Humans
How to Cope with a Breakup
It happens to all or at least most of us once. Maybe more often, but each time it hurts regardless, especially deeply committed relationships that are long term, sometimes with kids. Even short term flings or affairs can bite if we think of them as special. Rejection is very unpleasant, but there are ways to cope and plan for better times ahead.
By Vicki C7 years ago in Humans
Things to Say & Ask Before a Breakup
This is the kind of article that, frankly, we wish everyone would read. We say that because, although we can’t think of one person who looks forward to going through a breakup, our personal experiences have taught us that breakups are hard because of how they are done. Breaking up with someone isn't easy, but they are normal. Normally though, they are usually done poorly because the person doing the breaking didn’t think about what to say—or ask—beforehand.
By Lorna Vause7 years ago in Humans
But I Stuck Around
In our beginning, he was the greatest guy I could only have in my dreams. He would do all the little things, like holding the door open for me, opening my car door, laughing at my jokes—even if they weren't funny, give me his jacket when I was cold, and cuddle me to sleep. Those moments were significant to me.
By Bea Marie7 years ago in Humans
This Fairytale Has Mice Too
If you grew up in the age of Disney movies, you know every little girl’s dream is to one day become a princess and have prince charming rescue them from the metaphorical tower their lives are. Personally I was always more interested in the little animal helpers that came with it, boys seemed a little too dumb at that age. I wanted mice and birds to do my chores so I could sit all day in the grass and read my books and paint with my watercolors. Soon I learned this was not the way life worked and if my mother saw a rat in the house she would probably faint, so I had to avoid that at all cost. However, Disney didn’t get the narrative completely wrong, and I didn’t get a makeover from my little helpers, but I did meet my price charming because of them, so that’s close enough.
By Diana B7 years ago in Humans
She Woke Up Different
We often wonder how far we can be pushed or what our limits are...You think you've hit the bottom, but have you really? It could always be worse. What if what you've feared would happen has now become a reality. You talked about, said it wasn't so. Then, it is, very much so true. It happened. You've been cheated on. It happened. That's all you can think. It. Really. Happened.
By Elora Thomas8 years ago in Humans
Mixed Feelings // Salt Wounds + Midnight Blues
I've noticed that it's hard to stop loving someone, even though they've wronged you, even though you hate them, even though they might have been a straight up ass to you; you still have a hard time separating yourself from them when you've been connected to this person.
By Lauren Day8 years ago in Humans
What is the Value of Getting Back with an Ex?
Don't get me wrong: getting back with an ex is never an issue. You may have unfinished business and things to say between the both of you. But is it worth it? Perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't. There are so many different ways and reasons as to why we want to get back with ex flames. Especially now that we're in the Mercury retrograde, in that we have other different planets that are in retrograde. I feel like it's just something that supposed to hit you with a hammer in order to get you on the right path or on the right terms. Sometimes we have to be faced with reality. Even though it's really nice to live in Wonderland but at the same time what are you really going to do with your life? There's so many different ideas about getting back with an ex. Sometimes it's the midnight booty calls. Sometimes the booty calls lead to exciting sexual play. And then there are the random phone calls of somebody missing the other individual or for the sake of not being alone. Sometimes I feel like those are the phone calls that are the worst. Because you never know if the person was genuine in the first place to want to rehash the past.. or even fix what was broken.
By Ashara Armand8 years ago in Humans
Find Me in Others
In the beginning, there's always an overwhelming sense of happiness and bliss. You meet via online or in person, and the heart always thumps while the palms sweat in a nervous gesture of a half-ass hug. Gripping the shirt on their back slightly to test the motion of the hug, how strong they grasp you in return as if to not let you go in that moment. That first moment. You had talked for a while with them before this meeting. Hesitant to meet in person, worried that this wasn't going to be the same off-screen. It ends up being better and you talk for much longer than anticipated. But it doesn't faze either as the breakfast menu turns to lunch and the cup sitting in front of you two has been filled one, two, three times. And you down it each time. This is fun, you haven't had this much fun with one person in a long time. The conversation changes and flows, talking about anything and everything. Finding so many things in common; so many things to agree on and few to disagree. The diner doesn't kick you two out but you two leave anyway to explore the area. It's a grand time. Palms still sweating as your hands find each other. Lips touching just slightly as you wave goodbye. Recognize this? A first date. Once that turns into multiple, and each time just gets better and better. Both people getting more comfortable sharing secrets, valuable time and energy. You see hope, after so many failed attempts at love. However, just like all the other times, this one falls through as well. And it hurts so much more each time. Each person that leaves, flicks off the feelings like a light switch that leaves you hanging and wondering; what went wrong? What happened for things to change so quickly when just a week before, things were perfect? Weeks after, you're fighting with yourself. Do you start all over again? Take some time to yourself? You want to but, seeing all the couples walking about hand-in-hand you realize that you desire that as well... what are you doing wrong? You're crying in your room one day, strutting down the sidewalk the next. Believing yourself to be too good for anyone, yet desperately wishing someone would notice your capability for something more. While you try and forget the past, you realize you can't hate the man. There were reasons, ones you don't want to believe, but they are there. And you can't forget him. You spend hours looking again, then ashamed of yourself. Focus on you, focus on your needs and hobbies and health and passions. But it seems as if social media is mocking with these posts and photos of perfect couples with undeniably perfect goals and interactions and vacations. All starting you in the face with a smug grin; reminding you of what you lost and don't have. As the weeks go by, you stop crying softly before you go to sleep. You find yourself paying less attention to couples walking hand in hand along the street. You're not ashamed to ask for a table for one at your favorite restaurant while adorning the outfit purchased the day before with the full intention of self-pampering. As the weeks pass, you forget about that desire to be with a partner, to share life with someone; only glancing at online dating apps only to become bored after 5 minutes. Your confidence grows as you browse, knowing only what is best for you. But the desire to look for him in every other guy, every other person, will not fade, although you're sure that he will not find you in anyone else.
By Nicole Fenn8 years ago in Humans
After the Break-Up
You know, I sit here everyday and go through about 20 emotional changes through out that day. I just recently got out of a three year relationship and the way I was left feeling... the hurt that came with the break-up... Honestly, it brought me to my knees. And at the time, I was very ashamed of myself for letting someone have that power to really hurt me. But in truth, that person had been hurting me for such a long time. Now there were times when I fucked up and I hurt her. I was wrong for those times. But in that span, she'd betrayed me and really hurt my feelings. I just needed someone else to turn to. Someone I could trust. it is no excuse for my actions, but that is why I did it. At the end of everything, I still stayed. I CHOSE to stay because some part of me still held love for the person I was with. I really had no idea how. We would fight so much and eventually the fights turned physical, and violent. I'd never thought that when we'd started that we'd end up there, but we did.
By Bri Price8 years ago in Humans
How to Get Over a Break Up... Fast
Many people were truly shocked at how well I handled a break up of mine earlier this year. Over the last few months, friends of mine have been in similar situations and turned to me for advice. That is why I have decided to write this piece.
By Carla Clark8 years ago in Humans