Your Loneliness is a Gift

Possibly one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given regarding my time of loneliness came from one of my dear friends, a blunt and feisty romanian lady named Silvia. She is someone that has been like an adopted mother to me and she has never once held back when she knew that she needed to tell me something even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. Her valuable advice went something like this: “God has given you a gift. A chance to be alone and figure out what YOU want from life, what YOU enjoy doing. Find a hobby. Find 2 or 3 hobbies. Don’t let those moments of silence eat at you. Do something with it.”

Silvia was right. I knew she was right. So I went back to Louisiana after a short visit back home and decided that I would start figuring out what I enjoy doing. To be totally honest and transparent, I have never had a real hobby and didn't have any idea where to start so I grabbed my pinterest dream boards and started trying things that looked interesting. Long story short, I have lots of hobbies that I enjoy now like crocheting, cooking from scratch (pastas, breads etc), canning, painting faces (and on canvas), crafting, refinishing furniture and gardening.

Now hear me out. I know you just read that and thought, “when am I supposed to find the time to do any of these?” You will find time. Every time you think about texting your latest TF (guy that’s just a Time-Filler), stop! Do not send that message! Instead pick up a pen and paper and start brainstorming! Write a list of things that you have always wanted to try. Do not leave anything out. Do not talk yourself out of writing down something because you “know” you won't have time to do it. JUST WRITE THE LIST! I am well aware that you may not be able to finish this list without being interrupted. That is “mom life”. It happens. Just promise yourself that you will come back to that list.

Alright, so now that you have the list, pick one thing to start with. Once you decide what it is, connect with someone (a female!) who also enjoys or has tried this hobby. If it is a skill you want to learn, ask them to teach you. If they refuse or put you off, try YouTube. We all know we could build a house using YouTube nowadays. And then give it a good solid try. You might like it, you might not. I first made pasta from scratch to see if i would enjoy that. I knew I had all of the stuff I would need to try this so I got to it. I really enjoyed it so much. I couldn’t wait to make a visit home to tell Silvia. She was so excited to hear that I had found something I enjoy that she gave me a hand crank pasta machine. Then she told me to keep it up! That started the cycle of my hobby search and i have to say i learned so much about myself in these times.

I truly believe if you just try some of those things on your list, you will begin to find yourself. You will begin to live in a new way. You will start to see that you have talents and skills that you never even realized. Maybe you would enjoy writing poetry or drawing still-life. Perhaps you would find a hidden talent for writing music or making clothes. If you want to try your hand at photography, go for it! You never know what you will like until you try it. Plus, what if that hobby could turn into a livelihood?