humor
Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?
Workplace Apocalypse
Crumbling brick walls replace cubicles. Tattered blankets act as doors. People rely on barrel fires spread throughout for warmth. A wall marks those who've fallen. When you open your eyes, however, you realize it's not a post-apocalyptic world; it's your toxic workplace. If you’ve recently woken up to the realities of your employer, consider the following tips as your crash course for navigating your new world till redemption.
By Robyn Russo6 years ago in Journal
So this is called "Customer Service?" Seriously?
You just purchased something that you've been wanting for a while. You've done your homework and read up on all the amazing features that come with the new toy that you just purchased. The reviews were terrific, and you thought to yourself, "I can't go wrong". You read about "how easy it is to assemble", "how your satisfaction is guaranteed", "how it's easier than ever to use", blah, blah, blah.
By Frank Luca6 years ago in Journal
Allergies: Under 'S' For 'See Allergies'
Who ARE the people who design software programs? It is a mystery but I believe I know the answer to who designed the software for the Community Health program known as PARIS. And, which has forever ruined that name for me or any desire to visit what is purported to be the most beautiful city in the world. City of Light? My ass. City of Perpetual Pain PTSD.
By Diane Randle6 years ago in Journal
Time and Time Again
Dawn. Creak my way down the stairs. That’s my knees creaking, not the stairs. Get ambushed in the dark by happy dog. Fight happy dog, kick him out. Make coffee. Go outside, feed dog. Have coffee with fresh air (rather than with a cigarette. No more choking). Secretly wish I had a cigarette. Check sky, beach, waves, weather, temperature. Cut kindling and firewood. Put clothes by fire. Shower. Muck around doing God knows what.
By Himiona Grace6 years ago in Journal
Big Cars and Bursting Bras
I see that both MI5 (Domestic Terrorism) and MI6 (Overseas Operations) are openly advertising for new recruits via the internet and broadsheet newspapers, in a break from the tradition of selecting their new intake from public schools and top universities. I guess that it had to happen; if you keep plumbing the depths of only certain institutions, you eventually get to the dregs, and who really wants our security safeguarded by second-raters?
By david layzelle6 years ago in Journal
I Think I'm Paranoid
I have a new job writing about conspiracy theories… Or, do I? Maybe it’s actually that I have been selected to do it by The Illuminati, that well-known international group of world domineers, who want to get me off the scene in case I ask too many awkward questions. Perhaps the job was put up only on my version of the freelance website that I use—it must be pretty easy to do, with known IP addresses—so that I pick it up and not look too closely at the fact that the world is owned by The Illuminati! Perhaps I’m just paranoid.
By david layzelle6 years ago in Journal
Surviving Home Remodels - This Time, It's Personal!
I have upset my house painter. I have. I didn’t mean to, I just needed to have something done very fast, because I only have a 26-hour turn around. Did I insist that he did it? No. That’s not me. Even if I pay you, I often feel very bad asking you to do what I pay you to, because, polite. Yes, this makes no sense. Most of the time people want to do what they’re hired to do. I have been in a couple of careers where I’ve done a lot of things for free, because I was so desperate to do it one day for money. No, I was not a prostitute. Have I been treated like an unpaid prostitute at work? Sure. But that’s a very different story. I worked in my career choices for free sometimes, because I wanted to be in a friend’s project, I wanted them to be in mine, or it was just plain fun.
By Camilla Rantsen6 years ago in Journal
