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TECH REVIEW: The Check Engine Light Does Not Mean Your Engine is “On”
At The Pompous Post™, we pride ourselves on keeping our readers informed about the latest technological breakthroughs. Last month we reviewed the cutting-edge “Toaster 2.0,” which can not only toast bread but also your hopes and dreams. This week, we turn our gaze to a truly revolutionary innovation: the Check Engine Light.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
The Secret Lives of Garden Gnomes: What They’re Really Doing When You’re Asleep
For centuries, mankind has slept soundly under the false assumption that their gardens are tranquil places. Quiet sanctuaries of flora, chirping crickets, and maybe a bunny or two, nibbling on carrots. But recent evidence uncovered by The Pompous Post™ investigative team (me, one pair of binoculars, and a suspiciously long summer evening) has revealed the shocking truth: your garden gnomes aren’t innocent ceramic ornaments.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
BREAKING: Nation’s Grandmas Unite, Declare War on “Unsatisfyingly Thin” Restaurant Napkins
A Crisis at the Dinner Table For decades, Americans have tolerated flimsy restaurant napkins that disintegrate at the first sight of soup, shred beneath the weight of barbecue sauce, and provide less absorbency than a damp Kleenex. But no more.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
EXCLUSIVE: Local Man’s Wi-Fi Network “FBI Surveillance Van #4” Finally Gets a Knock on the Door From the Actual FBI
For seven years, residents of a quiet cul-de-sac in Des Moines lived in the shadow of a running gag. It wasn’t a neighborhood watch, or a barking dog, or even the HOA’s obsession with measuring lawn length to the millimeter. No, the source of both pride and suspicion was a Wi-Fi network named “FBI Surveillance Van #4.”
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
Love Sucks & Then You Fry 🔥
Pain began each day for him— physical agony undreamed of by mere mortals. It was always the same. 🥱 First, straight out of his snake-ridden dung heap bed, he was flayed alive, his flesh peeled off his hideous body by a series of ingenious rollers and razors. Every inch of his epidermis was meticulously sliced away, unveiling a few billion live nerves. Apish-monsters-with-praying-mantis-heads then pushed, prodded, and poked him, rolling his skinless body in a great dune of salt. When he was pulled screaming from the sodium, he was ran under a lava shower, then entrapped in an absolute zero frost. Chipping him out of the ice block, the monsters also inflicted 666 new stab wounds before he was finally released for duty in Satan's service.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡5 months ago in Humor
The Secret Life of Everyday Gremlins: A Field Guide for the Doomed
Introduction: Welcome to the Chaos For centuries, humanity has blamed bad luck, clumsiness, or “just one of those days” for life’s minor disasters. Lost socks. Dropped calls. Popcorn that smells like a Viking funeral. But the truth is far stranger, and far more sinister: Gremlins.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
How I Accidentally Became the Office Meme
Introduction: The Day My Dignity Took a Coffee Break They say every office has “that person” — the one who becomes the story everyone retells at lunch. I never thought I’d be that person. I liked blending in, keeping my head down, and letting others be the subject of harmless gossip. But fate had other plans, and it all began with a single, innocent cup of coffee…
By Nadeem Shah 5 months ago in Humor
How to Survive a Family Road Trip Without Turning Into a Cryptid
There comes a point in every person’s life, when they must embark on the most dangerous, character-defining journey of all... the family road trip! Forget Everest... Forget the moon landing... A road trip with your relatives is where legends are made and human beings mutate into mysterious highway creatures, sustained entirely on Fun-yuns and spite.
By The Pompous Post5 months ago in Humor
