Defeating Disorders When Starting Your Weight Loss Journey

You're probably reading this because you're one of my followers. So, you already know that I've lost weight. My body, my face, my abilities, my likes and dislikes have all changed dramatically over the span of a year. It has actually been a lot to adjust to. When you start a fitness or weight loss journey you change just as much on the inside as you do on the outside. Coming to terms with these changes can be a little hard. I think the most common misconception is that if you lose weight or change your habits, you will be completely happy. Well, it's true, being healthier has made me a lot happier, but it didn't solve my problems. And looking better didn't fix the parts of me that needed work. If you're unhappy and unhealthy, you'll still be a little unhappy when you get healthy if you don't shift your mindset.

The number one common effect of losing weight is a major case of body dismorphia. I think I see most people talk about feeling these symptoms. Honestly, some days, I can really tell a difference. And other days, it's like I'm an obese, unhealthy person who desperately needs a change. I see old pictures of my face, and I look so swollen and puffy. This will make me think, "Man, I look better. I feel better too." But then I might see current pictures of myself, or see myself on video and think: "Wow, I have a long way to go." I don't give myself nearly enough credit. The number one thing I'm working on realizing is that: I'm still me. This temple, this ship that my soul lives in will always be my vessel. No one else will be able to experience life in this body. Because of that, I won't always feel dramatically different, no matter what changes I undergo. The trick is to learn to be okay with that fact. I can't tell anyone how to overcome not feeling different, the truth is: sometimes you just won't. But I'd like to think that's my mind's way of holding on to the parts of my true essence that it would like to keep. Honestly, I have some great attributes, I don't have to change everything. I can keep some parts of me. And that's totally okay.

My relationship with food and exercise has also suffered some ill-witted mentalities. I have to talk myself out of looking at food as something to be counted or weighed all the time. Food is nourishment. Food is fun and emotional. Food is survival. And it takes a very blessed person to be able to be finicky and picky about food. Exercise is therapeutic, fun, challenging, and can help you grow in all aspects of your mind and body. But using exercise as a caloric counter or exercising religiously to erase a pain or insecurity will only harm you more than help you.

This is why fasting and rest days are so important. Why are you eating the way you are eating? Why are you exercising the way you are exercising? Are you obsessing over something? Are you insecure and lost if you aren't counting or measuring or weighing? That's a problem. A very big one. Shifting your mindset to enjoy your hobbies and enjoy the mental challenge of having and reaching goals is a wonderful and healthy way to live. But fixating on numbers and weight and calories is the exact same thing as having anorexia or bulimia.

Allowing your body to rest to heal and reconnect to your needs is the best thing for you. If you're over or under eating, or over working your body, the minute you decide to take real time off and relax, you will gain all your weight back. It's so important to take it slow by consuming and working at a natural pace and taking time off when necessary.

I'm no longer beating myself up during rest days. Especially during those rest days that weren't planned rest days, I just didn't get around to working out or wasn't motivated that day. Maybe there's a reason my body couldn't do it that day, maybe I needed more time. That's not the same as putting it off constantly, but allowing yourself time to regroup is essential.

I'm no longer scolding myself for indulging in something that I shouldn't have eaten. Sometimes, you have to allow yourself to break rules or enjoy something you've missed. That doesn't mean fall off the wagon and be unhealthy because you want to, but if you're killing yourself trying to maintain something that's making you crazy, you've lost touch with the beauty of a healthy lifestyle and you're at a huge risk of a binge session.

As much as I support a healthy lifestyle, too much of anything is dangerous. And letting something take over your mind is soul-draining. This journey has taught me so much about myself. I've learned how strong and capable I am. I've learned how easy it is to grow, despite the hardships I told myself I would face in the past. Overcoming obstacles and overcoming my own self-sabotage have been the best things I have done during this journey. F*** the weight! Honestly, the work I'm doing on the inside means so much more.

I can't stress that enough. WORKING ON YOU IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO. This body will be buried in the ground one day. Being healthy is so wonderful and you can't possibly reach your best potential being overweight, out of shape, and unhappy. But, honestly, the first step to any fitness advice I could give is to always fix your mentality first, and to keep fixing it as you progress.

You need to be prepared for the job of loving yourself, it's a big job, but it's an easy one. You need to be prepared to change, and what's more, you need to be prepared to not always notice that change; and learn to be okay with that! There is so much about losing parts of you that is new and exciting, but at times it can get a little dark. When darkness hits, it's best to tell yourself: "Time for a mindset shift."

I've learned to start changing my relationships with everything around me, every time I start to feel lost or insecure in myself. That is my mind, body, and soul's way of telling me something really needs to change. Changing yourself during your journey is going to happen, but it can also be so easy to lose yourself. And that's something I never would have thought would happen when I started this journey.

I'm so glad that I started this journey, though.

Yes, I'm healthier.

Yes, I'm stronger.

And, hell yes, I'm a lot happier than I used to be.

But I'm not totally, completely happy all the time. And just like my weight changes, so does my mood. Because I am human, after all.

My fitness goal is not a destination, it's just a goal I want to reach. It will fluctuate and that goal will change and that number I have in mind will change. I've learned to accept that. Just like I'm learning happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a mood. And my moods will fluctuate too. I'm learning to accept that, as well. Acceptance is the key to everything in life. I wish I had understood acceptance a bit more before my journey, but I'm glad I've learned the true meaning and depth involved with that word.

If you're struggling during your weight loss journey, please, don't be afraid to make changes to your plan. And, really, there is nothing wrong with allowing yourself rest and plenty of time to regroup and rediscover your focus. Your goals and needs will most definitely change from the time you start. That is more than okay, it's wonderful! It means you are growing in both your healthy lifestyle and as a person. Do not ignore your body and mind's call for help. If it's getting hard for you, listen to yourself. It's the most important thing you can do!