The Best We Can

I've stewed on this for months trying to decide how to address it. Even now, I don't know that this does anything at all to fix the perceived problem but it seemed better to finally do something than to sit and do nothing.

As a writer, I am a member of a lot of different types of writing groups on social media. No matter whether they are about novels, children's books, illustrations, writing platforms, or publishing, or just the actual writing itself, they ALL have one commonality --- BULLYING. And it is a sneaky sort of bullying hidden in the guise of "critiquing" and snobbery.

Absolutely writers come in all styles and all levels. Rare is the person that popped out of the womb with pen in hand -- if they did, I would have to wonder how that pen got there. But I digress. My point is, writing is a craft that is learned, just like we learn everything else in life, such as walking and talking for starters.

It always astounds me that the worst bullies are those with college educations -- people who should absolutely know better. And yet there they are in the groups day in and day out wielding words as weapons to strike another writer down. I've seen people ripped apart over sentence structure, a misspelled word, an autocorrected word, a misused word. Unclear sentences. Incorrect verbs. So far, you are probably wondering what the problem is. The word "ripped" as in literally the person was shredded and belittled and there was no other way to interpret what went down than bullying. What happened to kindness? Critiquing can be done. And it is total BS saying a writer has to be tough so there is no holding back or sugar coating. That is just a self-given license to be rude and behave as an utter arse. You would think that someone that can generate elegant prose to set a scene could also generate criticism wrapped in kindness. After all, they are wordsmiths proud of their craft, and yet all they can do in writers' groups is present themselves as superior.

First off, if a person is going to offer critique on something, they better be qualified to offer a critique. Too often, I see "opinions" and "preferences" offered as absolute advice. If a person offering their critique is not published or otherwise accomplished, in what way is what they have to say valuable? They are no different than anyone else that is navigating the waters to success. They are nothing more than someone aggrandizing themselves.

A critique, when asked for, not just tossed like favors on the wind as though it is some great charitable deed that you graced someone with, should be helpful, not just cruel. Absolutely, our creations are like our children, and no one wants to be told they have given birth to an ugly baby. Telling someone how poor their work is does not qualify as a valid critique. A critique should tell a person what they have done well, and what they could do better.

I saw a very shocking critique where a person had to use translation software so they could share what they had written. Naturally, the differences in the structure of a foreign language translated to English were apparent. The person was interested in knowing whether the story was intriguing. Not one person who responded said one thing about the characters or plot. Every one of them went berserk over sentence structure. They didn't offer critiques -- they offered editing. And they were extremely rude. One person was so abrasive that they told the poster that if they couldn't do better with their English to not bother writing or posting because it was a waste of everyone's time. Wow. So this one person could speak for the other 4,998 people in the group?

It makes me sad to think that as creative types, the best people are offering in writing groups is soul-crushing feedback that could be delivered with kindness and actually help the person evolve as a writer instead of dashing their spirits to the point of abandoning their calling.

We're all doing the best we can in any given moment. Just be kind, dang it. It doesn't cost you any more time and energy to be nice than it does to be a jerk. Don't be the reason someone threw down their pen and walked away. Be part of the reason they elevated to a new level of writing greatness.

In short, if you can't find it in you to offer CONSTRUCTIVE criticism wrapped in KINDNESS, then, just SHUT UP.

BE KIND ALWAYS