I Only Wanna Be...
Entry in Tanya Lei's unofficial challenge
I wasted too many years searching for validation
from family, friends, society
an art-aced anxious adolescent
made small, pushed down
while quietly rebelling against authority
"do this, not that, be this, not that"
not words giving peace of mind
prisoner's penance, never that; I need to be free
bailed out thoughts
i won't be detained
i only wanna be...
me
~
Compliance does not define me; it's not my middle name
the odd child, strange girl, weird woman
born across the pond, raised in the States
"fitting in" failed not faired
"yank", "not American enough"
"talk like this, not like that"
teachers, peers; source of angst and tears
home shunned not schooled
the scapegoated fool
sitting in a holding cell
but prisoner's penance- never that
just wanted to be free
bailed out thoughts
i won't be detained
i only wanna be...
me
~
Too short. Too skinny. Weak. Vulnerable. Powerless.
woman in waiting to wield her worth
i've spent decades walking up hills
battling the masses
battling scornful eyes
battling impostor me
mid-life feels like I've backpeddled
no destiny found
jailed again to appease others
but a cell block won't contain me
a prisoner's penance; it will never be
bailed out thoughts
they will never detain me
i only wanna be
i can only ever be...
me
~
Author's note: This is my entry in Tany Lei's unofficial challenge. Simply being myself has been a struggle across decades. Gavin DeGraw's song inspired my poem and helps me stay on course, living life true to myself.
About the Creator
Marilyn Glover
Poet, writer, & editor, writing to uplift humanity. A Spiritual person who practices Reiki and finds inspiration in nature.
Mother of four, grandmother of two, British American dual citizen living in the States
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More stories from Marilyn Glover and writers in Poets and other communities.
One Hard Thing
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: You have the number, you know your schedule- you’ve even picked out the perfect day and time to make this appointment. Shoot, you’ve even picked out alternative days and times just in case their schedules can’t accommodate you!
By Taylor Rigsby8 days ago in Motivation
Comments (6)
Love it
I love your strong, clear voice. The repetition really works here too!
This was so poignant, relatable, and empowering. Loved your poem!
Dear Marilyn - You are you and the best judge of you..! You can't please everyone, so you might as well just please yourself. So glad you're back at it..! Jk.in.l.a.
Compliance does not define me; it's not my middle name. :) We all need to feel very comfortable in own skin.
According to the poem What a life you have led and living. Good job.