Finding Real Change Through Motivational Interviewing

I didn’t expect a conversation to flip my perspective on life. Like, actually change how I think and act. But that’s exactly what happened when I got introduced to motivational interviewing. Sounds a bit technical, I know. But hang on—it’s not as complicated as it sounds.

So here’s the thing. A couple years back, I was stuck. Not in a dramatic way or anything—I just kept saying I wanted to do better. You know, eat healthier, focus more, stop wasting time scrolling through my phone when I should be working. All that stuff. I’d get fired up for a few days, maybe even a week, but it never lasted. I kept thinking, “Ugh, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just do it?” I figured I just didn’t have the discipline.

Then I went to this workshop for peer mentors, and they introduced us to motivational interviewing. At first, I was like, “Okay, this sounds like therapy stuff… not really my thing.” But then we actually tried it out—and wow, it hit different.

Basically, motivational interviewing is all about asking the right kinds of questions—like, in a real, open way. No judgment, no pushing advice. Just being curious and trying to understand what’s actually going on underneath the surface. The cool part? It works on yourself too, not just other people.

I remember one exercise that totally stuck with me. We paired up, and my partner asked me why I wanted to stop procrastinating. I gave some quick answer like, “I just wanna be more productive,” but then they followed up with, “Okay, but what does being productive really mean to you?” That question—it kinda stopped me for a second. And out of nowhere I said, “I think I’m scared I’ll never reach my potential if I keep wasting time.” And yeah, saying that out loud felt weirdly real. Like I had just figured out something about myself I hadn’t been able to put into words before.

That moment seriously stayed with me. Motivational interviewing helped me realize that change doesn’t come from beating yourself up or forcing it. It comes from actually listening to what’s going on inside. Sounds cheesy, maybe, but it’s true.

After that, I started using it in real life—like with friends. One of my close buddies was trying to quit smoking, and he kept saying stuff like, “I’ve tried everything, nothing works.” Old me would’ve jumped in with stats or tips, but this time I just asked, “What made you want to quit in the first place?” And he paused, then said something about his dad having a heart attack recently. That was it. That was his reason. I didn’t even have to say anything after that—he just needed someone to listen without fixing him.

That’s the heart of motivational interviewing. It’s not a magic fix. It’s not like, "Oh wow, your life is perfect now!" But it gives you space. It helps people dig up their own reasons for change instead of trying to live up to someone else’s.

Even now, when I notice myself slipping—like falling back into old habits—I kinda do a mini interview with myself. Ask stuff like, “Alright, what’s really going on?” or “What do I actually care about right now?” Sometimes I’ll even write it out, like a little chat with myself. It helps. It really does.

Anyway, if there’s one takeaway, it’s this: we’ve all got motivation in there somewhere. Sometimes it just needs a little help coming to the surface. And motivational interviewing? It’s like the flashlight that helps you find it.