Delectation

I could take your anger, ferocity that grips my mind like a twisted piece of metal

I could take your heart that hurts

And show you my heart that has a different hurt in similar places

I could take your anger inside of me to be made into something that could be better

The grief that washes away the feeling of uncertainty, fear

The angry taste of sadness is a terribly soft thing I

Realized was beyond my comprehension

Beyond my control

Soft was something I couldn’t handle

Broken mountain that I was

Your water soaked my rigid bones

Bones that felt so tight, wound tight,

The angry water burst in the bones of rock and shattered desire

You taught me how to swim in that grounded grief

The same places with different instances of pain

I was more afraid of soft than I was with fierce anger

Inklings of the fear that washed away the power of the world’s rattling, grief-soaked machine

Where the lovely go unloved, where the loveless became fatal with their distorted eyes

A vision of soft cannot be my delectation, no

I must ease into soft as one can ease their eyes into total darkness

Total silence

Feeling the ends of nerves in a canvas of silence

You know you can’t dive into soft

But like a brutal prayer cried into the void

I couldn’t handle your soft

You once questioned my terrible softness

Towards the last inch of stunning daylight,

The world could climb into soft, muddled waters without even knowing why it turned

The reason why, no one seems to have ever felt

I might have missed you most with your anger because I saw that inside of me too, in different places, in different parts of me

The softness, I found, was also there hiding

In small spaces between anger &

The Delectation of terrible, terrible soft.