Instructions for Becoming Numb

Try to laugh.

When it doesn’t come, don’t force it.

Try to smile.

When your mouth refuses, let it stay still.

Smooth your face.

If the muscles won’t obey, stop asking them to.

Tie your lips shut.

Fix your eyes on one unmoving point.

Ignore how your cheeks burn—

that’s the last warmth leaving.

Ask yourself what happened.

Ask again.

Don’t expect an answer.

Remember your red, fine lips.

Remember your blue eyes.

Notice how memory feels sharper than the present.

Feel nothing.

Hold it.

Let time freeze around you.

Stand very still.

Become light.

Become invisible.

If anyone asks—

you are not gone.

You are only a ghost

learning how to exist

without feeling at all.