humor

Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?

What a Bird
There was a bird outside my window this morning. It was a bit before 6am, my alarm still 20 minutes from waking the dogs, when the persistent noise pierced the veil of sleep.
By Dawn Harper5 years ago in Journal
The Love that Eludes Us
It all started on a paint-chipped park bench. I’d walk along the rows of pine trees for twenty minutes searching for the thickest, straightest stick I could find to hand to grandpa.
By Lexxie5 years ago in Journal
The anti-social, social group
The recruitment In 2019, while on a visit to the city I grew up in, I ran into a former grade school classmate whom I had not seen in many years. After a quick exchange of pleasantries, phone contacts and promises to keep in touch, he informed me that our former high school classmates had a WhatsApp group. Considering I left this school after middle school, this information did not excite me. As we were about to part ways and return to our individual existences, he quickly produced his cell phone and informed me he had added me to the group; this still did not excite me.
By Dwayne Adderley MBA5 years ago in Journal
Why I Will Never Make Any Money Writing
Yep, I suck at writing If you are anything like me (trust me, you are not), then you suck at writing. That said, just because you suck at something doesn’t mean you can’t make shit tons of cash by doing it. Look at this very website. There are a few truly great writers who regularly contribute, some pretty darn good ones, a few more OK ones, a shit ton of average or below average ones, and the remaining who probably make up just over 51% of the writing population here, the terrible, horrible, downright craptastic ones. Oh, and then there’s me. I will leave it to the reader to decide where I fit in on that sliding scale of trainwreckage, but that is really beside the point. The point is that there are a boatload of writers in that 51% who are making gobs and gobs of cash by writing. Yep, you read that correctly, you don’t have to be one of the greats, or average, or any good at all, to fulfill your dreams of endless bags of cocaine and supermodel blowjobs by the gross, through writing. Female dreams and your own dreams may differ slightly from mine of course.
By Everyday Junglist5 years ago in Journal
I Don’t Want to Write Articles That People Want to Read
Yet another article purporting to give you the secret for success in writing on Medium or other social platforms recently caught my eye (linked below).
By Everyday Junglist5 years ago in Journal
(Do Not) Run Away With the Carnival
I'd been enthralled with the carnival for as long as I could recall. Neon lights against a dimming night sky backdrop and the mixing scents of candy apple covering liquor-stained teenage tongues drew me in without having to offer much of anything else. As I aged, there was something mystical in the idea of showing up in a new town every weekend, establishing a lifestyle and a persona that was guaranteed impermanence.
By Tia Foisy5 years ago in Journal
How To Get A New Job
Looking back over a fifty plus year career in a wide range of occupations I was struggling to think of a single job I had succeeded in landing through the conventional method of sending an application form to the company in question. During that half a century I have had about fifty different jobs and they all came to me in a variety of methods, not one of which involved posting an envelope stuffed with my cv and a covering letter.
By Liam Ireland5 years ago in Journal
30 Things I Learned at 30
We're going to pretend this is going to be funny. (It probably won't.) Here are just some of the things I learned in the months since I turned the big 3-0.
By Jillian Spiridon5 years ago in Journal
The Saga of the Roach
It was much to my dismay that I came to notice, a roach that has taken up hospice in my master suite. We are currently reenacting Tom and Jerry scenes. I think he finds this both amusing and thrilling. I personally find it appalling and annoying. Little does he know he will die soon. His days are numbered and his time is marked by the Grim Reaper himself. However, he grows ever more ballsy. Let me explain:
By Alexis Lariviere5 years ago in Journal
My Dream Career: Writirement
Writirement ("/rīt/"-"/ˈtī(ə)r/"-"/mənt/"): A non-career, or unconventional employment path paved by sweatpants, and earning loads of money for writing. The act of leaving one's job, and writing for income instead. Contrary to traditional retirement, this career path is designed to happen early in life.
By Lindsay Neal5 years ago in Journal
I Think I Just Got it.
The overwhelming urge was set before I even finished reading the prompt. Sitting in my office chair, rereading the question a few times in my head, I immediately opened up Google Docs. Pulling up a fresh document, the flashing insert point of the blank, pixelated page instantly started to chuckle. The more I stared at the blankness of the page, the more I saw my reflection in the nothingness. The same nothingness that manifested the absence of what seemed to be my own brain power. The ideas in my head seemed to be locked away, bolted down by the screws of hesitation and disorientation. Around a steel bolted door was fog, lots of it. I found myself searching through the mist, foraging for a key, down on my hands and knees like a toddler. reconnoitering all around the fog for the answer to arrive like an encounter with a fawn on a midnight street. Passion? What the hell do I know about passion?
By Nathaniel Ireland5 years ago in Journal
Iced Rooms and Locker Cream
...WHAT did I just say? (But, whatever I said, I guarantee you that I have your attention now). Let's try this again, shall we?
By Kent Brindley5 years ago in Journal