divorce
Divorce isn't an end; it's a different beginning.
Little Black Book
As if the divorce and moving hadn’t been enough, Cecelia was now tasked with cleaning out the eerie attic of her new home. She hadn’t known about the attic when she purchased the home. It wasn’t until she was bringing boxes in and accidently touched a trigger that opened a door to a hidden staircase. It struck her as strange that the realtor hadn’t mentioned it but maybe he didn’t know about it. Either way it was a large extra space she could clean up and turn into a storage room and maybe her new writing space. Something maybe a little less creepy.
By Corinne Oates5 years ago in Humans
A Losing Game
She knew she needed to slow down. Slow down. Those two words were far reaching beyond the pavement she stared at before her. It was early, and hunger was causing her stomach to rub against her backbone. Just a couple more hours and she would be home. Food, a hot shower and her favorite pajamas would make her feel better. With any luck, the combination of those things would cast a magical spell and make the pain go away.
By Regina Walters5 years ago in Humans
Till Death Do Us Part
Weak December daylight filters through the gauzy bedroom curtains. I roll over and reach for Nick, but of course, he isn’t in bed. I almost forgot Nick is leaving me today. Leaving me for a younger version--of me. Leaving me and my infertile womb and my drinking problem brought on by my infertile womb. Leaving me. Discarding me. Moving on without me.
By Lisa Black5 years ago in Humans
We Girls Have To Stick Together
I was sure I would recognize her when I saw her. Philip has a “type.” I already know her name is Bridget. She also described herself in great detail on the phone, which made me even more agitated than I was before we made our lunch date. We didn’t do the usual “you’ll know me by the white carnation” crap. She just said, “I’ll be the one who’s eight months pregnant.” That should be easy enough to spot. Especially in an out of the way truck stop diner. This greasy spoon would not have been my first choice for our meeting, but I couldn’t risk being spotted by anyone who knew my husband, or by my husband for that matter.
By DeEtta Miller5 years ago in Humans
Thinking Clearly
Acknowledgment I dedicate this guide to all of the strong women who have survived domestic abuse. I am proud of you for finding the strength inside of you—that you didn't know you had. For those of you still caught up in the struggle, let this guide be your guiding light.
By Dejaye Botkin5 years ago in Humans
Bad Girl House
Written while the kids were still having visitation and phone calls during 2010 Left as originally written I hate you. I hate what you did to me. I hate what you did to these children. Hate that I have to deal with these emotions everyday. I struggle to keep myself going, to keep myself strong, to keep myself motivated. I hate when I feel like hiding from the world. I hate when I just want to stay in bed and sleep to make this all go away for awhile. I hate that the past feels like it will always be there. I hate that I can’t stop the present from becoming someone else’s terrible past. I hate that I can’t warn anyone about what you are. A manipulative, controlling, evil, scary, out of control monster. A loose canon, an abuser who only thinks about himself above all others. Even over his children. I want you to have a mark that tells people what you really are, before they are trapped and finally discover it for themselves. I hate that you are around other children and animals after seeing what you are capable of. You are only capable of torture. I believe that you enjoy the suffering of others. I hate how you continue to manipulate the kids. Who only sees their children five times in one entire year? Who voluntarily, purposefully, doesn’t go see their kids, regardless of the circumstances? And even though you never see them, the past still controls them. I hate that they are still afraid of you, and intimidated by you. They will not do or say anything to upset you, like you’re actually someone important. You are nothing. You are a loser who needs to mooch off of others to survive. You couldn’t take care of anything or anyone. I don’t think you know how. You have no respect for what the and I went through because of you. I hate that you deny everything that happened, but in your own mind you must know. I hope that it is eating you love to know exactly what you so stupidly threw away. I hate that I am seen as the bad guy. I hate picking up the kids and having that sickening feeling in my stomach. Having to wonder what kind of ignorance went on this time. Hate that your parents have no respect for me or the kids. My requests are ignored, and you all play games with their heads. The trauma they went through is not just some trivial thing. If these kids had an issue with you, it runs much deeper than just simple surface emotions. They know what you are too. I hate that I am like a ghost. I hate that any communication turns into a fiasco. I hate everything about going to court. Your voice, your face, your presence, your attitude, your ignorance, your disrespect, your posture. You should be locked up and tortured, just like I was. You don’t deserve any chance at happiness, because you took it from us for so long. You will see us happy from a very far distance, and I hope it drives you insane. I hate when I think about how many times I should have and could have gotten out earlier. Especially when I was out of the house. I hate when self blame creeps back in and brings me down. But then I firmly remind myself that you did this to us and to yourself. It was never my fault. I hate having to think about wanting to hurt you. I hate knowing that you even exist. I hate the sound of your voice and your condescending tone with the kids. I hate that you’ll have to be a part of their lives, but maybe they can decide that you don’t need to be before too long. I hate when I am full of hate.
By Kathy Sees5 years ago in Humans
Leaving
There have been findings that determine that the brain cannot tell the difference between mental and physical pain. When people feel emotional pain, the brain's equivalent areas become stimulated as when people perceive physical pain. So seven years into my marriage, I felt pain. The husband never placed his hands on me. I did not have scars or bruises, but I sensed an enormous amount of pain. The pain was genuine. And it hurt a lot. I decided that I didn't want to continue with this pain.
By 722034Years5 years ago in Humans
Divorce
Divorce- when you hear the word, it does have stigma attached to it- especially for a woman. Whispers of why is she divorced? What did she do? Can she not cook? Why can't she keep a man? and so many more questions! A perfect example of this is the recent chatter in the headlines about Halle Berry and why she can't keep a man- maybe she has a bad 'box' LOL - Halle Berry is a product of an alcoholic home as well and money never fixes those issues- it can mask the issues but never fixes them. Sometimes- people that get married should have NEVER been married to begin with. Everyone has their reasons for getting married and is you ask two different people, you will more than likely get two very different answers- if they answer you honestly. One needs to ask themselves that question however- why did I REALLY get married? No one ever talks about the positive side of divorce. People need to be compatible in all areas for a marriage to work- sex, friendship, life goals, etc. Divorce, can be freeing. Change your thinking and change your life! One cannot work on themselves if they jump from relationship to relationship. People change partners to avoid changing themselves. A reality of life that people hardly talk about. In my life, my marriage provided something I never had- the feeling of belonging and family. Yes- I have a biological family but when you grow up in an alcoholic home, it really is every man for himself. Although our family was a family of 5, I felt utterly alone. And was DESPERATE to find a mate to love me. To this day, my ex-husband's family remains like family to me even though he and I never had or will have the best relationship other than being parents to our son. Life is a very interesting journey. As a woman, you have to put your emotions to the side because the love thing will leave you unfocused and BROKE. And no one likes a declined check card! Some women luck out and get it right- the career, the family, the kids, all of it. But some of us did not. I like to think of it as God blessing us all with different blessings. What fun would life be if ONE person had all the blessings in the same way? Rather boring actually! I think we should celebrate women more for individual accomplishments. You finished grad school, Yay! You purchased a home (on your own)- congrats! We also need to groom men to understand that the amount of respect given to them should not be tied to their earnings or their job title. Some men cannot be in a relationship with a woman who earns more because it threatens their ego. In 2021, they really need to ditch the antiquated thinking and their egos. Life is soooooo expensive! A lot of people are in love with the idea of being in love and the idea of the marriage ceremony- not marriage itself. Marriage is hard work. We all have to choose our hard in this world. Divorce is hard on kids, but they are smarter than we give them credit for and more resilient than we think they are. Learn who YOU are before getting married and divorce is less likely to be a part of the equation. Learn who you are before inviting any one in to your personal space as the work is easier to do that way. Too many people stay unhappy because of what things look like to others. Just know that life- is indeed a one-shot deal.
By Vikki Conley Ikard5 years ago in Humans
The Great Sadness
I started thinking to myself that I should create a name for each year of my life... 2016 would be The Year of Barbed Wire. Because every time I moved or shifted positions I felt the cuts of my pain deep in my skin. The burden of my sorrow was a great weight that encased me. I didn’t think I would come out of that year alive because the enormity of my sadness created physical pain. Enough so that I thought I couldn’t possibly live on. How does someone feel the depth and extent of what I did and not collapse? How was I able to keep breathing?
By M. Winters5 years ago in Humans
Closure
Closure is a fucking myth. You don’t just get to move on from a divorce and the person you gave your heart to. I HATE when people say, “at least you get to have closure now.” No, I don’t. Because every time I look at his face or into his eyes I see the man I married. What little interaction we do now have - I see the soul that connected to mine.
By M. Winters5 years ago in Humans
